Unremarkable

I'm finally mostly caught up from my weekend.  I don't know if it's that the weekends are THAT crazy or it's just taking me longer to recover due to age.  Yesterday I was a dragging puppy...I think I yawned more between 8am and 8pm yesterday than I have over any 12 hour period I can remember.  Ever.

It's worth it, though.  Over the weekend I did my usual crazy trip to Charleston and back.  It pays dividends beyond what I can explain, but there is a price that I'm willing to pay.

I haven't been back home in several weeks - too long.  The weekend was a unique blend of my life...I got my hair done, I did a number of errands, I got a pedicure, I spent some time at the shooting range, I had a delightful dinner with some dear friends, I did some lawn work, I went to church, blah blah blah.  All things considered - wonderful balance.  And, although none of it may sound like magic - it all was.

My luggage on the way home contained a cornucopia of interesting things.  I brought my favorite waffle iron back with me.  My "main" tripod was in it.  I had some purchases from the latest MAC collection.  There was a couple of nice Victoria Secret bras.  I had a couple of dilators.  And there was a handgun.

There are some very specific "rules" to follow when putting a handgun in your luggage to fly on a plane; I was well aware of them and followed them to the letter.  Part of the process involves declaring the handgun at the luggage counter and showing the people at ticketing that the gun isn't loaded.

It's a little unnerving to pull out a large, full-sized .45 handgun in an airport where there is a big sign on the door saying "No Dangerous Weapons".  Thankfully, there weren't too many people in line to watch.  I will say that one of the guys behind the counter spent a moment appreciating it - I did a lot of research before getting it.

After showing them it wasn't loaded I put it back in the case, locked it, and they put a bright orange sign indicating that they had inspected it and that it was unloaded into the luggage.  Someone else further down the line checked the luggage, too, based on the little TSA flyer that they gave me.  I allotted an extra half hour for this process, and was glad it didn't take nearly that long.

Here are a couple of photos from the weekend:

The Marina

Broad Street evening

If you ever want to do something humbling, try on wet suits.  They're tight, and clingy, and they accentuate every curve (both the good ones, and the not-so-good ones).  I stopped at the Scuba store while I was home and tried on 8 of them.  It's amazing that I didn't dislocate a shoulder trying to pull some of those things on.  It reminded me of the early days, when pulling on a pair of panty hose with long nails was a significant feat.  Honestly, I can't remember the last time I wore a pair of panty hose.  I hope to be wearing my wet suit quite often....

The news has been full of trans stories lately above and beyond the Pfc. Manning mess.  Two brutal murders - one in NY (story here) and one in LA (story here). A trans nursing student in Florida was denied access to the bathroom (story here).  There are dozens of huge life events happening in the lives of friends that will never make the news.  I sometimes feel fortunate that my life has become so....unremarkable.  At least, as far as most are concerned.  Truth be told - I know otherwise.

I don't usually ask for favors here, but I'll ask one now.  I've said before how important a person my electrologist, Maria, has been in my life.  She has truly helped me through the darkest of times, and she has been a blessing.  I'd do anything I can to help her, just as she has done for me.  That's what friends do.

She has been working with the trans community for over 25 years, and deserves angel wings for the hundreds of lives she has touched, and changed.  She is a gift, a gem, a true hero to many of us.

Her spa, Senza Pelo Med Spa, is one of the Top 5 Med Spa's in the annual Phoenix New Times "Best of Phoenix" voting.  She needs votes to help her achieve the top spot.  So, I ask a personal favor.  Please go the the voting ballot and vote for her (link here).  If she wins - that'd be huge.  And I thank everyone in advance for taking the time to help.  As I say - that's what friends do....

My rest will be short-lived.  This weekend I face Labor Day traffic to drive 1,000 miles to visit family in upstate NY.  Then I turn right around and do it again - in reverse.

I'll have 3 days to recover from that before heading to Atlanta for SCC.  

I'll be homesick again by then.....

As I said at the outset, it take me longer to recover from these kinds of things than it used to.  The key right now is to NOT get sick, and to pace myself.  The rest will unfold itself, as it always does.    

Short and Sweet

I'll keep this short and sweet tonight.

I was approached by a national news organization for my take on the Private Manning mess that unfolded today.  Here is part of my response:

As a transsexual woman, as someone who protects sensitive information, and as an American I cannot condone anything Chelsea has done or, more importantly, how she has done it.  Whether or not she has committed criminal acts is not up for debate.  That has already been decided.

