Crunch Time

Last week at this time I commented about how much I wasn't looking forward to the trip to Phoenix to clean out my storage unit and drive back with all my "stuff".

Now that I'm on the tail end of the trip, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm good at these kinds of things.  I suppose that comes from having done similar efforts too many times in the past but regardless, a good end result comes from three things.  (1) planning (2) execution and (3) luck.

I flew to Phoenix late Wednesday.

The always wonderful Maria and Me.

On Thursday I picked up my truck, took care of a number of odds and ends, and spent some time with dear friends that I miss.  I haven't been back to Phoenix in over a year - way too long since we've seen one another.

It was hot.  I suppose that's to be expected but given that I needed to spend a full day packing my truck I knew it would be an issue.

The dust storm rolling in....

What I didn't expect was the dust storm that blew through the area late Thursday.  It was pretty spectacular and made national news (see more here).  We were safe in the house -

My 16' truck....she only had 3,500 miles on her when I started.

The storage unit....thankfully I've downsized quite a bit.
Behind all that stuff is 2 dressers, a sofa, a mattress and box spring,
a large leather recliner chair, two huge book shelves, and various
other furnishings.  I loaded it all myself (with the help of a dolly).

After 6 hot, sweaty hours - the truck is loaded. 

The route....2100 miles worth.

Sunrise over the Sonoran Desert - leaving the Valley....

The road....

I drove 1100 miles from Phoenix to Dallas the first day.  It took 16 hours, and I got to mom's just before 11pm.  Long day.

We had breakfast together yesterday before I left which made for a late start.  I drove 850 miles - stopping just east of Atlanta.  It was a relatively short 12+ hour drive across Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia.

I'll finish the remaining 250 miles a little later today.

The good news is that the truck has been driving well, the weather has been wonderful, the roads have been generally good, and I'm feeling pretty good considering.  When I've done this kind of thing in the past I find myself getting sick shortly afterwards....the body isn't meant to sit still for as long as mine is.  I don't have any aches or pains to speak of yet, which is a good thing.  I do have a swollen left foot and ankle for some reason - not sure how that happened but I'm sure it has something to do with liquid and sitting too long.  If that's the worst of my ailments by the time this is all done I guess I'll be happy.

So that's it for now.  The trip continues.

The Prelude

I've had my fair share of moving over the last dozen years or so.....maybe even more than my fair share.

When I was a kid we moved almost every year.  My dad was an academic in a very specialized field so we went from university to university while he worked setting up biophysics departments.  I remember each year based on the university we were at.  6th grade - University of Buffalo.  7th Grade - University of California Santa Barbara.  8th Grade - Michigan State.  9th Grade - back to Buffalo.  And on and on....

I went to 6 different schools over a span of 7 years.  I'm sure that had an effect on me...maybe it taught me to avoid making deep relationships knowing that they'd end.  Not sure - and although looking back on it now sounds bad it's just something you get used to....sorta like being an Army brat, I guess.

When I got married in 1981 one of our goals was to settle down.  We bought a house just outside of Rochester NY and that was home for the next 15 years.  That's where my son was born, that's where my career got going...there are too many "firsts" there to list.  It was wonderful.

But in the early 1990's we were already looking forward to the future.  We had visited the Scottsdale area just before Christmas one year and fell in love with the area.  So, before you knew it we had bought a home there and moved.  It was heaven.

That's when things got hard.  My gender issues were getting more profound and needed attention.  So, I started down that path.  Within 4 years I was divorced, I left the house and everything in it and was confined to a local apartment, and everything that I had known in life was in disarray.

The saving grace was that people I had met in Phoenix helped me overcome those crushing speed bumps and get to the other side.  People like Maria (my electrologist), my neighbors Sally and Ray, and others were instrumental in keeping my spirits up.  Those days helped forge lifelong bonds that I will cherish until my last day.

But the Valley had become tainted.  Memories had become unpleasant.  My wife and son didn't want anything to do with me so it became time to think about new beginnings.  In mid-2000 my brother flew down from Rochester to help me pack up my stuff.  As we drove north out of the city towards Flagstaff I thought I'd never be back.  I was wrong.

