Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Gypsy

I'm the never-ending saga of "Where in the World is Donna", the answer right now is that I'm back in the great white North after a brief trip to Phoenix.  I went to take care of a number of things and now that I've let my guard down after several very busy days I realize how physically and mentally exhausted I'm feeling.  I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep.

If I had to prioritize my the things in life that cause me the most personal distress right now the thing at the top of that list would be my continuing, seemingly never-ending search for a "home".  Arizona is the closest thing that I've had to that for a number of years whether I've actually been living here or not.  Part of it is because my furniture lives here, part of it is some dear friends, and part of it is a sense of comfort. But even so, recognition that my life in recent years has been far more one of a gypsy than of anything else can cause an significant emotional response if I let myself think about it hard enough.  I try to avoid that which is probably part of why I stay as busy as I do but that's a conversation for a therapist, not something to try to explain here.

Did I watch any football over the weekend?  I'll admit that I watched a few minutes worth.  The BCS Championship Game was in Phoenix on Monday and there were Tigers and Ducks all over the airport today.  But with so many other things going on I really didn't have time for much.

I expect most people who read this are aware of the horrific events just a hundred miles or so south of Phoenix, in Tucson, over the weekend.  I'm struck that headlines focus on a couple of things.  One, is whether this had anything to do with the vitriol that passes itself for politics these days.  The other is the impact that is has on Arizona's image.

I wrote months and months ago about the tension in Arizona fueled by hatred and fear.  To think that this brutal attack is somehow removed from that is to live in a dream world.  Regardless of this shooter's mental state of mind there is no question that the sharp divide between us and "them" is part of the root cause.  One of the many tragedies is that it takes tragedy to realize what's already obvious.

If you look for it you'll see it everywhere.

My air travel going and coming over the last week has been relatively uneventful which is actually very welcome given the craziness of my flights over the Holidays.  I was a little concerned about this winter storm that has moved up the east coast would disrupt things - again - but the biggest impact here so far has been a couple of inches of snow, cold wind, and bitter temperatures.

Now that we're a couple of weeks into the New Year I've had time to consider what single word I'd use to "Define" 2010 for me.  I've done it for years now as part of looking back over the passage of time and trying to glean a single defining theme of the year.  One word that comes to mind would be Gypsy, and although it's an ongoing significant force that's not the theme of the year.  I'd share the word that defines the year for me but it'd make things complicated so I'll keep it to myself for now.  What I will share is that it begins with a "B".  The more important thing than sharing what it is is learning from it.  And I have.

Now, it's time for bed.  I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow.

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