20 days

It's Saturday morning and I'm at work.  Today is the 20th day in a row that I've either been at work or had work commitments (I include going to Minneapolis to participate in Creating Change in that).  To say that my life is somewhat out of balance at the moment would be both (a) obvious and (b) an understatement.

I'm tired.  I mean - really tired.  Deep tired.  Soul tired.  I need an energy recharge.  I'm going to take some time on Sunday just to chill and hope I don't get out of bed until noon.  Oh - and my birthday is coming up.

My best birthday in recent memory - perhaps ever - was when I turned 50 a couple of years ago.  It's ironic that it was shortly afterwards that I was diagnosed with my malignant melanoma so in a way it turned out to be one of my most profound ones as well.  I go for my semi-annual skin scan later this week so keep your fingers crossed on that....

I'm not here today to gripe or bellyache, though.  Much of what is going on in my world is big, important, stuff.  Talks with good people from local organizations about building alliances, doing speaking events at universities and events throughout the region, strategic planning, representing the organization at various functions (I attended a dinner last night to support the local YMCA), meeting with people who want to do programming through the Center - the days are full and long.

I have never been more committed to the concept of a Community Center as a central and critical resource for both inreach, support, outreach, and education.  But I have also never been more realistic about everything that it takes to build one, especially in an area that is as geographically large and diverse, rural, underserved, and that has as much potential as we do.  I take it all one day at a time which is often the best way given that I don't get home until 9 or 10 (tonight I won't get home until after 1am) and I often have appointments at 8 or earlier.

I made the mistake of trying to calculate how much I get paid an hour by dividing my salary by the number of hours I'm actually doing things for the Center.  My lesson out of that was to avoid doing that.  

On the positive side, one of the highlights last week was attending an interfaith breakfast with a roomful of faith leaders of various levels and denominations from around the area.  There were 20 of us in the room and we discussed the beginnings of providing resources and guidance for accepting and affirming congregations here.  At one point one of the people there suggested that all of us gathered around this large square of tables join hands and pray in our own way for continued strength, guidance, and support.  I had goose bumps as I took the hands of people on both sides, closed my eyes, and let my soul do the talking.  It was a powerful couple of minutes.

There are some big things coming up.  There's going to be an article in the NY Times about a workplace transition sometime next week.  There are a couple of other things in the works that I'm hopeful will have positive outcomes as well.  We shall see....

Lastly before I have to get going:  I was moving some of the photos from the past year into various folders and came across one that I look at from time to time when I get in "that" mood.  It was taken July 13, 2010 on the summit of Humphreys Peak near Flagstaff, AZ.  It is the highest point in the state and, in some ways, represents a high point of my own personal physical and mental capabilities and alignment.

It feels odd to look at a photo taken at that altitude as symbolic of "grounding".  But I do.  We could only spend 10 minutes or so on the summit because storms all around presented real, practical dangers.  But as with most things it is the journey that day that I will remember most (photos of it here).

I want to get back there someday.  I will require dedication to balance  and planning.  But have no doubt.  I will.