Fast forward to the end of 2004.  I had just finished working at Dell in Austin and was looking for whatever came next.  The lure of the Valley brought me back and I regained a foothold.  The bad memories that had tainted my perceptions had dulled and all that was left was my original sense of peace here, and my many friends.

I settled in the Valley again...for 4 years.  It was a wonderful time.  But eventually, it became time to go.  I put my stuff here into storage expecting to return again.

So - here we are.  Again I'm packing to leave.  Again I'm pulling up my roots here.  It is truly bittersweet, but I'm more focused on what needs to be done at this point than wallowing in the emotion of it.  Thankfully I'm pretty good at that.

The flights yesterday were uneventful.  This morning I'm at a friend's house in the East Valley, and the early morning view from her backyard is something I've come to enjoy.  It's peaceful.

The early morning view from here....in the Valley

Today is the prelude.  I'm taking my friend to work so I can use her car.  I'm going to the truck rental place to get that all set.  I'm heading to the storage unit to prepare.  I'm meeting Maria for lunch.  Then - the real meat of the trip starts....

A different M

Irony is everywhere.

I took my DMV skills assessment yesterday.  If I passed, I'd get my motorcycle license.  If not, well, I'd need to try again under less familiar and comfortable circumstances.

I passed.  Honestly, it was easier than the skills assessment I had to do on Sunday to get my Motorcycle Safety Foundation card.  Under most circumstances I would have been able to do it 90 times out of 100.  But it's the tension of it that makes it more difficult.  I didn't realize how tense I was until after it was over and I had to sign my name.  I was still shaky.

So - back to the irony thing...

Here in South Carolina when you pass your motorcycle test you don't get a motorcycle license.  You get an additional category of vehicle added to your license.  In fact, they do give you a new license but the thing you need is that added endorsement for motorcycles.

One of my classmates and I went straight over to the DMV after passing our tests to get our licenses.  We were still sweaty from the helmets and the 90-degree humid weather so any thought of a flattering photo was pretty much out of the question.  Too bad, too, because I REALLY liked my old license picture.  I've got a newer photo on my learner's permit that's not horrible, but not nearly as nice as the license.

Anyway, the key to this whole thing is to get an "M" added to the license.  The "M" stands for Motorcycle.  I couldn't help but remember how excited I was to get my "M" taken OFF the license almost 15 years ago to the day.  Thankfully - this was a different "M".

Well - they processed the paperwork, took the picture, and I had a brand new license in my hand.  But there was a problem.  No "M".

Helmet Head

I showed it to the lady who took the picture who sent me back to the woman who processed the paperwork who re-did everything.  This time they didn't take a picture - they used one of the others.  I really didn't care...when I walked out of there I had my "M".

On the down-side I took my NC Real Estate Licensing Exam today.  I could miss 10 questions and pass.  I missed 11.  I'll need to do it again....  Sigh.  Perhaps it's a balance thing.  Regardless, I'll take it again mid-month.

Now that I've got those things out of the way my sights are squarely fixed on my upcoming trip to Phoenix.  My flight leaves tomorrow.  Know what I'm going to to on the plane?  Right.  Study.

Crazed Two-Weeks....

I was a Cyclin' fool all weekend long.

I'm taking the Motorcycle Safety Foundation  course as offered at the local Harley Davidson dealership as part of their "Rider's Edge" program.  It does 3 things.  First - it teaches good basics and fundamentals in the classroom using a good little booklet, teacher/coaches who lead discussions, and videos.  Second, it teaches riding skills in a controlled setting...starting with pushing the bike and ending with a fairly comprehensive skills assessment test.  And, lastly, it allows students to take the state DMV exam as part of the class so if/when you pass you get your motorcycle rating added to your license.

They're long days.  5:30-8:30 Friday and Monday, and 8am-4pm both Saturday and Sunday.  The good news is that it didn't rain on us either day, although standing out there in the heat and humidity with a long-sleeve shirt (required) and a helmet (also required) can be harder than you'd think.

