I'm an energy person. One of the things that I know about me - I know I need outlets for my energy. Sometimes, that's as simple as pacing. So, I'm here to admit to anyone who cares - when I have extra energy that needs to be released I pace.
These last few days have been really interesting. As I mentioned earlier this week I'm facing some big decisions that need to be made. The process of investigating opportunities, getting to know recruiters, submitting your paperwork to hiring managers, hoping to get an interview, interviewing one or more times, then waiting for feedback and decisions is that soul-sucking sound you hear when you start this. But that's how it works.
This week, two opportunities that have been in play, working their way through this process, got near the end and seemed promising.
Over these past few days I've been on the phone quite a bit during the negotiations - pacing. Back and forth, back and forth along the length of my apartment. The dogs are a little confused by it all. But it has all been worthwhile - positive outcomes, good energy released into the world, and perhaps even a few extra calories burned in the process.
So - yesterday it seemed to boil down to a decision between these two opportunities....each different and with a number of attractive components (and complications, as well). One happened quickly, easily, almost effortlessly. The other started that way but ended up getting a bit more complicated along the way.
I'm a believer that, often in life, the right things typically just happen - they make themselves obvious - if we're open to seeing them. We live in a culture where a "good things are worth fighting for" mentality can sometimes cloud the simplicity of the obvious, but it's really true. Career decisions, relationship decisions, general life direction decisions.....Simple is often better.
That said - the decision has been made. An offer has been accepted, and my next contract is scheduled to begin next week. There IS joy in Mudville today.
I don't know if there's a right or wrong answer, or a "better" one. Thankfully, I'm good at making decisions without constantly second-guessing myself or looking back over my shoulder. That's not the same thing as actually making good decisions, I suppose, but the ability to make a choice and go with it is not something I lack.
There are a couple of "bigger-picture" things that have played a part in all of this. I called one of my old neighbors last night - my dear friend Sally - to talk through some of what's flowing in my mind. That's another thing that helps me...to either write things down or talk things out. As long as they're trapped in my head it's sometimes harder to make sense of them. I'm thankful to have people in my life who are detached but know me well enough to look at things objectively.
I realize this might sound morose, but one of the things I told her is that I'm getting to a stage of life where a consideration in decisions I make is that I don't want to be in a city where I might die alone, not knowing anyone. For some reason, that possibility really bothers me. Although I'd prefer to be home in Charleston as second best I don't mind being in Rochester, or Phoenix, or in any of the places that I consider to be "home" in one context or another. But I don't want that to be in Charlotte or some other place where I'm just there to work. That may not make sense to some, but Sally understood even before I finished the sentence. I knew she would.
None of this should be a revelation to anyone who has been here for any length of time. My blog is 10+ years old and lots has changed over that time, but the things of which I speak are constants. I filled out my background check paperwork yesterday and had to list all the places I've lived over the past 10 years. Any idea how many different addresses there are? 11. I've lived 11 different places over the course of this past decade. That's ridiculous.
The central theme over these past several years is doing whatever I can to maintain my center of gravity in Charleston. The perfect answer for me would bring me back home and keep me there. However, that's not an option right now. I've tried, but it's not meant to be. So, more creative options need to be considered and the choice I made yesterday provides the best opportunity to get there.
My new project will eventually allow me to work remotely for some of the time. But when I'm not in Charleston I'll be in........[drum roll]......Phoenix! Yahoo for that! The logistics of making that happen in the timeframes I need them to are fairly daunting at the moment but it will all work out. Somehow, it always does.
I feel blessed sometimes. I realize how fortunate I have been in so many ways.
The irony that only 3 months ago I finally removed my last physical footprint from the Valley is not lost upon me. But - next time this week I expect to be in Arizona. And I'm very comfortable with that.
I typically wouldn't share so much about something that hasn't happened yet. Although I don't think of myself as supersitious - somehow the word "jinx" comes to mind. On the other hand - so does the word "Faith"...
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
About to Happen.
In my business - looking for a job is a lot like online dating. It can be an ego-deflating, energy-sapping, frustrating, soul-sucking, infuriatingly tedious exercise. I can't say it any more plain than that.
I introduced a dear friend to the world of IT Contracting a couple of years ago. She had seen me go through this process before and seemed confused about why I feel the way I do. Well, after she had been part of it for a little while she understood. Needless to say, she's not contracting anymore.
