In my last blog entry I said something about shoes. I actually took a picture of my shoes this morning because I was wearing another of those pairs of heels that I like - relatively comfortable, a bit of height, kinda cute, a strap, and a bit of a wider heel.
That's what I'm talking about.
Work is endlessly crazed. I had a team of specialists from a certain giant huge software company in town today for a kickoff event. There were 7 of them, 7 people from my team, and me. I was the only woman in the room. I notice those kinds of things, and I'm sensitive to whether these advanced technical people treat me in any sort of a condescending or dismissive way. I know it when I see it as I've live both sides of that equation, and I've had that experience with particular giant huge software company on other projects. I'm happy to say that today there was none of that. Just one big professional group hug at the end.
When I say that work is crazed, what I'm really saying that that I'm still enjoying it. The days are long, the politics can be frustrating, some of the churn can test both creativity and patience. But the bottom line is that I'm enjoying the role I'm playing, I truly like the people that comprise the team, I love the fact that I'm here in Charleston, and overall I still look forward to getting up and going into work in the mornings. No if's, and's or but's - I just do. It's like being in a relationship where the early excitement of seeing each other hasn't worn off yet, that "newness" that gradually transforms itself into something mundane and unexciting as the routine of familiarity sets in. None of that yet. And, this is even better than a relationship because there's nobody at the other end to sap your self-esteem, control you, try to redefine you, or make you feel crappy.
Ooops. I think that was the cynic in me chiming in for a second. Sorry 'bout that. But both the dreamer and the realist in me are alive and well and living in harmony so both get a chance to speak their minds. :)
I've given up being hopelessly romantic. That's not a bad thing, because I've given up being hopelessly anything. One of the managers in my group reminds us that "Hope is not a strategy" and I actually agree with that. That's not to say it doesn't have a role, and I'd argue that Hope is sometimes all you have. But if that's true it's a dangerous place to be because I'd also argue the Life is all about Plan B so those with no Plan B need to be ready to fall long and hard.
I'd admit, however, that I've matured into what I'd call a hopeful idealist. I manage my hope, and at the same time I cherish it. But I don't count on it so I make other arrangements. If the unexpected happens - well - that's welcome too. I don't put too much trust in what others will do or won't do as I've learned I end up being more disappointed times than not. So, getting comfortable that things will unfold themselves as they do and that the unexpected happens is simply part of the joy of life.
On to another topic....I got my new iPad last week. I got Verizon flavor, rather than the AT&T flavor, because AT&T has screwed me over far too many times for me to give them another chance. Not going to happen. I just turned on the service today and I've got an appointment at the Apple Store to learn about my new toy this weekend. I'm still trying to justify what it can do in my world that I can't already do with other gadgets but we'll just have to see.
Oh...and I got the black version. So many decisions to make. Now I've got to make choices about covers, keyboards, apps....ugh.
I've got a confession to make: I "fell off the wagon" today. Not just in one thing, but in a couple of different ways. First, I've done something physical for so many days in a row I can't remember the last time I didn't go to the gym, go cycling, have wrestling, or do anything at all. Well, today was one of those days. I just needed it.
I've also been depriving myself with regards to food (and drink). Not today. The big giant software company I mentioned bought pizza for the group and I shamelessly indulged. And I didn't realize how thirsty I am until I let myself start drinking something today. I'm dehydrated. Although I feel both a little guilty and a little concerned (I still need to make my weight limit by next weekend) I'm also full for the first time in a long time. I'll end up paying for it one way or another.