Faded

I wrote this on Sunday but never finished it or posted it.  I suppose I should share it here before adding anything newer.

Sunday, Oct 26

I slept until 8:30 yesterday morning.  That's almost 10 hours.  I so so so needed it.

Last night was a different story.  It was the worst night I've had in a long time.  I think I had a fever but I don't own a thermometer so I'm not sure.  Regardless, I slept horribly.  I felt like crap.  I'm still not over it....

I attribute both to my drive to (and from) Charleston.  3000 miles over 6 days culminating in an 800 mile drive on Thursday.  I've said it before and it's as true as it ever was - long road trips take a significant toll on the body.  It sounds odd to say or consider that simply sitting behind a wheel for 6 or 8 or 12 or 14 hours is exhausting but it is.  Lord don't I know.

It led me to consider that I don't remember the last time I've been sick.  I mean....sick sick.  There are times I don't feel well - scratchy throat, no energy.  But I don't know the last time I was sick.

Yesterday I ran 4 miles so I must have been feeling ok as of mid-afternoon.  But by evening I was tired to the point that I was in bed by 9.  Oh well - I'll take it easy today.  Lord knows I need it.

I had a list of things to accomplish this weekend.  Vacuum the truck (lots of doggie hair after the trip).  Go shooting and clean the gun - I did that.  Go for a run - did that too. Unpack.  Clean my make-up brushes.  I achieved most of what I had hoped to do.  But it's not even 6pm yet and I'm already in my pajamas.  I suspect tonight will be an early night, as well.

On the drive back across country we crossed the Mississippi River in St. Louis.  The World Series is being held there.  It's backed up right to the highway....

We stopped at a local restaurant that serves roast beef sandwiches....Lion's Choice.  It was excellent....

Thu. October 31

Today was Halloween.  I don't know if it has ever been more of a non-event for me.  There was a time when it was the one day of the year that Donna got to come out and "be" in the world.  I'd think about it for weeks.  Now....I would have pretty much forgotten about it except that you can't go anywhere and escape it.  

No costume.  No party.  No big deal.  I actually took the opportunity to run some errands after work hoping that crowds would be minimal.  I was right.

I made some changes tonight.  I got a new cell phone.

That probably doesn't matter to anyone else but me, but there was a time when I was absolutely dedicated to my iPhone and to AT&T.  Well, AT&T done me wrong a couple of years ago and I've never forgotten.  So, they are now history for me.   

The same is true of my iPhone.  As I said when they announced the new version I would have been far more impressed with a stronger screen and better battery life than fingerprint technology.  Well - I am now a Samsung Galaxy S4 user.  They lost me, too.

I've got quite the learning curve to feel comfortable using this thing.  But I'm comfortable that I've made the right decision for me.  It'll be interesting to see how this goes...two years from now.

Another thing that was a big deal in my life for a number of years happened this week...the Out and Equal Workplace Summit happened in Minneapolis.  That's where it was the first year I went to it - in 2003.  It was a transformative experience and set the stage for a number of things that happened over subsequent years.  I wouldn't have known it happened this week if it hadn't been for a few posts on Facebook.  I hope it went well.  I suppose I've moved on to other things in life....

Things that once took up significant portions of my time, energy, focus, and life have faded.  They have been replaced by other things.  I think that's a natural part of the circle of life.  I think sometimes we try to hold on to things too long out of perceived safety or stability.  But like it or not - things change.  The key ingredient in it all is time.

I didn't plan where my life is today.  I doubt I could have imagined it.  There are things I wish would be more a part of my life that aren't.  And there are things filling those voids.  Where is it all leading?  I don't know.  I'm still having fun watching it all unfold.

What I'm not having fun doing is mentally preparing for winter.  They said tonight was the mildest Halloween evening in 25 years here.  Temps were around 50 or so at sundown - a beautiful evening.  It's supposed to last through the weekend.  But...as with life tides...it won't last.  It's just a matter of time.....