It has been a while since my last post. Life goes on sometimes...
I am saddened to hear that a friend to many of us, Lisa Empanada, left this world and became another star shining bright in the sky earlier this week. Many are looking left looking for reasons, signs, or other indications that this might have been prevented. There are some things that cannot be undone - that are final. This is one of those things.
I only knew Lisa through brief introductions. She was at SCC a couple of weekends ago, and nobody there seems to have been aware of anything the might indicate that this could be on the horizon. But in a culture where the weight of life pushes nearly half of self-identified trans people attempt suicide - sometimes we succeed. Our demons can get the best of us, and it only takes one time for that to happen to snuff out a beautiful, rich, bright flame.
Her friends and family are left with the difficult task of coming to terms with grief, confusion, sadness, anger, and a whole set of strong emotions. I've seen people wondering how they could possibly succeed if Lisa couldn't. I've seen people asking if they could have done something more.
The real answer is something we all know and sometimes makes itself deadly obvious - being trans is a difficult life no matter how you slice it. That's true for ALL of us...me included. Sometimes life can get difficult and the options seem so limited. In the dark of the night despair, loneliness, sadness, and hopelessness can come out to make unfortunate things happen. I've been there, and frankly I suspect I'll be there again just as I know most of my dear friends have been there too. It's surviving those times that dictate whether or not you've reached your last tomorrow or not.
Lisa didn't survive, and although she's gone she will live on in the many people whose lives she touched, through dear friends who will never forget her, and through a bright smile dimmed too early. For anyone who has faith that spirits move to a better place after life here on earth, there is little consolation knowing that she's there now.
The rest of us are left to deal with our life realities. All we can do is help one another get through those times, and mourn one another when we can't. Most of all - actively appreciate the people in your life while you can. You don't realize what you've got til it's gone.
Soar high, Lisa. Shine down on the earth. And thank you for being who you were during your all-too-brief time here......