The hope is that whatever match you make will be (a) timely (b) financially worthwhile (c) enjoyable (d) interesting and...if all the above are true... (e) long-term. There are a number of potential down-sides to the equation but we won't dwell on this right now....let's just keep this simple.
This last contract wasn't a good fit. Technically it was fine, but many if not all the elements that made my last contract so wonderful are missing here. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault...that's just the way it is. I go in, I do my job, I go home....and that's what they paid me for. It'd be nice to get more out of it than that but in all honesty there really wasn't anything more to "get".
This process can be a fast one or a slow one. I remember writing a blog entry a couple of contracts ago when I went to Raleigh for an all-day interview. Getting past the introductions, the phone screen interviews, the eventual submittal to the hiring manager, some number of phone interviews often followed by an in-person interview, and ultimately getting a decision is no small feat. That's how it often works, tho, so it's just part of the game.
Some of the positions I've been pursuing are finally at the interview/decision stage this week so it will be interesting to see how it all plays out. I went to a face-to-face interview this morning. And - truth be told - it went really well and would be an excellent fit. Good people, interesting work, beautiful campus, excellent energy.....I really enjoyed it and am allowing myself to be optimistic. I'm told I'm one of two finalists and he has pledged to make a decision by mid-morning tomorrow.
But another opportunity came from out of nowhere and is leading the pack. I first chatted with the recruiter last Wednesday, I sent her my resume Thursday and she sent it to the client. The client scheduled a phone interview for first thing yesterday. That went well, so they scheduled a follow-up with that manager's manager. That went well, too. I strongly believe that things that happen almost effortlessly are exuding positive karma that outweighs many other factors. Anyway - it's a little more complicated than that but the fact of the matter is that the smooth way this has happened is not lost on me.
Stay tuned. I expect to make decisions on "what next" for me tomorrow. Some of it might be surprising.
We had a very pleasant weekend. We had originally planned to head to Daytona for Biketoberfest but cancelled those plans due to current events. We were both disappointed but sometimes life just gets in the way of doing things you want to do. The weather was gorgeous and it would have been beautiful. Instead, we stayed close to home and did some things around Charleston.
Saturday night a certain someone and I went to the annual fundraising gala dinner for the local LGBT organization, AFFA. As we got dressed I was reminded how many times we've done this in the past....how many dinners we've been to together. But we haven't been to one in a long time (at least three or four years) - we've both moved on from those kinds of things, I guess. Anyway, it was a very nice event.
I introduced a dear friend to the world of IT Contracting a couple of years ago. She had seen me go through this process before and seemed confused about why I feel the way I do. Well, after she had been part of it for a little while she understood. Needless to say, she's not contracting anymore.
The hope is that whatever match you make will be (a) timely (b) financially worthwhile (c) enjoyable (d) interesting and...if all the above are true... (e) long-term. There are a number of potential down-sides to the equation but we won't dwell on this right now....let's just keep this simple.
This last contract wasn't a good fit. Technically it was fine, but many if not all the elements that made my last contract so wonderful are missing here. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault...that's just the way it is. I go in, I do my job, I go home....and that's what they paid me for. It'd be nice to get more out of it than that but in all honesty there really wasn't anything more to "get".
This process can be a fast one or a slow one. I remember writing a blog entry a couple of contracts ago when I went to Raleigh for an all-day interview. Getting past the introductions, the phone screen interviews, the eventual submittal to the hiring manager, some number of phone interviews often followed by an in-person interview, and ultimately getting a decision is no small feat. That's how it often works, tho, so it's just part of the game.
Some of the positions I've been pursuing are finally at the interview/decision stage this week so it will be interesting to see how it all plays out. I went to a face-to-face interview this morning. And - truth be told - it went really well and would be an excellent fit. Good people, interesting work, beautiful campus, excellent energy.....I really enjoyed it and am allowing myself to be optimistic. I'm told I'm one of two finalists and he has pledged to make a decision by mid-morning tomorrow.
But another opportunity came from out of nowhere and is leading the pack. I first chatted with the recruiter last Wednesday, I sent her my resume Thursday and she sent it to the client. The client scheduled a phone interview for first thing yesterday. That went well, so they scheduled a follow-up with that manager's manager. That went well, too. I strongly believe that things that happen almost effortlessly are exuding positive karma that outweighs many other factors. Anyway - it's a little more complicated than that but the fact of the matter is that the smooth way this has happened is not lost on me.