It was fun, but there was also a serious side.  Two people dropped out of the course the first day - they didn't feel ready.  Another didn't pass the skills assessment.  There are no "do-overs", and the scoring is very strict.  Skills include everything from weaving in and out of cones, emergency stopping, swerving and turning exercises, and the box.

That box - it's a killer.

It's basically a 20' by 40' box drawn on the pavement.  Riders need to enter the box, do a U-Turn/Figure-8, do another U-turn, then leave the box...all without putting a foot down or touching any of the edges (it's like the picture above except that the red line isn't on the pavement - it's just a box).

You need to manage this using the clutch and the brake and it's hard to avoid going too slow.  Putting down a foot is  4-point deduction.  Going out of the box is a 4-point-each-time infraction.  None of us did it cleanly in any of the "practice" runs, and none of us did it cleanly during the test.  Thankfully, most of us did well in the other things and passed.

I need to master this.  I'll be bringing my motorcycle  back and trying it on my own bike as many times as it takes until I can do it.  That's just how I am.

Anyway - I passed the skills assessment.  Today I take the DMV skills test and the written part of the exam.  Thankfully it's a good hair-day (so far, anyway) - just in case they need to take a photo for the driver's license.  Fingers are crossed that they do.

Kudos to our instructors and to the local Harley dealership for doing such a good job with this.  The facilities were great, they provided brand new Harley 500cc bikes for us to use, they provided a good dealership "walk-thru" on Saturday morning - all things considered it was money well spent.

Here are a few shots from the weekend:

Part 1 of my Crazed 2-Weeks...it's still not done but I'm hoping to put it to bed today.

Part 2 is tomorrow.  I'm taking the North Carolina Real Estate Licensing exam.  It's a difficult exam - only 30% of test-takers pass on the first attempt.  I've been studying but these last couple of days have cut into study time.  I'll do the best I can.

Part 3 starts on Wednesday when I fly to Phoenix....3a - get to Phoenix, 3b - pack the truck and 3c drive back across country.  If all goes as planned I'd like to arrive here a week from today....

I'm pretty jazzed right now.  The cycling stuff makes me feel like a kid.  I'm looking forward to seeing friends in Phoenix - I haven't been back in over a year.  And, I'm very very very much looking forward to finally getting all the rest of my "stuff" out of storage and back home.  I've been talking about that here for a couple of years or more - it's finally time to make it happen.  I'm not looking forward to packing it in the summer desert heat, or driving it all back.  But I've done it before so I'll just get it done.

One of the things I'm aware of is that this blog isn't really about being "T" very much anymore.  There was a time when that was the primary focus which isn't surprising given the various things I was doing at the time.  But I believed then and am relieved to see that it's true that each of us pays it forward to some degree before stepping aside for others to add their own energy and passion to the cause.  So, these days, my life is far more about simply living and doing things than about T-ness.  My blog reflects that.

I feel fully engaged.  My relationships are fulfilling.  I'm involved in lots of things that I enjoy.  Something as simple as going to the DMV to get my new drivers license was once a big, big deal.  Now, it's just something that you do.  The appreciation of that isn't lost on me.  

Anyway - lots going on.  Onwards!

Fun in the Sun

I'm  a little toasty this morning.  Most of the weekend on the water or on the beach.  It was one of those ocean-centric weekends that reminds me why I loves being in the Lowcountry.

We had several adventures.  One of the most notable was that we took the boat out past the jetties into international waters.  It was a calm day, but the swells were still 3-5 feet - it's really cool when they roll you up and down, up and down.  Surreal, actually.

Half the time was anchored close to shore so the kids could fish, swim, and do what most teenage boys like to do - watch girls.  The kids caught several baby sharks - a foot long or less - and of course they let those go.  But it was an absolutely perfect weekend to be on the water (other than the typical late day monsoonal thunder storm that typically rolls thru).

Speaking of sharks - We stopped and were getting ready to jump in for a swim (in 60' seas) when one of those things you see in the movies happened in real life.  Right near the boat, maybe 20 yards away or so, was a single fin cutting through the water.  At first we thought perhaps it was a dolphin - we had seen lots of those on the way out.  But the more we watched the more it became apparent that no, this wasn't a dolphin.  It was a shark. We joked afterward that if we had been in the water and someone on the boat had seen it we wouldn't have believed them.  Needless to say, none of us got in the water.  :)

I did a pretty good job of protecting myself from the sun but one area on me is still crispy.  It's my lower lip, of all things.  Go figure.  Anyway - it was a wonderful weekend.  I'm enjoying it while I can, because life is about to pick up speed.

