Some Semblance (or not)

This is the "odd" week between Christmas and New Year's. I'll be at work but most of the people I need to interract with won't. After being off yesterday it's a short week, too, so it just "feels" funny. And, I'll be leaving on Friday to spend a few days in the great white North with family. All things considered - there's really no groove to get into until all this insanity is passed and things get back to some semblance of "normal".

Last year I spend most of Christmas day in the Dallas airport trying to get from there to Charleston in advance of a major snowstorm bearing down on Atlanta.  After a day of trying to make ends meet I finally landed here near 1am on a cold, raw, rainy night.

The year before that I flew into Dallas on Christmas eve and it was snowing like nobody's business.  We got at least a couple of inches that stayed around for a couple of days, and I had an enjoyable week visiting with mom.

The year before that - well, I start to get a little fuzzy....  I can half-remember a few Christmases where I was recovering from this or that so memory of specifics is dimmed by a Percocet haze.  I spent a couple of Christmases over the last 10 years with Elizabeth and her family.  But all things considered, it's not really that big a deal for me.

One thing I'm not fuzzy about yet is what I did this year.  This year's Christmas will be memorable for it's relaxed, chill, unremarkable-ness.  I did a 45-mile bike ride along the coast.  I made a couple of medicinal doses of Gingerbread Martini to help recuperate.  I talked with friends and family, and had a very pleasant long chat with my ex-.  And I had dinner with local friends who have welcomed me into their own family.  All things considered - it was simple and it was wonderful.  And, in restospect now that I've explained all that - I suppose it was remarkable.

The center piece to the day was the bike ride.  I had been hoping to finish my entire loop before the rain started and I made it with ten minutes to spare.  It's the longer version of a loop I haven't done since summer, and I feel no shame in sharing that my legs were not at all happy with me afterwards.  I did stop a couple of times, though, to enjoy the day.  I sometimes need to remind myself that a key element of those kinds of days is the journey and not simply getting from "here" to "there".  I took a nice stroll along the beach (tide was out but coming in).  I spent a little time at a quaint little pier where shrimp boats dock and unload.  I stopped at the marina.  But perhaps the best part is that I had it all to myself.  Nobody was on the roads.  The beach was nearly deserted.  The dock was empty except for one of the shrimpers trying to fix up an old bike someone had given him.  It was great.

I took some photos and will find a way to put them into a little album that I can share.  Stay tuned on that....

Afterwards my collective body parts helped my head me to decide that I'm going to get a second bike.  The one I have is good for general purpose riding, especially down on the beach (it's a hybrid).  But now I've got the bug for a half-decent road bike for some of these 50-milers so after significant research, testing, input from friends I made my decision on which one and it's on order.  Merry Christmas to me.

Funny thing - I really don't know that many people here in Charleston but on Monday I was at both Best Buy and at the gym and people I've met here came up to me and said 'hi'.  I didn't recognize either of them - one was a waiter at my usual Tuesday night dinner hangout - but both took the time to come over to chat.  Both were very pleasant and I'm glad they did.

The weather here has been very pleasant lately except for perhaps the afternoon rain on Christmas Day that I mentioned.  Today we've got a "front" coming thru and although it's still warm (it was 55 degrees when I left the house this morning at 6:30) the rain started an hour ago and is supposed to be happening all day long.  We need it, I suppose, and honestly I think I can count the number of rainy days like this that I can remember since spring on one hand. 

Every year as Dec. 31 there's a tendency to put together Best and Worst lists as part of the Year in Review.  Without giving it too much deep thought, here is my list of the top Trans stories/events of 2011:

1) Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars
2) Video of brutal assault on MD transwoman in a Baltimore McDonalds goes viral
3) Requirement for removal of trans benefits exclusions as part of the CEI
4) In Georgia, 11th Circuit Rules for Transgender Employee in Sex Discrimination Case
5) The continuing trend of passing local and regional trans-inclusive non-descrimination ordinances

Some broader LGBT things are conspicuously missing from my list.  For example, the repeal of DADT didn't make my list because it really had very little impact with regards to trans people. Marriage in NY didn't make it, either.  I think the take away is that progress in the T isn't necessarily the same path as progress in the LG or B. 

