I'm in Arizona. I flew here Friday, and expect to be here for a week. I've come for a few reasons - some of which are pretty significant.
My friend Rachel picked me up on Friday and we had a very pleasant evening. We spent a little time at the Hyatt near where I used to live where we listened to a very good band, caught up on things, and generally had a nice time. It still feels "good" here. It just does....although many of the things that were mainstays of my life here in the past have changed, or are gone. Now it's different, but not in a necessarily "bad" kind of way.
I'm here to take care of some things, to do some thinking, and to get ready for "next". Not sure what "next" is quite yet which is one of the things that makes life a little interesting right now. Some of it is pretty deep, but I'm in a place where I can detach myself from some of it and see where it leads.
I've always believed that life is some combination of timing, luck, events outside your control (often controlled by others), and your own doing. Depending on the circumstances people often want to diminish or emphasize one over the others, but the things that happen in our lives (especially the big things) is some combination of these forces.
I suppose if you really want you could add God, or Fate, or any number of other elements in it but I really don't think that making it complicated changes things significantly. They key is to recognize that some of it is you and things you can change/decide, and some of it isn't.
I've put a number of things out into the universe lately and am curious to see which of them will land and take root. Maybe none, which will send a message. Or maybe several. That will require that some significant decisions get made. Either way, this week I'll be preparing for that.
I have no problems making decisions. I've also learned that I'm as likely to make bad decisions as good ones, but you don't really know that until later. I suppose any decision where nobody gets killed or seriously injured is a decision from which you can both recover and learn. When things are going smoothly it seems like we take a break from making big decisions...it's only when things get choppy when we face them although I'm still not sure which one is cause and which is effect.
Part of the problem sometimes is waiting for others to make decisions. If they're not making the decisions we think we want we often wait hoping that they'll eventually make the right one. If we're afraid to make decisions it's easier to put the blame on someone else's delay than our own. Regardless, sometimes it's just time to make them and the rest will all just fall into place. That's where I am right now. Those are the kinds of things I'm putting together this week. Again...or still. It's just one of those cyclical things that seems to happen in my world every 9 months or so.
I'm staying with my friend Laura. She and I went out and played tennis yesterday. I had a blast. I haven't played tennis in several years but recently got my racket strung in hopes of finding someone to play with. Yesterday also had the significance of being the first time I've ever worn a tennis dress. It's shorter than most dresses I usually wear, but it was cool to recognize another "first" as it came and went. Trivial? Perhaps. But still notable as far as I'm concerned.
We went to see the movie "People Like Us" yesterday. I really liked it. We tried to go and see it in Charleston ove the last couple of weeks but it left before we could get to it. Still thinking about some of the themes...as I say I really liked it. It came along at just the right time.