Stay tuned. I expect to make decisions on "what next" for me tomorrow. Some of it might be surprising.
We had a very pleasant weekend. We had originally planned to head to Daytona for Biketoberfest but cancelled those plans due to current events. We were both disappointed but sometimes life just gets in the way of doing things you want to do. The weather was gorgeous and it would have been beautiful. Instead, we stayed close to home and did some things around Charleston.
Saturday night a certain someone and I went to the annual fundraising gala dinner for the local LGBT organization, AFFA. As we got dressed I was reminded how many times we've done this in the past....how many dinners we've been to together. But we haven't been to one in a long time (at least three or four years) - we've both moved on from those kinds of things, I guess. Anyway, it was a very nice event.
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| A certain someone and I at a dinner event - a decade ago |
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| A certain someone and I - at the AFFA Dinner Saturday night. |
Get ready. Things are about to happen....
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
A tough nut
It has been a while since I have posted here. Apologies.
There has been a shift in the Force. I can't say whether or not it's a good shift or a bad shift yet - but that's not for me to "guess" right now.
I've written in the past how I struggle with my career sometimes. I made a decision early on to be a consultant and the one time over the past 20 years or so that I found a company that I was ready to settle down with - well, that relationship only lasted 4 years.
As a result, the way my industry works is that companies identify that then need "supplemental labor" (call them what you want: consultants, contractors, temps....all basically the same thing) for some special project or some period of time so they hire one on as an hourly employee.
The good news is that, due to the temporary nature of the need, the $$$ is usually pretty good. But the reality is that these assignments come and go and once you're stuck in them the way I am it just becomes a way of life. It's an entire process to find some that would be a good fit, to interview and agree on terms, to start, and eventually....to end.
The fundamental problem in my world over recent years has been the fact that opportunities that I would want to do, or that would want me, are relatively scarce in or around my chosen home in Charleston. As a result most of my recent projects have involved some level of travel. Two projects ago I was commuting back and forth from Charleston to Releigh, NC (that got old after a while). One project ago I was commuting between Charleston and Omaha, NE. And, most recently, I have been commuting the 3.5 hours between Charleston and Charlotte, NC.
I struggle with this whole arrangement. The fact that my career keeps me from the place and the people I want to be with bothers me more than I can express. Most days I don't think much of it and simply accept it as the way things need to be right now. Given a whole lot of factors I feel fortunate to still be enjoying a career that pays me well and that I enjoy more often than not. I enjoy a certain level of flexibility that I need. But I'd trade it all for a career that had some promise that kept me in Charleston.
Many people reading this probably already know most of this. It's nothing new, and I've talked about all of this here in the past. It's the complicated set of needs and balances that typically drive my world on any given day.
So...
My contract here in Charlotte - my reason for being here - has come to an end. It is time to find something new. The timing of it puts me in a bit of a bind at the moment and I'm trying to deal with that. But the process of finding "what next" has already begun. I continue to be hopeful that the next (and final) "what next" brings me home to Charleston, but there are a number of things at play right now so we'll see how it all plays out.
I am not sad that things have ended, and there are no regrets. It complicates my world right now, but it will not be a highlight on my resume. In contrast - my last contract (the one in Omaha) truly WAS a highlight....interesting work, wonderful people, positive environment. I left that needing to be closer to things and people that are important to me and, if nothing else, it did that. I wouldn't trade some of the things that this contract has enabled in my still-growing world over the past 10 months for anything.
One of the complexities to all of this isn't simply looking for work as a woman with a trans history, it's looking for work as an older worker. Ageism is very much a reality once you get to a certain point and that weighs on my mind. I decided early on to focus on things that I can change and my age is what it is. Barriers to employment come in many flavors, and at some point in life that's just another one many of us face.
I'm not sure what point in a career a person passes "experienced" and gets perceived as "old". There is one company in particular in Charleston that would be an excellent fit for me (and it leverages my Security Clearance, which I'd like to do), but they project a younger more fun work environment. I continue to apply to opportunities that become available there and hear nothing back. I sent an email yesterday inquiring what do I or don't I have on my resume that would at least provide an opportunity for some face-time with someone. It's very frustrating.
That's the big news in my world right now. Some of the direct impacts is that we had been planning to go to Daytona for Biketoberfest this weekend but now won't be doing that. My cash-flow is a delicate thing at the moment so it's an expense I can't justify. But we will see how this all plays out. All I really want to do is to go home, but unfortunately that seemingly simple needs has proven to be a touch nut to crack.
