Monday, November 15, 2010

Weekend in Donnaland

It was another wild and crazy weekend in Donnaland.

Last Friday night was my last night in hotel in I don't-know-how-long.  Between driving across country and being here there past two weeks I've been living an existence that feels more like dorm living than anything.  It hasn't been all terrible since I'm actually not around all that much but I've talked in the past about the deeper comforts of being surrounded by your "stuff" and having a place that feels like home.  The place that feels most like home to me at the moment is a long way away, but finding somewhere here locally to land has been the next significant logistical hurdle in settling down here.

I moved what little bit of stuff I have into my new place yesterday.  I'm on the bottom part of a house so I've got a large walk-in closet, a small bathroom, a queen size bed, a fireplace, a dining room area - it's pretty much everything I could want given the circumstances.  It's 3 miles from work which is a piece of cake....

In between Friday and yesterday I had quite the social weekend.  I drove up to Rochester to attend a wedding and spent some time with my family while I was there.  Plus, I got a pedicure - my toes NEEDED some loving.

I sometimes share things that show up in my in-box.  Here's an email I got yesterday in response to the article in MetroWeekly last week:
Concerning the interview with David/Donna Rose in the November 11, 2010 Metro Weekly:

Transgenderism is a psychological disorder springing from faulty early-life bonding and identification with the same-sex parent, and compensatory cross-sex bonding and identification.

Autobiographical works by James/Jan Morris and Chastity/Chaz Bono confirm this.  Clinical writings by Richard Fitzgibbons, M.D. and others do as well:  "Gender Identity Disorder in Children" and "The Desire for a Sex Change" at

Gender development is a function of both nature and nurture.  In homosexuals and transgenders, the problem is one of NURTURE.
My response:
I appreciate your opinion but almost all current research contradicts outdated Freudian notions regarding gender identity development.

I'd go a step further to point out that many of the words that you use - "psychological disorder", "problem", "faulty" - are also part of outdated approaches that attempts to pathologize difference. In reponse I'd argue that I'm probably as intelligent, psychologically well-adjusted, mentally healthy, spiritually comfortable, and generally peaceful as you are - if not moreso. Whether you want to believe that or not is another matter.

Regardless of how you and I may disagree about the "cause" we are reaching a point where people who may not fit traditional gender norms no longer ask for tolerance, but demand acceptance. We are no longer ashamed or guilty about who or what we are. Nor will we allow ourselves to be defined by one single aspect of ourselves. We are far more complicated than that.

My right to be me is no threat to your right to be you and if we can agree on that then all is well. It's when people (I mean people in general, not specifically you) step across that boundary by thinking that self-righteous, judgemental bigotry cloaked as anything else somehow empowers them to be ignorant is when people like me say "enough is enough". I'll stand up to that challenge ten times out of ten.

Thank you again for your opinion. And, best of luck to you.

My Buffalo Bills won this weekend!  Yay.  Miracles do happen.

The weather here continues to be autumn-magical.  According to forecasters it's about to end.  I've really enjoyed it, though.  The drive from here to Rochester up Rt. 15 into New York State was absolutely stunning.  I wish I had my big camera with me but I really didn't have the time to stop and appreciate it.

There was a Meet 'n Greet event for me in Lancaster, PA yesterday.  Even the Mayor and his wife were there - it was nice to meet everyone.  I once mentioned that I wished my career had a more "social" component to it.  I'm happy to say that this role provides that and more.  That's not to say there aren't some difficult things to do but it really provides an opportunity to mix many of the things I find both interesting and fun.  Here's are a couple of pics from the mixer yesterday:

It was way cool.  Thanks to everyone who helped to plan it, and took time out of their weekend to be there.

My car is still getting some loving (expensive loving).  I expect to have it back tomorrow.....

I'll be speaking at the University of Delaware on Wednesday so if you want specifics feel free to write and I'll send them along.

Also, people write to me from time to time and want me to call or otherwise chat.  I wish I had time to do all of the things I'd like to but I rarely do.  Still - when people are local and want to meet I do my best to make that happen.

Other people contact me looking for ways to help.  I have all kinds of ideas and I'm happy to provide input.  Lord knows I do what I can and being on the front lines can be "interesting" but it's a role I've become comfortable with.

What I'm leading up to is that one of my main roles here is as a fund raiser so if you could help the organization out as a donor (a) I'd be personally thankful and (b) I'm happy to contact you to thank you in person.  Keep that in mind moving forward.  My goal is to make this organization something exciting.  I didn't come here to do nothing and although I rarely ask for much this is more something to keep in the back of your mind than an ask.  :)

And, to keep things fun - for those who are generous enough just know that there may be kisses involved.

(After all - Hershey is 15 miles away!)


Shauna said...

Transgenderism is a psychological disorder springing from faulty early-life bonding and identification with the same-sex parent, and compensatory cross-sex bonding and identification.

Where did they come up with that?

Hope all is well Donna and soon you'll have wheels.

Dell is great to me and thank you.


Gwen said...

1) Yay Shauna!
2) Your response to the writer was outstanding, Donna.
Wish I could come back with similar responses.

Anonymous said...


I just don't get the free insult of playing with the pronouns. That alone betrays the real intentions of the sender.

The "theory" and the "science" behind his claims deserve a little word. Both belong to the dead realm of theories together with the phlogiston theory of combustion, or Ptolemaic astronomy. Only the media keeps them "alive" in an illusion of "controversy"...yawn.

I am glad you are doing well.


Anonymous said...

Love the response to that writer. I only wish I could have the same kind of response. After 10years, I too, am very comfortable in my gender and a lot happier. If it is psycological, then transitioning worked. My self esteem is high and I transitioned late in life. I was 48 when I started. I am now 61. Oh and by the way, still married, 41 years.
Sheila Coats