But this entire fiasco has tainted the work, and the lives, of so many trans people who struggle to live their lives with dignity and self-respect.  We are a cross section of society and, as such, some of us have broken the law.  However, to use this as an excuse, a defense, or a self-serving distraction to suddenly announce a gender transition is more than unwise.  In my opinion, it is inexcusable.

It amazes me that we can have the governor of California sign a law respecting the identity of trans kids and this happen in the same week.  One deserves respect for the example it sets and it moves recognition that gender is more than body parts forward in productive ways.  The other does not - it is an embarrassment and a dishonor to all of us.

Granted, transsexuals face challenges in a number or arenas that don't get much visibility:  medical care, homeless shelters, prisons.  But this is not the way to move those conversations forward.  It does exactly the opposite.

I have little sympathy.

I cannot, and will not, defend her.  Some have said that the entire mess is sad.  I don't find it sad.  I find it maddening, and another example of how easily we become our own worst enemy.  

Over, and out.

Dreaming.

So, the good news is that I slept well on my new used mattress last night.  As I mentioned yesterday - it's softer than I'd choose if I planned to keep it for a long time.  But it'll do for now.

I was channel surfing this morning and came across a movie on Cinemax titled "Kinky Boots".  Despite the titillating title, it was a based-on-a-true-story feel-good kind of movie.  I did a little checking and found that it had also become a Broadway play with lyrics penned by Cyndi Lauper, and won several Tony Awards last year.  Who knew?  Obviously, I don't travel in those circles.

Anyway - I was pleasantly surprised.


I like to be pleasantly surprised....almost as much as I dislike being unpleasantly surprised.  I suppose both are part of life.

The weather here has been amazing lately, and that stretch is forecast to continue through the entire week.  Sunny, highs in the low 80's, low humidity for at least the last week, probably more.  Just wonderful.  Back home in Charleston it has been raining like crazy.  I spoke with friends in Phoenix yesterday who said that they're in the middle of a heat advisory....that usually doesn't happen unless it gets 112 or more.  Sheesh.  Anyway - I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

Several months ago we drove from Charleston to Miami for the boat show there.  It was a wonderful trip.  We were specifically interested in the sailboats, and it was the first time I've ever been around these kinds of things.

I mentioned yesterday how much I enjoy drooling over the new Corvettes.  Well, we looked at a number of boats and manufacturers in Miami.  The Corvette of all of them - by far my favorite - is made by Passport Boats.  They were crazy amazing - the layout, all the beautiful wood, just......amazing.  Perhaps way out of my league - I realize that.  But that doesn't stop me from admiring them.

They follow up with me from time to time.  Their US office is in Annapolis, and I'm hoping to visit during the Annapolis Boat show in October.  I've thought about what I'd want more - a nice house or one of these nice 45 or 50 feet long sailboats.  I know what the answer is.

Those things will have to wait for now.  As nice as the weather has been, I'm in the middle of the country so days there isn't a sailboat like that within a thousand miles of here.  But life is about dreaming, and I continue to dare to dream.  As anyone reading this already knows - dreams do come true.

Plush

As advertised, I took the plunge today.  I bought a mattress.

It really wasn't much of a plunge.  I've done a pretty good job of buying all my furniture here off Craigslist and the same is true of the mattress.  I'll admit to a bit of squeamishness wondering where it has been and what it has done - a mattress is a more intimate piece of "furniture" than, say, a table or a desk.  Wondering where a stain came from can make you feel a little skleeby.  But knowing that it's expendable helps to overcome some of those discomforts.

So, I bought this queen mattress, box spring, and frame for $50 (compared with $475 that I would have spent at Costco).  It's a bit softer (I think mattress lingo for soft is "plush") than I typically like but I figure I can dump the mattress and get a stiffer one if I find I don't like it.  Mattress frames alone cost ~$40, so it's not like I've made a lifelong investment in this.  Anyway - tonight we'll see how it works out.

I should have known better, but apparently i spoke too soon about my nails. Moving the mattress and other "stuff" today broke 2 of the longer ones. Sigh. Back to the drawing board

I must have really, really been tired from my week.  As I said - I fell asleep on my couch for a nap after work yesterday.  And I got almost 8 hours of sleep last night.  All things considered - good good.

