Happy Father's Day

I've said it before, and I'll say it again because it continues to be true.  The single-most important role in my life...the one that provides the deepest sense of fulfillment... is being my son's father.  Not his mother...as I am most certainly not that.  His father.  Physically, socially, legally, spiritually - I am my son's Dad in every sense, and proud of that fact.  Despite  else that has changed in our lives...that dynamic has not.  Thank God.

Thankfully this year we didn't get any emails or calls from reporters asking what my son calls me, or how we celebrate Father's Day.  Whatever words I use to describe the relationships in my life don't also necessarily define me.

The second most important role in my life is in being my dad's child.  Being his living spirit is something that's real and tangible in my day-to-day world.  I truly believe that by doing that he continues to have an active, living presence in the world despite his passing in 1998.

My Dad - as I remember him

When I think of Father's Day, I think of him.  I miss him, even all these years later.  It still seems odd to me that I don't have anyone to call, or anyone to send a card to.  The first year after his death the particular holiday blindsided me with an emotional punch I wasn't expecting, but the ensuing years have been a bittersweet mixture of celebration and sadness.  I realize I'm not alone in how this day "feels" for many fathers....

This year, I'm preparing for my road trip.  I expect to put several thousand miles on the truck, and if all goes according to plan I'll see my mom and son this week.

Yesterday I learned that my mom will need a pacemaker but that she's putting it off until fall - after her birthday, my niece's wedding in August, and the "harvest" of her iris garden in September.  If anything,  Fathers Day reminds me to make the most of Every Day while I can.  I've got a little bit of time on my hands, so I'm putting it to good use....  :)