Anyways - time to go to the gym.  Some things never end.  :)

Hot Everywhere

It's hot everywhere.  We set a record here in Phoenix yesterday.  It was 113 degrees.  Today is supposed to be just as warm, if not warmer.  All I can say - I love this weather.

I don't know if I've ever complained about heat here on my blog before because, frankly, I really don't mind it.  Just like there's cat people and dog people I think there's heat people and cold people.  I have friends who would prefer cold to heat and would explain that they can continue to add layers to get warm if they're cold, but when you're hot there's only so much you can take off.  No matter.  I'm am absolutly NOT a cold person.  And I'm loving this summer.

I arrived in Phoenx early yesterday and spent the day with my electrologyst, Maria.  Maria has become a dear, special, much loved friend over the years and her kindnesses towards me and towards others are far too many to count.  It was wonderful to see her again and have the day to catch up on things.  I have a number of things to accomplish while I'm here, and after a good night sleep I'm feeling rested and relaxed. 

Tasha from Dr. Meltzer's office, and dear Maria

I have been invited to attend a conference call today with Vice President Joe Biden.  The goal of the call is to bring a number of people up to speed on the Debt Deal in hopes of getting more "high profile" people to (a) understand it and (b) support/defend it.  I'm looking forward to hearing what he's got to say, but as I articulated in my previous note I'm very disappointed in everyone and everything that had anything to do with the dangerous game brinksmanship that we, as a country, faced.  I'm not sure what, if anything, we will learn from the experience;  as a whole our society has a very short memory span.  But those who can't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and I fear this won't be the last of the blatant indications as to the level of "broke" that our country is right now. Oy.

I'm staying with a friend who recently came to Charleston to visit with me.  We've talked for a year or more about our going together to her Pilates class.  I've never been to Pilates before but she seems to love it.  Whereas I'm reluctant to go to Yoga (although I very much need to) and Zumba (Lord knows I definitely need to) today will be my first Pilates experience.  We'll see how it goes.  I feel as though I've been eating non-stop since Monday and although I know it's not true being on the road has an odd way of making you feel "out of sorts".

The music service Spotify recently became available here in the US.  I'm loving it.  I find that I listen to all kinds of internet music and I stop to tag songs or artists that perk my interest.  Spotify lets me get deeper into music that I otherwise would only have scratched the surface of listening to.  As I type this I'm listening to the Dandy Warhols.  If you're wondering specifically what I'm listening to at this very second here's the video for it:



It reminds me of music from the 80's with a more modern twist. I like.

Since I'm on a music theme at the moment I'll share another band I've been listening to.  It's very different.  Most of their stuff is very hard and and, in fact, is the kind of music my son would have liked back when he was in high school (he has since graduated to more extreme Death Metal stuff, but that's another story for another day).

The band is Five Finger Death Punch, and this atypically quiet song has some meaning for me.  The images on this particular video make is very powerful:



And lastly, here's a move from the Jr. World Wrestling Championships being held right now.  It was featured on ESPN SportCenter as their "Play of the Day". 



I just had to share that. It's not often that wrestling gets that kind of visibility. :)

With that - off I go to Pilates. Wish me luck...

Amazing so far

I expect that this will be a relatively short entry. It's after midnight and I should be sleeping. Today was another long day and I'm physically exhausted. For some reason I can't fall asleep, tho.

This trip to Oregon has been absolutely wonderful. I'm traveling with the same friend that I went to Glacier National Park with 3 years ago, and for a week of camping and hiking when our car got broken into at Canyonlands last year. We're very travel compatible and share a number of passions most notable of which, for the purposes of this entry, are hiking/camping and photography.