Speaking of lifelong investments, I have no problem admitting that the new 2014 Corvette is smokin' hot, and I want one.  All the car magazines are reviewing it now - I've been waiting for the new C7 body style for a couple of years.  I realize it's totally unpractical and expensive (relatively),  but this is more of a visceral connection than a logical one.  I bought one of the new C5's when they came out in the late '90s and loved that....it was a casualty of a certain mid-life crisis.   Well, if I can find a way to get my hands on one of these babies I'm gonna love it, too.

I did laundry earlier today...washed my one set of bed linens to get ready for the new used mattress.  It was a joy deflating the air mattress and putting it away.  I hope I don't need it again any time soon.  Anyway, I'm a 90's rock throwback so the word "Plush" for me has a whole other meaning.  This is the meaning....



Rock on!

Fried-day

I'm thrilled it's Friday.  Or, Fried-day.  I'm pooped.  I got home at mid-night last night from my quick trip to San Francisco and ended up falling asleep on my couch.  I've been foggy for most of the day, got home from work today, and....ended up falling asleep for an hour on the couch.

Smoke from forest fires made for some eerie skies flying thru SLC

My quick trip to San Francisco was to do workplace training to support an employee who will be transitioning there next week.  It's the second time I've done one of these for this particular company.  It went very well....3 sessions.  I felt fine while it was all happening, but the combination of go-go-go apparently caught up with me today.

I don't usually get this tired.  As in...never.  Honestly, I don't know the last time I came home from work and took a nap.  If I didn't know better (and I don't know that I don't) I'd think I was coming down with something - I know me and something's "off".  I was so cold at work today that I came home and got into warmer clothes.  I hope I'm wrong, and all I need is some rest.  Regardless, I'll be keeping my suitcase handy as I'll need it again next at the end of next week.

I've done dozens of these workplace sessions over the years and I continue to enjoy them.  I'd do one every month if I could....I don't actively seek them out but I'm glad they find me.  I know from experience that they have value beyond simply facilitating a particular transition.

I also enjoy the opportunity to meet the people I've gotten to know over the years who are near the beginning of their journey - many become friends I stay with whom I stay in touch.  It's truly an honor to be part of their journey at this key point in their lives.  On this particular trip I had dinner when I arrived with the person I first met when came here to do a similar event the week after my 50th birthday in 2009.  She has come a long way.  The last time I saw her she came to visit me when I was recovering from some jaw surgery a couple of years ago...a kindness I still appreciate to this day.

On another topic - One thing I've been wanting to mention.  Several months ago I started taking biotin as part of my morning ritual.  It allegedly strengthens hair and nails, and I've been wanting to protect my hair from breaking.  I get it from Costco, and never expected to notice any indication that it was working or not.  I was happily surprised to learn otherwise.

I realize this sounds like some kind of commercial or something, but I can absolutely feel the difference in my hair - thicker and stronger.  And although I've never been able to maintain long nails (well...they're not long compared to others I know but they're long for me) my nails have been really nice for weeks.

Since I'll be here this weekend I've got another list.  Laundry, cleaning, perhaps seeing Peter Frampton tomorrow night, out for dinner on Sunday.

I think I'm going to get myself a mattress, too.  I've been sleeping on an air mattress ever since I arrived here in early June and that's getting old.  It's the only piece of "furniture" I need, and although it's comfortable enough it's hard to say I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed when my own bed is full of air.  I've got a mattress in my storage unit but that's not doing me any good here.  So...it's time to make myself a little more at home.  I've had a queen mattress for most of my adult life...it gives me enough room to spread out.

And rest.  I need to rest.  In fact, I'm headed to bed for some in just a few minutes.  Gnight.

Wanted

Some misc ramblings tonight.

I'm trying to make my flight arrangements to Atlanta for SCC.  Talk about ridiculous.  I can book a one-way flight from Omaha to Charlotte with a stop over in Atlanta, for $137.  Needless to say, I'd get off in Atlanta. OR, I could book that exact same flight as non-stop to Atlanta.  The cost for that would be....over $600.  Get that?

OR I could book a 1-stop flight from Omaha to Atlanta with a layover...ironically...in Charlotte.  That'd cost me more than double the $137.

The flight home is crazy, too.

