One thing I was forced to consider recently is whether or not deep friendship necessarily involves Trust. There was a time when I would have said that it was one key ingredients to deep, sharing, caring, intimate relationships. I'm not so sure about that anymore, or at least perhaps I'm just not quite so naive to think that's always the case; life experience has proven that it's not that simple. I also don't believe that Trust is an all or nothing deal - that Trust is a spectrum that people in our lives are constantly moving along based on our own head-space, on events, or sometimes just on hormones. And sometimes, one of the problems is that we share too deeply or trust too much.
As for me - one of the best parts of my transition was lowering my defenses and barriers to the poing of finally being able TO share. For a long, long time I was vigilant about what I'd tell anyone out of concern that giving too much private information away (a) allowed people to see a part of me I didn't want to show and/or (b) that sharing involved becoming vulnerable and that's not something I was ready to do. Thankfully, in recent years, I've learned that I can and do trust and that I can and do get hurt. Both are ok and, in fact, are directly connected. Truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Still, part of being an adult is learning to deal with dissapointment. It's something we all need to learn in some way or another. The fact for all of us is that there are key people in our lives, who we truly care deeply for, who will prove time and again that they can and will betray personal trusts and will disappoint us. The irony is that the more we care about someone the more we feel compelled to share, and as a result the more we feel hurt when we feel betrayed. That's just part of life, and I'm certainly not alone in that - it's something we all do and all experience. As for me - I have learned to adjust my expectations accordingly, in part because I have a very strong response to betrayal of trust that experience shows can get the better of me. I have learned hard lessons...
William Shakespeare said, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." That seems to sum up how I'm feeling about it at the moment. Sometimes, finding those few to trust most deeply can be the most difficult part given the shifting sands and tides of life...
This past weekend was exemplified why I'm loving living here. On Saturday night I went to a concert at Patriot's Point. I saw the band Guster and a couple of other bands on an outdoor stage, by the water. It was one of the most laid-back, informal, wonderfully cool concerts I've ever seen. Dancing under the stars with toes in your sand, right up near the front, great sound - it all made for a very pleasant evening. More than once I simply closed my eyes to soak it all in.
Yesterday I had a delightful breakfast with a friend at a favorite local eatery, and did another 40+ mile bike ride from downtown to the Isle of Palms and back.
I spent some time walking on the beach contemplating some things.....
And I went for a kayak trip out to one of the smaller local islands near IOP.
This morning I'm still feeling some after-effects of the very-busy day. But I had a great time. :)
How come it has taken me this long to discover Skype? One friend and I have been video-chatting for a couple of weeks and it's great. I can do it from my phone or my laptop and it's very tool. The quality is good, I don't need to be attached to a network (which is what makes it different from the Apple video chatting tools) and best of all it's free.
It's Hurricane Season here, and the coming week threatens to highlight the all-too-real dangers of living in a place that can realistically be a place where a Hurricane could make landfall. They tell me that hurricanes generally hit Charleston every 20 years and the last direct hit was Hugo in 1989, so by that yardstick we're about due.
Hurricane Irene has formed down near Puerto Rico and is headed this way. It is expected to be a Cat. 2 or perhaps even a Cat 3 storm by the time it makes landfall on Friday or Saturday, and many of the current models have it hitting Charleston or slightly nearby (see details). Needless to say, it is a source of quite a bit conversation here already and I expect it will be a main topic over the coming days. All I can do it be ready for it as best I can - I've never been through one of these before - so we'll see how this all plays out. Stay tuned.
It's going to be an interesting week....
Noon Update:
Forecasters are now calling for Hurricane Irene landfall at Edisto Beach, just south of Charleston, OR at Charleston itself (see here) on Saturday morning. Sustained winds of 115+ mps are expected. The course can still change, but if not this camper is packing the car and heading inland by mid-week...
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