We've done quite a bit of both on this trip. Thursday was dedicated to doing some exploring of small towns near here as well as a spectacular river gorge. At one point we ended up on this incredible adventure down a gravel road from the top of what seems like a mini-Grand Canyon to the bottom where we followed the Grande Ronde River for a while - into Washington State actually - before coming all the way back up and out again. The scenery was spectacular, the clouds in the distance became stormy and amazing, and all in all it was a fantastic day. I took lots of photos. Here's a candid photo my traveling companion took of me after a day of driving:

Today was hiking day. There is a lake named "Aneroid Lake" that's accessible by a fairly difficult 6 mile (1 way) hike (see a photo someone took in nicer weather here). Each day here starts out sunny but by afternoon there are thunderheads and sheets of rain that engulf the mountains. Today was no different. It was sunny when we started the hike that goes up over 3,000 feet over the 6 mile distance but we stopped to wait out two thunderstorms (one on our way up and the other on our way down) and a bout of hail. We ran into a significant amount of still-deep snow about 2/3 of the way there so (a) finding the trail and (b) keeping our footing slowed us down quite a bit.

When we got to the lake it was spectacular. There were storm clouds all around which made the reflections of the peaks and tall pines even that much more spectacular. It was well worth the hike, although the last several miles seemed to last forever. As I lie in bed and type this my legs hurt, my back and shoulders are sore, and although I'm still in very good shape carrying a 35+ pound pack (stuffed with camera gear, water, snacks, etc.) that far will test even the best athletes. I'm very proud of how we both did, and despite the various aches and pains the hike was well worth it. We got to the trail head at about 10am and finally got back to the car shortly before 6pm. It was a LONG, hard, exhausting day.

We've been up at 5:30am to catch the good early morning light for photos and we don't get to bed until fairly late (my friend did Karaoke at a local bar last night - all I had was a double shot of Jack Daniels) so we make the most out of every hour here. It's hard to believe that we're leaving tomorrow.

The B&B here has been amazing. If anyone wants to come out this way - to northeastern Oregon - don't hesitate to write me and I'll send specifics. Their breakfasts are incredible, the entire house is immaculate, the rooms and the services are awesome, the location couldn't be better, and the people who run it are just amazing. We've had the best time here and would recommend it to anyone and everyone.

There's something fun about B&B's. I was doing the guest recovery house for Dr. Meltzer for several years so I had a taste of what having short-term guests is like. On a side note - I was hoping to start up the recovery house again and we had started the process of making that happen but it suddenly died and hasn't been discussed for several months. Although I think it's a wonderful opportunity to make the surgery "experience" in Scottsdale more enjoyable I'm disappointed to think that it's not going to be available again. C'est la vie, I guess. That could certainly change but if you're coming to Scottsdale to see the Doctor and want something other than a hotel feel free to write to me. There are always options....

On our entire hike today we only ran into 2 different couples. One was an almost picture-perfect man and woman with their dog. He was handsome and she was pretty - they were both in shape, and the puppy seemed to be having a wonderful time. We bumped into them on the snow up near the lake and they seemed like the "perfect" couple. Oh - that each of us could find that. Anyway, although we were very tired and very ready to be at the lake by that point we stood and chatted for a few minutes before heading our separate ways. Meeting them energized us and helped make the last half hour go by quicker for some reason.

If my photos come out nearly as well when they're loaded onto my hard drive as they appeared thru my viewfinder I'll have some very special prints. Speaking of prints, some have asked where I find the time/money to do these kinds of things. I perceive these trips to be active efforts to plan for the future because many of the photos I've taken will become part of my portfolio. I've written in the past that my passion is photography so getting that effort off the ground - which is something I'm actively working to do - involves going places and getting amazing photos. This trip has been a smashing success in that regard.

Believe it or not there's already a Donna Rose doing photography (donnarosephotography.com) so I'll have to be a bit more creative when I give it a name. That's probably not a bad thing, although it's ironic to have someone with the same name doing the same thing I'd like to do. Anyway - more on that in upcoming weeks. I'm very excited about it all. I'll upload an album of these photos sometime next week after I've had the chance to upload them all to my hard drive. Stay tuned.

Tomorrow we leave here and make the 6 hour drive to Boise, Idaho where I'll catch my plane to fly home on Sunday. The denoument of a vacation can be a bummer. I have high hopes that this trip will continue to amaze until the time I have to get on my plane.

