Every time I do a blog entry I try to think of a word or a short phrase to describe the essence of what I'm thinking, feeling, or that's happening in my life. For some reason, the word that comes to mind loud and clear tonight as I type this is "Redemption".
One of the confusing things is I'm not quite sure why. I don't know who or what has been redeemed, needs redemption, or how that concept otherwise means anything to me right now. But I do know that when the universe speaks those of us who have learned the hard way listen closely. And I am.
I have had a wonderful several days. This morning I was up early. By noon I had finished a 30 mile bike ride to the beach and back, and had taken a camera-full of photos. I closed my eyes and looked skywards as I always try to do, with my feet in the tide, sand bubbling through my toes, the sun and wind on my face, and the sound of the waves filling my ears. I express thanks, I look for strength and guidance, and I simply allow my spiritual self to sip deeply from a key source of renewal for me. Maybe that had something to do with it....I don't know.
Perhaps it's the changing dynamics of relationships in my world - some of which are changing on their own and some of which have needed to change. I'm not judging whether or not the changes that are happening are good or bad because that's still being determined. What I do find fascinating, though, is how much I'm learning about me in the process. Not all of it is good....
This afternoon I had brunch downtown with some friends....it was wonderful. And this evening I went back to the beach to take more photos as the sun went down. That was wonderful too, until I started to be eaten by mosquitoes. All things considered - it was an awesome day. So here I am - at 1:15am - feeling the need to write about redemption.
I realize that much of this is probably difficult to decipher without knowing specifics but I can't share specifics now. I've made a point of guarding anonymity and privacy here in recent years, and a recent trust-betrayal has made me all the more vigilant. I don't even know what I'd say even if I could. So all I can say is that life continues to unfold, intrigue, confound, and amaze me.
I've had several people email me with news that Joe Solmonese is leaving the Human Rights Campaign in early 2012. They've asked me for comments, and I'm reminded of advice I learned as a child: If you don't have anything positive to say don't say anything. So, I'll keep my mouth shut.
I need to get to sleep. But for some reason I felt the need to write that. Why? I'll share that as soon as I know...