Thursday, October 23, 2014

Decisions, decisions.

I'm an energy person.  One of the things that I know about me - I know I need outlets for my energy.  Sometimes, that's as simple as pacing.  So, I'm here to admit to anyone who cares - when I have extra energy that needs to be released I pace.

These last few days have been really interesting.  As I mentioned earlier this week I'm facing some big decisions that need to be made.  The process of investigating opportunities, getting to know recruiters, submitting your paperwork to hiring managers, hoping to get an interview, interviewing one or more times, then waiting for feedback and decisions is that soul-sucking sound you hear when you start this.  But that's how it works.

This week, two opportunities that have been in play, working their way through this process,  got near the end and seemed promising.

Over these past few days I've been on the phone quite a bit during the negotiations - pacing.  Back and forth, back and forth along the length of my apartment.  The dogs are a little confused by it all.  But it has all been worthwhile - positive outcomes, good energy released into the world, and perhaps even a few extra calories burned in the process.

So - yesterday it seemed to boil down to a decision between these two opportunities....each different and with a number of attractive components (and complications, as well).  One happened quickly, easily, almost effortlessly.  The other started that way but ended up getting a bit more complicated along the way.

I'm a believer that, often in life, the right things typically just happen - they make themselves obvious - if we're open to seeing them.  We live in a culture where a "good things are worth fighting for" mentality can sometimes cloud the simplicity of the obvious, but it's really true.  Career decisions, relationship decisions, general life direction decisions.....Simple is often better.

That said - the decision has been made.  An offer has been accepted, and my next contract is scheduled to begin next week.  There IS joy in Mudville today.

I don't know if there's a right or wrong answer, or a "better" one.  Thankfully, I'm good at making decisions without constantly second-guessing myself or looking back over my shoulder.  That's not the same thing as actually making good decisions, I suppose, but the ability to make a choice and go with it is not something I lack.

There are a couple of "bigger-picture" things that have played a part in all of this.  I called one of my old neighbors last night - my dear friend Sally - to talk through some of what's flowing in my mind.  That's another thing that helps either write things down or talk things out.  As long as they're trapped in my head it's sometimes harder to make sense of them.  I'm thankful to have people in my life who are detached but know me well enough to look at things objectively.

I realize this might sound morose, but one of the things I told her is that I'm getting to a stage of life where a consideration in decisions I make is that I don't want to be in a city where I might die alone, not knowing anyone.  For some reason, that possibility really bothers me.  Although I'd prefer to be home in Charleston as second best I don't mind being in Rochester, or Phoenix, or in any of the places that I consider to be "home" in one context or another.  But I don't want that to be in Charlotte or some other place where I'm just there to work.  That may not make sense to some, but Sally understood even before I finished the sentence.  I knew she would.

None of this should be a revelation to anyone who has been here for any length of time.  My blog is 10+ years old and lots has changed over that time, but the things of which I speak are constants.  I filled out my background check paperwork yesterday and had to list all the places I've lived over the past 10 years.  Any idea how many different addresses there are?  11.  I've lived 11 different places over the course of this past decade.  That's ridiculous.

The central theme over these past several years is doing whatever I can to maintain my center of gravity in Charleston.  The perfect answer for me would bring me back home and keep me there.  However, that's not an option right now.  I've tried, but it's not meant to be.  So, more creative options need to be considered and the choice I made yesterday provides the best opportunity to get there.

My new project will eventually allow me to work remotely for some of the time.  But when I'm not in Charleston I'll be in........[drum roll]......Phoenix!  Yahoo for that!  The logistics of making that happen in the timeframes I need them to are fairly daunting at the moment but it will all work out.  Somehow, it always does.

I feel blessed sometimes.  I realize how fortunate I have been in so many ways.

The irony that only 3 months ago I finally removed my last physical footprint from the Valley is not lost upon me.  But - next time this week I expect to be in Arizona.  And I'm very comfortable with that.

I typically wouldn't share so much about something that hasn't happened yet.  Although I don't think of myself as supersitious - somehow the word "jinx" comes to mind.  On the other hand - so does the word "Faith"...

1 comment:

Gwen said...

Even tho' you've pulled many of your anchors, you will always be welcomed back.