Needless to say, I've gotten pretty good at making flight arrangements over the years so these kinds of little games are often unpleasant but necessary.  Ugh.  No wonder traveling can get so tiring.

I'm flying two time zones away this week to do a corporate training event in Northern CA.  I'll be there for less than 24 hours.  Again...no wonder traveling can get so tiring.

I'm headed back to Charleston for a couple of days in a couple of weeks.  The flight arrangements there are similarly complicated.  But necessary.  All that is over the next 3 weeks.....plus, the day-to-day excitement that is my life.

My iPhone is like a train wreck.  I shared a photo of it almost 2 years ago - shortly after I dropped it and cracked the face.  I could have taken it to the Apple Store and gotten it fixed.  But I didn't - as far as I'm concerned the shelf life of a phone is a year - so as long as it worked I could live with it.

Between then and now the phone has progressively gotten worse.  Gravity is not my friend.  Lots more cracking.  Pieces have fallen off....in chunks  But I've got to give them some credit....it's still working.

What am I waiting for?  The next iPhone model?  Hardly.  I'm waiting for my contract with my provider to end so I can finally get out of my contract with them without having to pay them extra for it.  They did me wrong a few years ago and I haven't forgotten.  I've been patient.  The contract ends in a couple of months.  Then - ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

I got a Facebook friend invitation from people whose profile photo is of one woman sucking on another woman's boob.  While I enjoy sucking on boobs as much as the next person, I'm not going to expose some of my friends (like my nieces and nephews, and other more casual friends) to that kind of thing.  Same for people who post photos of themselves sitting in a chair with their legs spread wide.  Not gonna happen.  There's a little something called "class" involved.

Speaking of boobs, let's talk about bras for a moment.

All of my bras are from Victoria's Secret.  I'm very loyal, and although they're admittedly expensive they fit me like a glove.  The engineering of these things borders on amazing.  Really.  The way they're built with support here, and lift there, and comfortable...just, well, amazing.  I've got a couple of favorites that are sadly ready to retire.   But, I've got others to take their place.

Another fave that I've mentioned before is Pandora.  I listen to it while I'm at work, while I'm working out, sometimes even in the car.  One of my favorite current channels is my Daughtry channel.  Every song is one I like.

Part of the reason I enjoy Pandora is that it plays music I wouldn't have otherwise heard. For some reason, they sprinkle songs by young country singer Hunter Hayes into the mix.  I wouldn't have thought it would be a good fit, but I've come to enjoy his songs.  I don't have much country music, but now I've got Hunter.

I checked out a couple of his videos.  He looks like a kid, but then again so does Justin Bieber.  I've heard one of his songs before.  This video has over 36 million views.  That's crazy.  The words are absolutely wonderful.  So meaningful....


Lastly - I went out to my truck today and found a note on the windshield.  Apparently, someone had been backing out of a parking spot and smacked into the front corner of my truck.  They left a contact number so I've already spoken with them.  The truck must have been backing up quickly, as it did quite a bit of damage.

I'm not too bothered by it (yet) as I assume the right things will happen.  It will be an inconvenience, but these things happen in life.  I'm ok with inconveniences.  I wish I had parked frontwards into the parking spot, rather than backing in.  I've already got a couple of dings on the back bumper so it would have been much less noticeable.  :)

Anyway, I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.  Time to clean up, to pack, and to get some rest.

Balance Baby

I'm watching The Matrix.  There are a number of great, important, applicable lines and phrases from that movie.  One in particular is key to many, many things: Don't think you are....Know you are.

Another key element...the sign in the Oracle's apartment.  The Latin for "Know Thyself".

And....There is no spoon.

I've seen this movie dozens of times, and each time I see it the whole nature of "The Matrix" reminds me how relevant it is to everyday life.   I was thinking earlier who I'd rather be....Trinity, or the Woman in the Red Dress.  Actually, I know the answer.  I'm far more like Trinity.  Know thyself.

It is particularly appropriate to watch this movie tonight, on my 13th Rebirthday.

One of the things I'm particularly aware of these days are all the challenges in life so many of us face - in our jobs, in our relationships, in many aspects of our lives.  There was an article a couple of months ago that was particularly relevant (read it here).

Societal stigma and the resulting prejudice and discrimination trans people face from society at large and, possibly, from family members, peers, co-workers and classmates often exacts a high price. 