If I've proven anything to myself it's that I can crack touch nuts. And my biggest concern heading into this "what comes next" thing is the very real possibility that my worlds will continue to be separated. Sigh. We shall see....
Some photos from the past couple of weeks....
There has been a shift in the Force. I can't say whether or not it's a good shift or a bad shift yet - but that's not for me to "guess" right now.
I've written in the past how I struggle with my career sometimes. I made a decision early on to be a consultant and the one time over the past 20 years or so that I found a company that I was ready to settle down with - well, that relationship only lasted 4 years.
As a result, the way my industry works is that companies identify that then need "supplemental labor" (call them what you want: consultants, contractors, temps....all basically the same thing) for some special project or some period of time so they hire one on as an hourly employee.
The good news is that, due to the temporary nature of the need, the $$$ is usually pretty good. But the reality is that these assignments come and go and once you're stuck in them the way I am it just becomes a way of life. It's an entire process to find some that would be a good fit, to interview and agree on terms, to start, and eventually....to end.
The fundamental problem in my world over recent years has been the fact that opportunities that I would want to do, or that would want me, are relatively scarce in or around my chosen home in Charleston. As a result most of my recent projects have involved some level of travel. Two projects ago I was commuting back and forth from Charleston to Releigh, NC (that got old after a while). One project ago I was commuting between Charleston and Omaha, NE. And, most recently, I have been commuting the 3.5 hours between Charleston and Charlotte, NC.
I struggle with this whole arrangement. The fact that my career keeps me from the place and the people I want to be with bothers me more than I can express. Most days I don't think much of it and simply accept it as the way things need to be right now. Given a whole lot of factors I feel fortunate to still be enjoying a career that pays me well and that I enjoy more often than not. I enjoy a certain level of flexibility that I need. But I'd trade it all for a career that had some promise that kept me in Charleston.
Many people reading this probably already know most of this. It's nothing new, and I've talked about all of this here in the past. It's the complicated set of needs and balances that typically drive my world on any given day.
So...
My contract here in Charlotte - my reason for being here - has come to an end. It is time to find something new. The timing of it puts me in a bit of a bind at the moment and I'm trying to deal with that. But the process of finding "what next" has already begun. I continue to be hopeful that the next (and final) "what next" brings me home to Charleston, but there are a number of things at play right now so we'll see how it all plays out.
I am not sad that things have ended, and there are no regrets. It complicates my world right now, but it will not be a highlight on my resume. In contrast - my last contract (the one in Omaha) truly WAS a highlight....interesting work, wonderful people, positive environment. I left that needing to be closer to things and people that are important to me and, if nothing else, it did that. I wouldn't trade some of the things that this contract has enabled in my still-growing world over the past 10 months for anything.
One of the complexities to all of this isn't simply looking for work as a woman with a trans history, it's looking for work as an older worker. Ageism is very much a reality once you get to a certain point and that weighs on my mind. I decided early on to focus on things that I can change and my age is what it is. Barriers to employment come in many flavors, and at some point in life that's just another one many of us face.
I'm not sure what point in a career a person passes "experienced" and gets perceived as "old". There is one company in particular in Charleston that would be an excellent fit for me (and it leverages my Security Clearance, which I'd like to do), but they project a younger more fun work environment. I continue to apply to opportunities that become available there and hear nothing back. I sent an email yesterday inquiring what do I or don't I have on my resume that would at least provide an opportunity for some face-time with someone. It's very frustrating.
That's the big news in my world right now. Some of the direct impacts is that we had been planning to go to Daytona for Biketoberfest this weekend but now won't be doing that. My cash-flow is a delicate thing at the moment so it's an expense I can't justify. But we will see how this all plays out. All I really want to do is to go home, but unfortunately that seemingly simple needs has proven to be a touch nut to crack.
If I've proven anything to myself it's that I can crack touch nuts. And my biggest concern heading into this "what comes next" thing is the very real possibility that my worlds will continue to be separated. Sigh. We shall see....
Some photos from the past couple of weeks....
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| Selfie - October 2014 |
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| This is the result of a single ant bite. Don't ask how it got all the way up there.... |
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| Low Country view...we took a long motorcycle ride stopping in Savannah and Beaufort |
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