So here I am. In Charleston, SC. Today was Day 2 of my job here and although I realize it's early on I'm still enjoying the honeymoon. The people have been great, the project is interesting, and I've hit the ground running. All good things....
I haven't provided an entry in a week and a lot has happened in that time. I drove the 700 miles from here to Jackson, MS to meet my son last week, and then turned around and drove back the next day. Thankfully the weather was pleasant, the roads were good, the car behaved, and all went well. The hard part of the trip is that I gave my son one of the pups to take home with him. With everything going on I have a hard enough time making arrangements for one of them, much less two. So at least I know one is in good hands with my son.
The best part of the trip was being able to spend time, admittedly short, with my son. The last time I saw him was February and our visit lasted a couple of hours before I had to turn around and head back east.
Losing one of the dogs and the continuing tumult surrounding the one I still have sometimes weighs heavily on me but I've learned time and time again that part of life is learning to let go. To know that is one thing. To be ok with it is another. It's not something rational - it's emotional - and I have a tendency to find myself flooded by emotion from time to time. I'm working through this but it has certainly been another significant effort.
This entire thing has been quite the challenge. As I've said in the past there have been times when there have been more unknowns than knowns so making plans is like building castles in the sand. Some days I wake up and there are a number of significant things that need to work out but somehow, by the end of the day, they do. It's actually been pretty amazing in that regard. I have no problem making decisions - whether they're good ones or not is another matter - but in this case I'm feeling generally good about things.
HOWEVER. Although I'm doing something I've been enjoying and I'm settled somewhere I chose to be to think that I'm settled at this point would be a mistake. I've still got a number of significant things to do before that happens. But the good news is that I'm in a good frame of mind, I'm here because I chose to be here, and even in the face of the craziness of the last few weeks things are beginning to Balance out. I spent the day in Myrtle Beach on Saturday watching some amazing thunderstorms descend upon the beach. And part of Sunday was spent on a boat, walking on an amazing beach, and spending time with people I enjoy being with. I think it was my first "down" weekend in over a month.
Charleston is a beautiful place. I've been coming here for a number of years and it continues to feel special to me for some reason. People may have all kinds of ideas why I'm here but nobody knows but it's actually pretty simple. I like it here. I chose to be here. There were reasons I tried to relocate here in the past but the past is truly the past. Life has moved on, I've grown, and all anyone needs to do is to watch a sunrise on the beach with me or walk downtown, as people come from all over the world to do, and you'll understand. It's bigger than any one thing. It just "feels" good.
I'm moving forward in a number of ways but as with most things growth involves risk, and change. I've grown accustomed to both in recent years and this is another step in that process.
I need to send a special thanks to good friends who have been helping. I'm still not good at asking for or accepting help but I've come to accept that I need it, and more than ever I appreciate it. I've moved past the point of seeing the need for help as a sign of weakness but there are some things that take a while to sink in. Anyway - thanks to friends who are helping to smooth some of the bumps in this transition. You are truly a blessing.
As for Arizona - that feels good too. I miss hiking, and friends, and general feel there. I do expect I'll be back there again in some capacity again - at some point. But for now this is home. And as with the new job I'll just enjoy the Honeymoon. While it lasts, and while I can. :oD