So true.  It does.  It takes a whole other set of life skills to deal with that.  The cost for inner peace for many of us is a high one, and it remains an ongoing quest throughout life.  I recognize how fortunate I've been in that regard.  I still have issues - Lord knows.  But the key for me changed a long time ago, from finding a path that may or may not exist to happiness to finding my own balance.

Yin/Yang changed from being a gender thing, or a body thing, to being an overall life Balance thing.  That's the key to my own life these days.  Balance.  Finding it...keeping it for a while, and appreciating it when I find it....dealing with it when it's gone...determining what it takes to find it again...and repeat.  That's how I approach my life - cycles, tides, flows.

I've found that Transition was very much like taking the Red Pill.  It's about seeking "The Truth".  Once you take it, you can't go back.  When I see people who de-transition and try to re-insert themselves into the Matrix I get more concerned for their well being than anything.  As they so effectively describe in the movie, I suppose that some people just aren't ready to be unplugged yet.

Anyway, that's a lot of mumbo-jumbo but it's real to me.  If I had to find a word to describe today - and life in general - that would be it.  Balance.  If I had to find two words...well...they'd be "Balance Baby".  That approach has served me well over the years, and the longer I live the more I'll live that truth.

A friend invited me over for a BBQ this afternoon - it was very nice.  I worked on a little "project".  I did a shopping.  I went to the gym.  It was lower body day so today's menu included 3 miles on the treadmill, squats, sit-ups, and a number of other small tortures.  As I've said - now that I'm comfortable in this body I'm not about to let it all go to he**.  That work is ongoing.

I had planned to watch my team play football but wasn't around for it.  They did well.  Unfortunately, these games don't count.  There was a time when we were good, and we'd lose every pre-season game. Now that we've fallen on hard times, they're important confidence builders.  And not only for the players....for the fans too.

Back to my project for a second.  I bought a dress at Christmas only to find at some later point that they didn't take didn't take of the big, clunky security thing.  I took it to a number of stores in Charleston looking for where I bought it so they could fix it.  But I couldn't find it.

This security thingy had a warning on it saying it was full of ink.  I can't wear it with that plastic thing on it, so this morning I took it out to my patio with a hammer and started whacking away at it.  I got the thing off, and as advertised it was full of blue ink.  The good news is that (a) the dress is dark so it really didn't make much of a difference and (b) I sprayed it with some laundry stain remover and blotted most of it out.

I wrote a couple of things yesterday.  I've attached them, as well.

9:15am

I'm working through my weekend list already.  As I write this I'm killin' time at the Laundromat.  I don't have a washer or a dryer out here and although I could get one (or rent one) the fact is that doing laundry once every 2 weeks or so puts it on the "not a priority" list.  So, I go to the laundromat.

I'm generally not a Wal-Mart person, whatever that is.  There are very few things I actually go there for.  In fact, only two things come to mind.  One is prescriptions.  I needed a couple refilled this morning, and they're convenient and cheap.  The other is ammunition.  If/when they have it on the shelves they've typically got the best prices.

At this particular laundromat there's an interesting blend of university students, military, and "other".  This particular establishment is right next to "Babe's Fine Drinking Establishment"...it's 9:30 in the morning and the doors are already open.  Maybe it's me, but I can't imagine starting to drink this early in the day other than the occasional Mimosa, Bloody Mary at brunch, or wine cooler to tailgate.  Still...

I have no problem admitting that I'm addicted to the Sudoku game on my iPad.  Specifically, it tracks the number of games in a row that you've solved without an error - my record is 26 of them.  I play it on planes.  I play it for hours on end while I'm just chilling.  And once I get past the frustration of breaking whatever streak I've got going I'm on the trail of setting a new record.  I don't read books.  I don't play other types of games.  I just play Sudoku, and like to believe (or justify the waster of time involved) that it keeps my mind sharp.

Today is centered around the mid-afternoon showing of Elysium at the IMAX.  I'll head over that way in a bit and get my ticket...don't want it to end up getting sold out....

9:15pm

I went to Elysium at the IMAX, as planned.  It was good.  Not great.  Frankly, anything at the IMAX is impressive simply because of the IMAX experience.  The entire place shook - it was way cool as always.  But as for the story.  Well...silly.  I liked Oblivion better.  I even liked Pacific Rim better.  But it wasn't a waste of time.