Thursday, April 10, 2014


I've been away for a while.  Sorry about that.  There's not specific reason - in all honesty I haven't had much to say.

That's not because my life isn't any less busy than it has ever been.  Au contraire.

I'm taking active steps to embark on another mid-life transition.  Before anyone gets too cute - NO, I'm not transitioning back.  I'm more than happy where I am.  I've prioritized a number of things and it's obvious that if I want something to change I'm the one who needs to force the issue.  So, Ima forcing the issue.  More to come on that.

I've said for a long time that the key ingredients to any transition are (a) desire (b) creativity (c) adaptability (d) timing (e) luck....but most importantly (f) time.  Time is the key.  That's the difference between a sudden change and a transitional one.  Anyway....I'm working on it.  I suspect I'll have more to come at some point.

The advent of Social Networking has opened new horizons for meeting people, connecting with friends, meeting new people, and overall "life-sharing".  I perceive SN to be like fire - controlled it is a blessing.  But uncontrolled, it is a curse.

More than that -  when people share too much it can become dangerous. There are aspects of FaceBook that I enjoy. For example, I've reconnected with the person that I took to my High School Sr. Prom.  It has been so nice to catch up on life with here - all thanks to social networking.  Perhaps oddly - the people who are my closest friends typically aren't friends on FB.  There are FB "politics" that sometimes get in the way of what's happening in the real world that I'm just not willing to deal with.

That said - I am so so happy that none of this existed when I transitioned.  I realize that everyone is different, but for me, my transition was a personal journey that I saved to share with a small group of intimates, not to a world of strangers.  I'm not in any way saying that others don't or shouldn't feel otherwise as there is no one right answer.

More than once I've imagined myself the night before I called off my initial attempt to transition.  If there were such a thing as FB back then would I have reached out?  Would I have tried to explain the dark place I was in?  Would that have saved me from myself?  Who's to say, but I doubt it.  What I do know is that the right things eventually happened so it's not really all that important.

The reason I'm sharing that is to reiterate the fact that I'm a private person.   My transition was a deeply personal journey that I saved to share with a small group of intimates friends.  That's still true - Even though I have a public-facing side, it only provides a limited view into my world.  Does anyone know where I work?  Does anyone know where I am at any point?  Does anyone even know that I've got a very significant other in my life?  Unless you're a very small group of 1 or 2 or 3 people, the answer is "no".  I cherish my privacy as I cherish my dignity.  One you give either of them away, it's difficult to get them back.

I'm in the sharing mood, so I'll share a couple of things here tonight.

1 comment:

paintsnfun said...

I can relate, my friend. I'm a very private person too, almost reclusive. I have social activities that I do, but always on my terms. I read Facebook every day, but mostly just to keep up with news from family and friends. I rarely ever post anything, and if I do, it is likely a political comment and never anything personal. My personal life is no ones business. The people that need to know already do.

I've thought about writing my autobiograpy/transition story, but if I did, I wouldn't use my real name.