Saturday, September 3, 2011

I Don't Care

I rarely respond to comments people leave here because I feel it's a free world where people are free to share their opinions.  But I'm feeling feisty this morning for some reason so I'll make an exception.

Someone left this comment on my previous post - it's there for anyone who cares to read it.
Did it ever occur to you that there are MANY of us that find what you and what Chaz are going abhorrent? That your " self appointed activism" and his plain and simple limelight milking are hurting us both past and future far more than it is helping? That the both of you are out there reinforcing the publics prurient idea that we are all in it just in it for the sexual kicks and that those messy little things me need to survive like surgery are cosmetic and optional!
My response: Of course it occurs to me. But the fact is - I don't care! That's why this is MY blog and not yours or anyone else's.  If you don't agree with me - big friggin' deal.  I'm not here to share what's popular, and I don't give a rat's a$$ whether you or anyone else feel similarly or not.

No matter what you do in the world there will be someone there to criticize it or NOT like it.  The minute you start living your life based on your perceptions of popular opinions is the minute you give up your individuality and you admit that you're simply another sucker who is willing to hide.  I'm not that sucker, so if you come here to criticize my "self appointed activism" all I can say is go out and do your own.  I suppose if you are willing to take risks, if you get involved in efforts that are worthwhile, if you establish some legacy of your own you'll have your own "limelight" to milk, but until then stop yelling from the sidelines.  As far as I'm concerned, all you are is noise.

If you had wanted to have an intelligent conversation about it that's one thing.  But you obviously don't, so that's fine too.  Apparently that's your brand of activism.  But some things never change and when you get bitter, disenfranchised people who can't see the forest for the trees, who have one message that they need to reinforce again and again and again, who seems to view anyone who disagrees as some sort of enemy or threat - it's just being angry.

I've said and done unpopular things before and I'm fine with all of it.  I'm a big girl and can handle it.  My dad used to tell me that when too many people start to agree with him he begins to worry that he must be wrong.  Regardless, don't think for a second that I'm going to change a thing I say or do because you may or may not like it.  It's just that simple.

So back to my original point.  I appreciate that you don't like what Chaz and/or I are doing - but I just don't friggin' care.  If you want to share your opinions somewhere, start your own blog.  And I'll continue to do my thing here.  So if you don't like it - the answer is actually very simple.  Just don't come and visit.

If me somehow meet one of these days talk to me like that in person.  Face-to-face.  I double dare you.  But no - the anonymity of the internet gives rise to fools who feel emboldened to say ignorant things that shouldn't be said, or to abandon simple rules of respect and etiquette, or to think anyone else gives a damn.  I write my blog because it provides an outlet for me - it's that simple.  If you can't accept that - three words: Ki$$ my A$$.


Barbara said...

Absolutely great response! I can't agree with you more. As far as I'm concerned, you are the best "self proclamed advocate" there is, we need more women like you and more men like Chaz and why not? We are all children of God, citizens of the Uniten States, human beings, we have a right to be who we are, express our identity the WE want and be happy in our lives. You're the best Donna :)

Anonymous said...

good for you

Anne said...

Hi Donna. I just finished reading your latest post and I must admit that I am a bit surprised at your level of anger.
I suppose that I can understand that having your core beliefs questioned can make you uncomfortable, but MKIA DOES, make a valid point.

That point, which I happen to support, is that for those of us who SEEK, or have sought and acheived a level of NORMAL anonymity within the binary, "out and proud" activism does very little to benifit our lives.

In fact, IMHO, what this "activism" DOES promote is a sense or persception of "OTHER", or in the extreme, a "third sex".

I am sure that you can see the negative connotations involved with such a mistaken persception.

Also...the previous 'Anonymous' comment sIgned "anne" IS NOT MINE. Just wanted to be clear on that.


sweetbrandigirl2004 said...

Donna while I have no problem with you or Chaz continually outing themselves and I fully respect your right to do so it's not something I personal would do. My Identity is wrapped up in being "Me" and not in being "TRANS". I didn't go through years of counseling,testing,surgery, loss family,friends,career and spend thousands of dollars to complete the entire metamorphosis process just so I could run around telling everyone how I use to be a boy. No ! I did it so I could be one with myself and blend back into society and not stand out like some circus freak. While I respect you and your right to your point of view you and my views have from time to time clashed. I fully support HBS transsexuals being giving fuly equality in society but I will never support the self diagnosis self medicated transgender person who half asses transition claiming they have Gender Identity without any professional diagnosis and then proceeds to Demand the same treatment as every other women when they are still technically male. Dressing like a women, living as a women or pretending to be a women by calling yourself one doesn't make one a women. I fully believe in our binary system and have no desire to see a third sex created by the non-op transgender people. Transition is and was meant to be a process of getting from one gender to the other. There are No stops on the transitional train it is in my opinion a red eye staring in one place and ONLY stopping when one reaches the other end.........peace out !

Anonymous said...

Be who you is, not who you is not.
Folks who do this is the happiest lot.

Be happy, Donna, and don't let the idiots and sock puppets tear you down.


Teagan said...

I don't know that I'd quite agree with defining women who choose not to be public about their histories as "suckers."

Lost a little bit of respect for you with that one.

Kristina Nicole said...

Well said Donna! I particularly agree with your viewpoint that one's individuality is lost once that person begins to live their life based on popular opinions. I don't think that we should have to hide who we are if we choose not to. By the same token, while I choose not to hide my history, I also choose at this time not to be entirely public about it. I do certainly respect, and am thankful for, people like yourself who are public and seek to end the misperceptions that society has about those of us who are transgendered. Perhaps one day I will decide to become a public advocate.

Dru Marland said...

Hi, Donna. Just saw the hoo-ha in the Tranternet, and dropped in to see what the fuss was about. FWIW, yes, quite agree! Simply being 'out' about who we are is demonstrably a way of teaching people that we are normal folk who just happen to have a trans history. I say 'demonstrably' because that has been my own experience. It seems odd that people posting here (and at least purporting to be trans themselves) should characterise 'out' trans people as 'circus freaks', 'in it for sexual kicks'. I have heard such opinions expressed to me by ignorant cis people, because they knew no better; they've either learned more about it and developed their understanding, or they weren't really worth worrying about in the first place. Chin up, etc!

Quay Summer said...

I can understand why someone would want to live stealth, I would, I could never put myself out there for public scrutiny, but we need for some people to be out. If everyone were stealth we would be back in the "dark ages" when every transsexual thought that they were the only one, with no information and no one to turn to. I know for a fact that transsexual women like Andrea James and Lynn Conway, two women who some accuse of being "professional transsexaus"
have helped many, many women, by being out they have helped in a way that no stealth woman ever could. Again, I would choose to be stealth, but I'm grateful that some have the courage to be light in the darkness for others.

Stephan Anstey said...

I just want to say, Your dad's thoughts are AWESOME. I totally agree with him. I almost panic if people start agreeing with me. It suggests I've lost my mind.

Sophie Lynne said...

I think you said it best- if someone doesn't want to read your opinion, they shouldn't come to your blog.

Well spoken!

And your dad is a very wise man!

Mae West said...

Great post, Donna! Your last 3 words were the best part!

Lana Moore said...


Thanks for the reminder that to live one's life based on perceptions of popular opinions is to lose one's individuality--and on doing so is "admitting that you're simply another sucker who is willing to hide."


My respect for you was reinforced on that one.