There was an LGBT Reception for Pride Month at the White House yesterday. I've been to White House functions twice over the past year - the Holiday Party and the Easter Egg Roll - and I'm glad to see that the President is actively reaching out to our communities. He's saying all the right things - the real worry is whether or not they'll happen in time before the November elections. I still have faith in him and will defend him as needed.

I think I'm finally ready to sleep so I'll close this now. It's 1:17am and breakfast is scheduled for 7:30 so there's still time for a good night sleep as long as I can finally drift away.

I'll close by sharing that the hike today was a significant accomplishment for me. It was a long, challenging hike spiced by the constant threat of thunderstorms but we did what we set out to do. I'll admit that I was thrilled to see the parking lot - finally - when we finally got down. It's amazing how much a hot shower, some pain meds, a cold beer (I don't usually drink bear but I made an exception tonight), and a little time can do to make a person feel human again.

Trips like this are my building blocks of living life to the fullest. I need to take advantage of them while I can, and I can't thank my friend enough for asking me to come along. This is our 3rd long trip together and I'm already looking forward to a fourth.

Oh - one last thing. Today's hike has emboldened me to do the Grand Canyon from top to bottom sometime soon. If you live in the area, are in good shape, and would be interested in talking about it feel free to drop me a line. The key phrase there is "good shape" as it's a very demanding hike so getting people capable of actually finishing it is important. I'd be happy to discuss with anyone who might want to participate.

Good night. It's way past my bedtime. Time for some Z's.

I'm Too Sexy....

I chose that title because it's the title of a song from the '80s that I don't mind if I never hear again. But it sure does get people's attention.

One of the questions I was asked at a talk recently is whether or not I had some pre-conception about womanhood, or what living as Donna would be like, at the beginning of my transition and if so how different is my life from those early notions. That was a good question and my answer could probably fill a book.

A second question I was asked was by a reporter who asked whether or not men hit on me at bars. I tried to explain to her that men hit on anything that's blonde with 38D boobs once a little soft lighting and alcohol is applied. She replied that it must be tremendously fulfilling to get that response from men, as though it were some sort of validation of my "womanhood". To that - I told her 'no'. It's not.

People's notions of what's "sexy" are unique and personal. I gave up trying to be traditionally "sexy" a long time ago - I found that it's one of those things that if I need to try to make it happen it just feels awkward and silly. I got an email from Victoria's Secret today and the model on there - now SHE looked sexy. But me? It's not something I think about, try to do, try to be, or otherwise consider in my day-to-day life. Others can worry about looking sexy in a short skirt and heels. As for me - I'll worry about keeping my face (and my pride) intact at the US World Team Trials this weekend. Sexy can wait.

Unless, of course, you find finely toned women athletes wrestling with other women athletes to be sexy. If that's the case - you'll be in heaven this weekend. Winners of this tournament wrestle at the World Championships in Moscow....

As I type this it's almost 9:30pm and I need to pack so I can get to bed. My flight leaves at 6am which means I need to leave the house by a little after 4 to get there in time. Yuck. The good news is actually the same as the bad news which is that I'm lighter right now that at any time in my adult life (my body HATES this). When I got back from practice tonight I had almost 4 pounds to spare which is very, very light for me. It means two things, though. First, is that I can eat and drink in moderation over the next couple of days. Thank God. Second, I don't plan to do another workout between now and the event on Friday. I'm done. I'm tired and worn out from doing this for days on end and need to re-energize so that's what I'm gonna do. And - that's that.

No matter what happens, I can't thank the group at Sunkist Kids and ASU enough for their help these last few days, and over through this entire effort. I'm the only person locally who is competing this weekend (but my coach will be there) so they've gone out of their way to make life difficult for me and work me hard. Although I'm paying for it now I'll appreciate it in the long run. They're a great group and everyone offered best wishes as we all went our separate ways after practice this evening. One of the best parts of being involved in organized sports is the esprit-de-corps between athletes. That's really important, because standing out in the middle of that mat prior to the beginning of a match can be a lonely, lonely place. And then - all hell breaks loose.

If all goes as planned, I'll be in Omaha at this time tomorrow and it will be the last sane evening for a few days. Onwards. And upwards.