I'm a big believer in re-invention. In that same vein, I find it to be both a blessing and a curse.
I think there's a natural tendency towards homeostasis, or stability. But often there are pressures to venture out of the inherent bubble of safety or comfort that's involved. That's true with regards to career, life experience, relationships, and pretty much anything else you can think of related to growth or maturity which are, oddly enough, also natural life events.
How does one balance this pressure to grow outside of comfort boundaries with a need for some sort of stability and safety? I dunno. When I started my transition little did I know that it would transform everything about me - not simply my gender - in terms of life experience and growth.
So here I am - in Harrisburg PA after the first week of something totally new for me. How am I feeling? Comfortable. A little relieved. Optimistic. And generally positive.
I am under no illusions that there won't be bumpy days ahead. That's just part of life. But I think it's important to gain a sense of how you're feeling about general direction in order to keep those bumps in perspective and after one week I'm good with all the above.
My most significant issues right now are logistical ones. I need to find a place to call home since I'm living in a hotel at the moment. Granted, I'm not there much except to chill a little in the evening and sleep but I still need to make some longer term plans. Now that I'm here - making those arrangements is the next big deal.
I won't call what I do here a job although it certainly is that. It's a role. It involves evenings and weekends. There were two days this week where we worked all day and then had meetings afterwards over cocktails and food. On Saturday I'll be attending the Womyn's Chorus Spaghetti Dinner here in town. There are other similar events and obligations over the coming weeks that are both part of what I do and things that I enjoy. One of the things I've missed in my "career" in recent years is any sense of personal interaction that this role is full of that. I'm really enjoying it so far.
Last night was the first night I was able to get home at a "normal" time and I took the opportunity to get to the gym for a couple of hours (much needed, both for body and mind) and do laundry (also much needed). Today I've got to do the couple hour drive to DC and probably won't get back until late (to avoid the Friday traffic crunch out of the District) so I'm glad the rain of yesterday seems to have headed elsewhere.
I realize that's probably more information about my own comings and goings than anyone really cared to know but that's what's going on in my world right now. There's lots of stuff. But I'm working thru it all and doing well. I suppose that's the most important thing.
The world continues while I settle in here. My Op/Ed on CNN from a couple of weeks ago continues to be a topic of discussion (here's an example, and here's another) and I continue to stand by my words. There are other follow-up things in the works as well. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, gotta get busy. Onwards!