Aura of Confidence

I'm wallowing in nostalgia this afternoon.  I typically have music playing in the background.  Whether it's my own substantial music collection, Pandora, a radio station on iHeartRadio, Paladia, or an album from Spotify there is usually music playing in my world.

This afternoon's selection includes Gordon by the Barenaked Ladies.  They were big in Rochester in the early '90s - long before they hit it big nationally.  I can't believe that was over 20 years ago!  Anyway, the songs bring me back to a time long ago and far away.  I'm enjoying this....

Big happenings in Donna's World this week.

I mentioned that I'm actively taking steps to change careers that would allow me to align the things that are important to me right now.  I'd rather not discuss specifics yet, but it requires a level of education/training and a difficult test to get through the door.  I took the test yesterday.  And passed.  PHEW

I like tests.  I always have.  I'm good at preparing for them and part of my personality likes the fact that there's a right answer and it's my job to find it.  That's why I like math, too.  I've been a studying machine over these past few weeks preparing for this so it's a big relief to finally get it over with.  I don't expect to be making any drastic changes in my life in the near future but it opens the door to opportunity - a door that was locked to me until yesterday.  I'm sure there will be more to come on this.

Another thing I like - Peanut Butter.  I go through periods of absolutely craving it, and this is one of those periods.  I eat it on sandwiches.  I eat spoonfuls of it for a snack.  I enjoy it...just because.

I met with my doctor this week for my annual bloodwork review.  Everything looks good.  My total Cholesterol is 151.  My HDL is 68.  My LDL is 66.

One thing she checks is my hormone levels.  My testosterone level is < 3, which I'm thrilled about.  Almost non-existent.

I've transitioned off my bi-weekly injections as my estrogen level is high even without them (as in, > 500).  I"m happy about that.  Although the shots have always provided a level of a "high" that I can feel the cost of the injectable vials makes it difficult to afford.  Each little bottle is ~$200 and I just can't justify that on an ongoing basis.

My hair is perhaps the longest it has ever been.  When it's up in a ponytail the bottom of the ponytail rests down on my shoulders - I can feel it on my neck.  I remember how odd it was to feel the long hair from my wigs on my back and shoulders in the early, early days.  Now, I hardly notice it.  My stylist likes long hair so we trim it every 6 or 8 weeks but otherwise it just keeps on growing.

All things considered - I appear to be pretty healthy.

I walked into the Dry Cleaner yesterday and the woman said to me as I walked up to the counter, "Now, there's one confident woman!".  It took me aback a little bit.  She said I just had a way about me - my head up when I walked, a purpose to my step, an "aura of confidence" (her words, not mine).  "You look like you don't need no man for nothin'" she says.  I agreed.

Frankly, I'd rather be perceived that way than as a weak and indecisive.  It's unfortunate that our culture typically applies gender to things - strong and confident are considered "masculine" traits while quiet and vulnerable are considered to be feminine. Regardless - I'm comfortable with whatever traits others perceive in me.

Last week a FB "Friend" posted an article about open-carry weapon laws in a number of states.  He wrote something about how idiotic this was, and other similar-thinking folk piled on with any number of insults and typically stereotypical comments.  I chimed in as disagreeing and provided a number of what I feel to be very valid points.  This person quickly wrote to tell me that I'm "insane", un-friended me, and removed the entire post.  As sports columnist Jim Rome used to say when asking for opinions and thoughts - "Have a take, and don't suck."  Unfortunately, social networking stresses the former and often forgets the latter.

The reason I mention that here is that a note just came up on my iPad that the Governor of Georgia signed a bill allowing gun owners to have guns in places where they had been previously banned including school zones, churches, and parts of airports (read it here).  This guy and his band of friends are probably in a frothy frenzy over it.  Honestly - I don't have a problem with it.  It's not the responsible gun owners (like myself) I'd be worried about.

What I do have a problem with is sending troops to Eastern Europe (article here).  There is no way for this to play out positively.  Frankly - I think this is just going to turn into another huge mess that we can't get ourselves out of.  Why do we never learn?

There's a bird that has made a nest on my front patio, on a ledge just outside the door.  Every time I go outside it quickly flies away, only to come back shortly afterwards (when it's "safe").  I wish I could tell this bird that I'm no threat, and that it can relax.  Unfortunately, I don't know how to speak that language so we'll just have to put up with one another as is.