I'm heading into a stretch of life the likes of which I haven't experienced for a while.  I suppose I've been enjoying the lull, and now it's time to storm.

• This coming week I've got Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Education all day Saturday and Sunday, and 3 hours on Friday and Monday evening.  
• On Tuesday I'm taking a licensing exam that I'm studying like crazy for.  And, if all goes according to plan, I'll take my motorcycle test, as well.
• On Wednesday after work I fly to Phoenix.  I can hardly remember the last time I was on a plane which is a big deal given there was a time when I seemed to fly every week.
• On Thursday and Friday and Saturday I'll deal with the 110 degree summer days and load a truck with all the stuff I've had in my storage unit there for the last few years.  
• Then, I'll drive the 2,200 miles to get it back here - probably two weeks from today.  Ugh.

That's a lot happening in a short period of time. Oy.

Truth be told (and the sickest part of all of this) is I'm looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to my motorcycle class.  I went out last night and bought gloves for it - Love 'em!  I got some boots that I need for it as well.  Love 'em, too!

I'm looking forward to getting back to Arizona.  It has been over a year since my last visit, which is way way way too long.  I miss dear friends there and can't wait to see them in person and catch up.  The down side is that I won't be there all that long and I've got a pretty full plate trying to load my truck - I won't have nearly enough time to see everyone that I'd like to.  But that just means that I'll need to make another trip when I've got more time to socialize.

Lastly for today - as I've mentioned many times over the years a typical day at work is spent plugged in to music.  Whether it's Pandora, Spotify, or some other source - it just makes the day go by faster.  Lately I've been listening to a concert that The Black Crows did with Jimmy Page almost 20 years ago.  They just don't make music like that any more.  

Healing Thoughts for Kyrie.

I ended my last entry mentioning that I was headed off to the concert.

It was a wonderful evening.  As I said, there are very few ways I'd prefer to spend a nice summer evening than watching some good music outdoors.  I've been to this particular venue before to watch the women's tennis tournament that comes to town each spring.  I was very pleasantly surprised at how intimate and comfortable it was for music.

Goo-Goo Dolls at the Family Circle Tennis Stadium on Daniel Island, SC

We had a wonderful time.

My little niece, Kyrie, went in for some significant surgery yesterday.  I've spoken about her before so I'm not going to go into detail here.  Suffice to say she's in my thoughts and prayers.  Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, or think I've got problems, I think of her and it always brings me back to center.  She deals with it all without complaint or fear.  She's truly amazing....

Father

Father's Day came and went on Sunday.  The highlight for me was to chat with my son.

We have never put much effort into Father's Day.  The same is true of me and my own dad - it just wasn't a big deal to us.  Ironically, it never felt like problem until after he passed away.  I guess some things are just like that - you take them for granted until you can't do them anymore.

I think I say this every year but I'll say this again - I respect how each of us decides to treat Father's Day.  There is no one right answer just as no two relationships between fathers and their kids is the same.  For me, it's a simple thing.  I am my son's dad.  I always have been, and I expect that I always will be.  I'm not his mother.  I didn't abdicate any fatherly ownership simply because of my mid-life lane-change.  I am tremendously proud of being my son's father.  Period.  End of story.

None of us can afford to allow any one role in our lives define us.  In that same vein, we can't allow ourselves to shape ourselves around traditional expectations or definitions.  We own that far more than most people realize, so long as you're willing to accept that not everyone will agree.  I'm fine with that.  No worries.

Tonight I'm headed to see a concert.  We've got tickets to Goo-Goo Dolls and Daughtry at the Family Circle Tennis Center.  I haven't been to a concert in a while.  And I can't even remember the last outdoor concert I attended.  It's a beautiful, warm evening here, and I can't think of a better way to spend an evening.

Onwards!