Friday, February 18, 2011


As I type this it's a bit after 6pm on Friday, February 18.  It's 65 degrees outside, and all of the bars along 2nd street have their windows open, outdoor seating, and the only thing that betrays that it's still actually winter is (a) the snow piles in the parking lots and (b) all the ice on the river.  Sadly, this is Mother Nature's tease as it's supposed to fall into the 30's tonight and be 20+ degrees cooler than this tomorrow.

I mentioned yesterday that the MA governor "quietly" signed a bill providing discrimination protection for trans state employees.  I also predicted that those who oppose this move would find the "quiet" nature of the signing to be upsetting.  As if on cue - they are mad (one story here).  Go figure.

As for me, I got lots done today.  I got some work done on my car.  I've got 127,000+ miles on her and am holding onto hope that she'll last until 200,000 or more if I keep taking care of her.  There are still a few things that need doing but for the first time in a long time the dashboard isn't lit up like a Christmas tree.

As for taking care - I went to the dermatologist today who checked me over for suspicious looking "stuff". These exams are pretty thorough - close inspection of your skin, between your toes, on your scalp.  The last time I had it done I had a couple of areas sliced off my back and sent to the lab and I was prepared for something similar today.  Thankfully, that didn't happen and everything appears clear.  Thank God, and Phew.

I also had blood drawn so we'll get the results of that next week.  They lab guy really did an amazing job - it was almost painless.  I sometimes get lightheaded if they take too long but today this happened so fast - I was honestly much impressed. I'm curious as to how things are looking in that regard....

As for my trip across country - it remains an effort in flux.  There are a couple of things that need to happen by specific times but frankly I had intended to be well on my way by now.  I've got a meeting tomorrow - as in, Saturday - that I need to attend that throws everything into a mess.  I've looked and looked for cost-effective ways to avoid having to drive down there and back but every other option I can find will end up costing me more than I can afford right now.

Plus, the weather forecast at this time of year can always be iffy (a new storm is a-comin!).

If you live in the area and want to watch my babies until I can get there let me know.  Or, if you're not doing anything and want to meet me partway let me know that too.  As I say - I really don't want to drive 3,000 miles next week but realistically I don't see many other options.

As I drove back to my office after my dermatologist appointment today I spent some time thinking about the relationships in my life, both in the past and at the moment.  I think there's a tendency to want everything-you-could-ever-want in one person.  Realistically, I don't think that happens all that much.  And even when it does, the passage of time can change it.

One of the things I like about YouTube is finding people doing interesting things.  Here's a woman singing a cover of a Matchbox Twenty song.  I love her voice, her piano playing, her general sense of "presence", and most of all the way she interprets the song.

There are people in my life that I've loved at prior stages of their lives (and mine) more than I do now.  The shifting sands of time, needs, life experience, and maturity make it seem sort of like surfing.  Enjoy standing up on the board while you can because eventually either a big wave or no wave at all will take you down.

I feel fortunate to have a number of key people in my life who I can turn to for various deeper needs.  I haven't found one person who seems to have all the complicated traits/attributes/skills that satisfy my deeper emotional and spiritual needs at any point in time, and I'm ok with that.   I've got dear friends who I can turn to when I need to talk about deeper stuff, others who can provide strength, others who with whom I feel there is equal investment, and still others who have become like sisters.  Many friends cross several of these boundaries.  I've got places to go when I need to disappear.  I've got people who have shown me amazing kindnesses and to whom I feel forever indebted.  And, the best thing is, I continue to meet more people like that.  When you're open to possibility it's amazing what the Universe can provide!

My son used to tell me that I know the coolest people, and I have to agree.  I do.

Some have expressed concern that my writing seems a bit  "down" lately and I assure you I'm really not all that down.  I have my moments, mind you, but then again we all do.  I only share a small part of my life here so the picture into my world is a very limited one.  There's lots going on.  Lots and lots and lots.  My days are very full.  There are long hours, and my life in general is admittedly out of balance at the moment.  That's ok.  I recognize it, and I'll pull it all back again.  It's not forever.  Nothing is forever.

Speaking of relationships, I noticed that Facebook added some new Relationship Types: Civil Unions and Domestic Partnerships (story here).  It seems that simply adding "Partner" would be appropriate as well - maybe in the next go-around....

I was thinking back to other relatively recent birthday weekends earlier.  When I turned 40 a dozen years ago I was still married and it was pure hell.  Pure, pure hell.  We had been planning for our 40th birthdays for years but life got complicated.  My ex- got up in the middle of dinner and left the restaurant in tears.  In 2004 we participated in the V-Day event in Los Angeles.   One year a few years later a friend flew all the way from the East Coast to Scottsdale just to have dinner with me and flew home the next day.  All are memorable in one way or another.

When you deal with deeper stuff like melanoma, or the passing of another birthday, it can provide opportunities for introspection and appreciation.  I'll turn back into regular old Donna again tomorrow.  Or the next day.  ;~D

Like Mother Nature, life can be a tease.  But sometimes it's best to go along with it and enjoy it while you can.

No comments: