There are few times in life that we get to experience what I call "Cinderella Moments". Being able to be pampered with something special that provides an almost magical, dream-like quality. I don't know that I can pin down all the ingredients and conditions that need to come together to create these unique, fairly rare experiences. Like water-spouts or the Northern Lights or a lunar eclipse...part of the wonder of it is that it doesn't happen every day.
I had one of those Cinderella Moments yesterday. I've got a wonderful friend who I consider to be very stylish and well-versed on putting clothes and outfits together. We had talked about spending a shopping afternoon together and that afternoon turned out to be yesterday. Her daughter, in her early twenties, came with us to provide additional perspective.
We went to one store. It's in Charleston Place. Charleston Place is a number of things....it's a luxury hotel. It has wonderful restaurants and bars. And it has high end shopping. Gucci is there. Godiva Chocolates. That kind of thing. Very nice stuff, very high end, and very expensive.
Years and years ago, in Scottsdale, I fell in love with St. John clothes. Their looks are timeless and elegant - two things that are important to me. They're made with tremendous quality, using impeccable material, and an eye for flattering the female form in all it's many sizes and shapes. The problem is that I can rarely afford it.
Well...our shopping excursion yesterday started and ended at St. John. There's a 60% sale going on which brings some of these things within my budget. Three hours of bringing things into a dressing room larger than my kitchen and trying them on. Dresses. Skirts. Slacks. Tops. Blazers. Stepping out of the dressing room to the carefully critical eyes of my friend, her daughter, and the two sales women. It was wonderful.
The good news is that we found a boatload of things we all oooh'd and ahhh'd about. From the moment you slip into these things....you just know. You can feel it. Magical.
The bad news is that we found a boatload of things that, together, when added up without any discounts, came to over $10,000. Even at 60% off that's painful. So, difficult decisions needed to be made. And they were.
These are not things I "need". I work at a company that is very, very casual and relaxed. I could wear what I've got and be totally fine there for the rest of my career. But as I look at myself 15 years into my "new" life I realize that there are several levels of "need". What I need to do is find opportunities to go our and enjoy these clothes. What I need to do is expand horizons that will allow me to do new things. That's the message I'm choosing to sense from the universe.
Yesterday's Cinderella Moment was about more than just beautiful clothes. It was a shopping experience with friends. It was about potential, and opportunity, and moments to reflect that these kinds of things are even possible. I wish my dad were here to see - I think he'd be almost as amazed as I continue to be.
So - yesterday, I had my Cinderella moment. Afterwards we went to the bar to celebrate with a glass of wine. And today I have a subset of the clothes we all agreed were wonderful and amazing. But it's not just a one-day thing. I will create opportunities in my world to wear them, and enjoy them. They make me feel good...feminine....special....like, um, Cinderella.
We all have our pumpkin moments, too, when the magic ends and everything turns back into ordinary.
Some people will get what I'm saying without further explanation. Others, I fear, never will. That's ok. It doesn't change what I'm doing or how I'm feeling about it.
It is also motivation to stay in shape. Some of these clothes fit perfectly, so allowing myself to outgrown them would be unwise. I will be at the gym later today to do my part. :)
I've got another Cinderella Moment later today. As I mentioned, when I buy new "stuff" from the MAC Store it usually involves a half hour lesson on how to use it, and what can be done with it. That appointment is for 5 today. I must be going through some kind of phase. Regardless, I'm likin' it.
In the meantime - today is a day for takin care of "stuff". Oil change. Some running around. Fitness Center. There's a movie I'm still trying to see that I suspect will be out of theaters soon. My appt. at the MAC counter. Then....someplace I can go and have some fun with it. I slept until almost 7:30 so I got a late start on it all. Regardless. I'll get done what I can. :) There will be more time tomorrow to do the rest.
Lovin' life!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Christmas 2012
It's over. Christmas is done. Phew. Like as I know it won't begin again until after New Year's, but at least the hurdle of Christmas is past.
Honestly, Christmas was actually very pleasant. Breakfast with a friend. A visit to the ocean. A wonderful dinner with part of my Charleston "family"....the second year in a row.
The morning was especially notable. Charleston was like a ghost town. Nobody was out except the dog-walkers. No traffic. No runners. No tourists. No traffic. There were no cars in the 24-hr. supermarket parking lot. It was eerie. Actually, it was wonderful....
But it's all back to normal today. Tours are going down the street. Shoppers are out. The strong storms that made their way across the south passed thru with some rain and thunder but now it's just cooler and windy and sunny. I feel like I should be at work....it feels odd to not be.
Something insignificant but telling happened a couple of days ago. I had a big box with a TV in it that I brought over to the apartment from my storage unit. It's big and bulky, and sort of heavy, but I'm used to doing things by myself and I've carried it in and out of here several times...up and down the stairs. Anyway, I was getting ready to pick it up on the sidewalk in front of where I live and a man walked by and asked me if I needed help.
Now, I knew I could do this by myself. But really, it's easier if there are two people. And, for some reason, I said no....that I've done it before and I'd be fine. He asked me if I was sure and I picked it up so he went on his way.
I should have said "yes". In fact, there are times in the past when there have been things that I've needed to carry into here that are too big for just me where I've stopped the first person walking past and they've always helped. But in the split second where this guy asked if he could help or not in my mind I knew I didn't need it so I didn't accept it.
As I say...not a significant thing. But it retrospect I find it telling. I find it hard to ask for or accept help even though I know I need it sometimes. It's hard for me.
Today has been a quiet day. There have been a couple of times when I've thought about going to the gym but the reality is that another of my "problems" is that I don't know when to just slow down. So - I spent part of the day visiting with my neighbors across the hall (wonderful people), park of it putzing around here at home, and part of it hooking up an Apple TV. I'm going to spend a quiet afternoon, and learn to do that more often....if it kills me.
The Holidays are a time of introspection and reflection. It's a time to look at your life....at what you've done as well as road left to cover. I think it's also a time to look at your life and consider things about yourself that you'd like to (or need to) change. That process is ongoing.
I stopped to see my friends at the local MAC store this morning. They had several new collections come out today and, as I've said, everyone who works there has become a friend. There are genuine smiles and hugs when I stop by...on both sides.
One of the collections is called "Strength". The particular reason I mention it here is the promo photo for it:
That's one of the things I love about the company. Recognizing that strength and femininity are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Unsurprisingly, the photo has generated a number of comments - both positive and negative - if you look for them.
Anyway - I bought my usual small stash. And on Friday I've got an appointment to actually learn how to use it. :) That's another thing I love about them.
I don't know that I've come up with a theme for Christmas 2012. It was just a day. I spent part of it with people who have become pseudo-family on a number of levels. I spent part of it comfortably alone. There was no pressure. There was no agenda.
Honestly, Christmas was actually very pleasant. Breakfast with a friend. A visit to the ocean. A wonderful dinner with part of my Charleston "family"....the second year in a row.
The morning was especially notable. Charleston was like a ghost town. Nobody was out except the dog-walkers. No traffic. No runners. No tourists. No traffic. There were no cars in the 24-hr. supermarket parking lot. It was eerie. Actually, it was wonderful....
But it's all back to normal today. Tours are going down the street. Shoppers are out. The strong storms that made their way across the south passed thru with some rain and thunder but now it's just cooler and windy and sunny. I feel like I should be at work....it feels odd to not be.
Something insignificant but telling happened a couple of days ago. I had a big box with a TV in it that I brought over to the apartment from my storage unit. It's big and bulky, and sort of heavy, but I'm used to doing things by myself and I've carried it in and out of here several times...up and down the stairs. Anyway, I was getting ready to pick it up on the sidewalk in front of where I live and a man walked by and asked me if I needed help.
Now, I knew I could do this by myself. But really, it's easier if there are two people. And, for some reason, I said no....that I've done it before and I'd be fine. He asked me if I was sure and I picked it up so he went on his way.
I should have said "yes". In fact, there are times in the past when there have been things that I've needed to carry into here that are too big for just me where I've stopped the first person walking past and they've always helped. But in the split second where this guy asked if he could help or not in my mind I knew I didn't need it so I didn't accept it.
As I say...not a significant thing. But it retrospect I find it telling. I find it hard to ask for or accept help even though I know I need it sometimes. It's hard for me.
Today has been a quiet day. There have been a couple of times when I've thought about going to the gym but the reality is that another of my "problems" is that I don't know when to just slow down. So - I spent part of the day visiting with my neighbors across the hall (wonderful people), park of it putzing around here at home, and part of it hooking up an Apple TV. I'm going to spend a quiet afternoon, and learn to do that more often....if it kills me.
The Holidays are a time of introspection and reflection. It's a time to look at your life....at what you've done as well as road left to cover. I think it's also a time to look at your life and consider things about yourself that you'd like to (or need to) change. That process is ongoing.
I stopped to see my friends at the local MAC store this morning. They had several new collections come out today and, as I've said, everyone who works there has become a friend. There are genuine smiles and hugs when I stop by...on both sides.
One of the collections is called "Strength". The particular reason I mention it here is the promo photo for it:
That's one of the things I love about the company. Recognizing that strength and femininity are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Unsurprisingly, the photo has generated a number of comments - both positive and negative - if you look for them.
Anyway - I bought my usual small stash. And on Friday I've got an appointment to actually learn how to use it. :) That's another thing I love about them.
I don't know that I've come up with a theme for Christmas 2012. It was just a day. I spent part of it with people who have become pseudo-family on a number of levels. I spent part of it comfortably alone. There was no pressure. There was no agenda.
Monday, December 24, 2012
' Tis the Season
It's Christmas eve. 6:30am
I was out and about for a while yesterday and don't know if people were more filled with joy, anger, anxiety, or relief that it's almost over. I think the so-called "Holiday Season" brings out both the best and worst in people. It's days like this I'm happy to be away from it all.
It can be quite the time to endure. I recently read on article on Huffington that I'm sure many of us can relate to (read it here). One friend sent Christmas gifts to rejecting family and they were returned, unopened. I could go on and on with those kinds of stories but what's the point?
I'm fortunate because my family is wonderful and I could certainly go and spend the Holidays with them. But truth be told I'm enjoying my "me" time right now.
As the year winds down there automatically some level of analysis. Over this past year several of the relationships in my life have shifted significantly, while others that weren't in the picture have become more important. Physically, I'm still in good shape but I am noticing that it's not the same as it was. Mentally, I'm feeling good. And generally, the thing I'm most thankful for (after my health) is having a generally good sense of balance right now.
Christmas eve 9pm
So....it's not an evening unlike other evenings. I'm watching a movie that I've been wanting to see. It's an animated movie that came out a couple of years ago that I didn't get to see in the theaters: "How To Train Your Dragon". I'm really enjoying it. It's cute. Plus - there's lots of it I can identify with. I only hope it doesn't make me cry.
For years, our family quote-unquote Christmas Movie was the old "A Christmas Carol" with Alastair Sim. But I haven't even seen it available on any of my channel for years. I remember all of us watching it together - my brother and sister and dad. There's all kinds of newer versions....but it's not the same. Like many of my other Holiday memories they're now just that - memories. That's not a bad thing...in fact I cling to them. I don't have to keep reliving them year after year. I think the key is to make new ones.
It was a good day. I was out early and said "Merry Christmas" to a few friends around town. I did a couple of last minute shopping things. I took a nap. I had dinner with a certain friend, and her family. Now I'm watching my movie, and feeling good. I've had a couple of invitations to do things this evening but, to be honest, this kind of simple thing is exactly what I need right now. I'll be in bed early.
My only Christmas decoration is my trusty stocking that my sister made for me. It doesn't have anything in it, but at least it's got my name on it. And the one of the two presents I bought for myself is under it by the fireplace. A new camera. I'll open it tomorrow, so I'll have something to play with.
As you can see - I've gone to the dark side. This is my first Nikon. I had to get myself one thing....and this is that thing. Photography makes me happy. It always has. And if I have my way it will be a profession more than a hobby at some point.
Last year I got myself a bike. The year before....well, I can't remember.
Anyway - time for an egg nog concoction I've come up with....egg nog with a "touch" of Baily's Irish Cream, Kahlua, vodka. Then....sleep.
Tomorrow - a bit of breakfast, a bike ride or a run, some time here at the apartment, some time playing with my new "toy". I've got dinner planned with some friends at their beautiful house. It's supposed to rain in the afternoon...but the high will be 65. We'll see how it unfolds. That's half the fun.
I've talked with a couple of friends today who are struggling with family issues. As many of us know....the Holidays seem to bring things to a head sometimes, for better or for worse.
But - to whoever out there reads what I write - Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, and I hope that wherever you are and whatever you believe you're at Peace. As far as I'm concerned - that's the goal for all of this.
Peace.
I was out and about for a while yesterday and don't know if people were more filled with joy, anger, anxiety, or relief that it's almost over. I think the so-called "Holiday Season" brings out both the best and worst in people. It's days like this I'm happy to be away from it all.
It can be quite the time to endure. I recently read on article on Huffington that I'm sure many of us can relate to (read it here). One friend sent Christmas gifts to rejecting family and they were returned, unopened. I could go on and on with those kinds of stories but what's the point?
I'm fortunate because my family is wonderful and I could certainly go and spend the Holidays with them. But truth be told I'm enjoying my "me" time right now.
As the year winds down there automatically some level of analysis. Over this past year several of the relationships in my life have shifted significantly, while others that weren't in the picture have become more important. Physically, I'm still in good shape but I am noticing that it's not the same as it was. Mentally, I'm feeling good. And generally, the thing I'm most thankful for (after my health) is having a generally good sense of balance right now.
Christmas eve 9pm
So....it's not an evening unlike other evenings. I'm watching a movie that I've been wanting to see. It's an animated movie that came out a couple of years ago that I didn't get to see in the theaters: "How To Train Your Dragon". I'm really enjoying it. It's cute. Plus - there's lots of it I can identify with. I only hope it doesn't make me cry.
For years, our family quote-unquote Christmas Movie was the old "A Christmas Carol" with Alastair Sim. But I haven't even seen it available on any of my channel for years. I remember all of us watching it together - my brother and sister and dad. There's all kinds of newer versions....but it's not the same. Like many of my other Holiday memories they're now just that - memories. That's not a bad thing...in fact I cling to them. I don't have to keep reliving them year after year. I think the key is to make new ones.
It was a good day. I was out early and said "Merry Christmas" to a few friends around town. I did a couple of last minute shopping things. I took a nap. I had dinner with a certain friend, and her family. Now I'm watching my movie, and feeling good. I've had a couple of invitations to do things this evening but, to be honest, this kind of simple thing is exactly what I need right now. I'll be in bed early.
My only Christmas decoration is my trusty stocking that my sister made for me. It doesn't have anything in it, but at least it's got my name on it. And the one of the two presents I bought for myself is under it by the fireplace. A new camera. I'll open it tomorrow, so I'll have something to play with.
As you can see - I've gone to the dark side. This is my first Nikon. I had to get myself one thing....and this is that thing. Photography makes me happy. It always has. And if I have my way it will be a profession more than a hobby at some point.
Last year I got myself a bike. The year before....well, I can't remember.
Anyway - time for an egg nog concoction I've come up with....egg nog with a "touch" of Baily's Irish Cream, Kahlua, vodka. Then....sleep.
Tomorrow - a bit of breakfast, a bike ride or a run, some time here at the apartment, some time playing with my new "toy". I've got dinner planned with some friends at their beautiful house. It's supposed to rain in the afternoon...but the high will be 65. We'll see how it unfolds. That's half the fun.
I've talked with a couple of friends today who are struggling with family issues. As many of us know....the Holidays seem to bring things to a head sometimes, for better or for worse.
But - to whoever out there reads what I write - Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, and I hope that wherever you are and whatever you believe you're at Peace. As far as I'm concerned - that's the goal for all of this.
Peace.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Vacation
I'm on vacation.
I'm not on a vacation-vacation. I mean, when I think of going on vacation there's a certain aspect of getting away and "doing" something. But the company I'm working for in Raleigh closes down as of today thru Jan. 2 so you couldn't work even if you wanted to. Thus, I'm on vacation at home.
I've got some plans for my vacation - one of which is to unplug as much as possible. Another is to rest. A third is simply to do some things I've been wanting to do for a while but that my odd commute schedule (and my own procrastination) has left either undone or unfinished.
Health is part of it. I signed up for some Barre classes thru Living Social and went to my first class this morning. It was tough...a mixture of flexibility and working muscles that don't usually get worked. But I enjoyed it - especially the patient, supportive approach of the instructor and all the other women there.
Although I've got more than my fair share of muscles, toning and strengthening certain ones (my butt, thru my abs, my thighs) has been elusive so I'm hoping that this will help. And I very very very much need to find something to help me get more flexible. Anyway, I expect to be doing this three times a week.
It was a very pretty day here and I wanted to avoid going near a mall, so I went for a nice long run/walk through downtown, over the bridge, and back. As I type this it's 7pm on a Saturday night and I should probably be getting ready to go out and do something festive. Instead, I just finished some tea, and some soup, and I'm in my PJ's. I'm pooped, and I suspect that I'll be in bed early this evening.
I went to see the movie "Lincoln" last night. I enjoyed it. I won't say it was my favorite movie of the year but it was certainly interesting and well-acted. It was timely, too, as watching the Republicans and Democrats fighting with one another over the 13th Amendment is very fiscal-cliff"esqe". Anyway....well done.
I don't see many movies coming out this month that I really want to see. Pity.
I'm not on a vacation-vacation. I mean, when I think of going on vacation there's a certain aspect of getting away and "doing" something. But the company I'm working for in Raleigh closes down as of today thru Jan. 2 so you couldn't work even if you wanted to. Thus, I'm on vacation at home.
I've got some plans for my vacation - one of which is to unplug as much as possible. Another is to rest. A third is simply to do some things I've been wanting to do for a while but that my odd commute schedule (and my own procrastination) has left either undone or unfinished.
Health is part of it. I signed up for some Barre classes thru Living Social and went to my first class this morning. It was tough...a mixture of flexibility and working muscles that don't usually get worked. But I enjoyed it - especially the patient, supportive approach of the instructor and all the other women there.
Although I've got more than my fair share of muscles, toning and strengthening certain ones (my butt, thru my abs, my thighs) has been elusive so I'm hoping that this will help. And I very very very much need to find something to help me get more flexible. Anyway, I expect to be doing this three times a week.
It was a very pretty day here and I wanted to avoid going near a mall, so I went for a nice long run/walk through downtown, over the bridge, and back. As I type this it's 7pm on a Saturday night and I should probably be getting ready to go out and do something festive. Instead, I just finished some tea, and some soup, and I'm in my PJ's. I'm pooped, and I suspect that I'll be in bed early this evening.
I went to see the movie "Lincoln" last night. I enjoyed it. I won't say it was my favorite movie of the year but it was certainly interesting and well-acted. It was timely, too, as watching the Republicans and Democrats fighting with one another over the 13th Amendment is very fiscal-cliff"esqe". Anyway....well done.
I don't see many movies coming out this month that I really want to see. Pity.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Goopy
So. It's 6:30am on end-of-the-world Friday and the world as we know it is still here. Shocker.
Today is the first day of winter. I'm just glad I live in a place where winter isn't really winter (or at least, not the way that I know winter). I made it back to Charleston yesterday before the storm got here and we had 50 mph winds last night but thankfully (a) it's not a blizzard and (b) I don't need to either fly or drive anywhere for a while. I know many in the middle of the country are not so lucky.
A "cold" front did pass thru and low temperatures tonight are forecast to fall into the twenties (wind chill in the teens) but no big deal there. Yawn.
In my last post I mentioned that people on FB are getting goopy. Let me explain...
There are a number of consistent topics at the moment:
* end of the world - Not
* guns
* fiscal cliff
* the fact that people you don't know will be able to send you messages for $1
* happiness over the holidays
* sadness over the holidays
All are certainly relevant and timely. But it can all be overwhelming.... Goopy.
I was in bed by 9 last night. In MY bed. Well...technically not my bed but the bed in MY apartment. I woke up at 2am....got up...got a sip of ginger ale...and went back to bed for another 4 hours. I needed the sleep. I hope to get lots of it over the next few days.
As for all this Fiscal Cliff stuff...11 days and counting. My own personal prediction is that we're going over it. Hold on. Our government is too dysfunctional to stop it, and it should have acted on it a long time ago. The fact that we are where we are is as much an indication of procrastination as dysfunction. Anyway....we'll see how it plays out.
With all that said....I'm going to bundle my little self up and walk down to the ocean. I need the spiritual deep breath it provides. Watching sunrise on the solstice is a special thing. :)
BREAK
So....this is the reflection of the solstice sunrise in some of the windows across the street from the ocean. I'll call it "Solstice Reflections". :)
I got to bundle up in my Columbia winter jacket that I bought to make it thru the winter in PA a few years ago. I don't get many opportunities to wear it (thankfully) and probably didn't need it this morning but it certainly kept me warm.
One other thing...
I stopped at Victoria's Secret last week because I had a credit there I needed to use. I've mentioned before that I buy all my bras there....they just fit me well. I typically buy what I'll call "practical" bras as well....everyday bras that are comfortable and that I can wear to work or with whatever. I like bras that have a little bit of lift...my girls like some lift...so Body By Victoria and I get along very well. I'll admit that I've got a couple of frilly, "fun" ones as well but I don't consider those to be practical. Anyway....
So, I have this credit and need to use it and was talking to the salesgirl. She brought me over to some new style that she said was a little of both - fun and practical. It's called "Bombshell", and says that it will add 2 cups to your size (see it here). I am the proud new owner of a black one of these things - just like the one in the photo if you clicked on that link. I have no idea how the scientists/architects/engineers or whatever you want to call the people who design bras are come up with these things, but it's actually pretty amazing. Putting this on is very comfortable, and truth be told it's a little embarrassing how big these things make my girls look. Anyway....I'm not really sure why I shared that, but there you go.
Time to begin the day!
Today is the first day of winter. I'm just glad I live in a place where winter isn't really winter (or at least, not the way that I know winter). I made it back to Charleston yesterday before the storm got here and we had 50 mph winds last night but thankfully (a) it's not a blizzard and (b) I don't need to either fly or drive anywhere for a while. I know many in the middle of the country are not so lucky.
A "cold" front did pass thru and low temperatures tonight are forecast to fall into the twenties (wind chill in the teens) but no big deal there. Yawn.
In my last post I mentioned that people on FB are getting goopy. Let me explain...
There are a number of consistent topics at the moment:
* end of the world - Not
* guns
* fiscal cliff
* the fact that people you don't know will be able to send you messages for $1
* happiness over the holidays
* sadness over the holidays
All are certainly relevant and timely. But it can all be overwhelming.... Goopy.
I was in bed by 9 last night. In MY bed. Well...technically not my bed but the bed in MY apartment. I woke up at 2am....got up...got a sip of ginger ale...and went back to bed for another 4 hours. I needed the sleep. I hope to get lots of it over the next few days.
As for all this Fiscal Cliff stuff...11 days and counting. My own personal prediction is that we're going over it. Hold on. Our government is too dysfunctional to stop it, and it should have acted on it a long time ago. The fact that we are where we are is as much an indication of procrastination as dysfunction. Anyway....we'll see how it plays out.
With all that said....I'm going to bundle my little self up and walk down to the ocean. I need the spiritual deep breath it provides. Watching sunrise on the solstice is a special thing. :)
BREAK
So....this is the reflection of the solstice sunrise in some of the windows across the street from the ocean. I'll call it "Solstice Reflections". :)
I got to bundle up in my Columbia winter jacket that I bought to make it thru the winter in PA a few years ago. I don't get many opportunities to wear it (thankfully) and probably didn't need it this morning but it certainly kept me warm.
One other thing...
I stopped at Victoria's Secret last week because I had a credit there I needed to use. I've mentioned before that I buy all my bras there....they just fit me well. I typically buy what I'll call "practical" bras as well....everyday bras that are comfortable and that I can wear to work or with whatever. I like bras that have a little bit of lift...my girls like some lift...so Body By Victoria and I get along very well. I'll admit that I've got a couple of frilly, "fun" ones as well but I don't consider those to be practical. Anyway....
So, I have this credit and need to use it and was talking to the salesgirl. She brought me over to some new style that she said was a little of both - fun and practical. It's called "Bombshell", and says that it will add 2 cups to your size (see it here). I am the proud new owner of a black one of these things - just like the one in the photo if you clicked on that link. I have no idea how the scientists/architects/engineers or whatever you want to call the people who design bras are come up with these things, but it's actually pretty amazing. Putting this on is very comfortable, and truth be told it's a little embarrassing how big these things make my girls look. Anyway....I'm not really sure why I shared that, but there you go.
Time to begin the day!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
No Pressure
12/19:
Today is my son's birthday. He's 27 years old. That's a trip.
It feels like being a parent to him was a lifetime ago. I suppose in some very real ways, it was. We haven't had the "family" thing in quite a while but no matter how many years go by he'll always be my little man.
When I talked with him earlier this morning I mentioned all those birthday parties where his little friends would come and we'd have to do the whole "party" thing. One year we had it at a Chuck E Cheese kind of place and I was ticked because the Bills had a playoff game that day. Us Buffalo Fans won't see another of those for a looonggggggg time.
His mom sent him a care package full of some "stuff", plus what he really wants. Cash. I didn't get so creative.....just a card and cash. I suspect he'll be happy whether or not there are extra shirts or socks stuffed into a box hiding the real present. Mine is just easier to find, and more to the point.
I'm in Raleigh - closing up some projects here before year-end shut down. The entire company closes starting Saturday thru Jan. 2 so I couldn't do work even if I wanted to. So, all the year-end stuff is getting done now like paperwork, tying off loose ends, finances....none of it fun but all of it necessary.
I've had a couple of friends write to talk about strategies for "surviving" the holidays. I don't know if I've got a strategy. Some years it was a week for healing, as any surgery I'd have I'd save for that week. I never, ever listen to Christmas music. Humbug on that. I typically won't watch anything on TV too overly Holiday-ish either. It's not because it brings me down - it's just that it really doesn't do anything for me either way.
Our group has adopted a "Secret Santa" thing where everyone put their names in a hat and chose someone for whom they will leave little gifts here and there. I chose not to participate so there's no pressure there.
People are getting all goopy on Facebook so I'm avoiding that. Instead I'm focusing on more positive pursuits.
The weather sometimes plays a part. A couple of years ago my mom wanted me to come and visit and a blizzard made flying back across the country tough.
Today, in fact, the nasty storm that has made its way across country is supposed to reach Raleigh and Charleston so I'll be leaving a little early in hopes of beating it. I'd prefer to play it safe.
Last year a highlight was a long bike ride, then dinner with some friends. I'd love a repeat, although the weather on Tuesday is looking kinda iffy so we'll see. All things considered....I look forward to this as down time....not pressure time.
I will admit that my wardrobe enjoys this time of year. It's when I replenish things. I'll be headed back to SouthPoint mall tonight and I already know a couple of places I need to visit - not for anyone else, but for me.
I've got some simple goals for my 10-days of shut-down. I want to migrate as much stuff off my old iMac onto my external hard drive as I can, and clean it up. Same is true for my laptop. I want to install Lightroom 4 and play with some of my photos. I want to play guitar each day. I want to do something physical each day - whether it be go for a walk, or a hike, or to the gym, or kayaking....I want to see 3 or 4 movies. There's some real and symbolic cleansing that needs to happen.
12/20
Ever since I signed up for Groupon and Living Social my in-basket gets tons of extra email. Since I travel as much as I do I get offers from both Charleston and Raliegh/Durham/Chapel Hill. It surprises me which ones will catch my interest and become impulse buys. I've recently done a couple of those and will share how they come out.
One that comes on every 6 weeks or so is the opportunity to do a skydiving thing. I'm going to sign up for that. I've got a "buddy" who says she wants to do it too but my confidence that she'll really take the step when it comes to jumping or not is not high.
I signed up for 4 Pure Barre classes in Charleston to tone my core. I'm actually looking forward to getting going on those.
That's the key - core strength. Your arms are one thing but shoulders, stomach, butt, trunk....those are critical for so many things. I'm actively trying to make more lean muscle so we'll see how this goes.
Speaking of birthdays - in 2 months and 2 days I'll turn 54 (God willing). Oy.
The storm making it's way across the central US is on it's way. I'll leave here at lunch time in hope of escaping most of it. At least rain is better than snow.
Today is my son's birthday. He's 27 years old. That's a trip.
It feels like being a parent to him was a lifetime ago. I suppose in some very real ways, it was. We haven't had the "family" thing in quite a while but no matter how many years go by he'll always be my little man.
When I talked with him earlier this morning I mentioned all those birthday parties where his little friends would come and we'd have to do the whole "party" thing. One year we had it at a Chuck E Cheese kind of place and I was ticked because the Bills had a playoff game that day. Us Buffalo Fans won't see another of those for a looonggggggg time.
His mom sent him a care package full of some "stuff", plus what he really wants. Cash. I didn't get so creative.....just a card and cash. I suspect he'll be happy whether or not there are extra shirts or socks stuffed into a box hiding the real present. Mine is just easier to find, and more to the point.
I'm in Raleigh - closing up some projects here before year-end shut down. The entire company closes starting Saturday thru Jan. 2 so I couldn't do work even if I wanted to. So, all the year-end stuff is getting done now like paperwork, tying off loose ends, finances....none of it fun but all of it necessary.
I've had a couple of friends write to talk about strategies for "surviving" the holidays. I don't know if I've got a strategy. Some years it was a week for healing, as any surgery I'd have I'd save for that week. I never, ever listen to Christmas music. Humbug on that. I typically won't watch anything on TV too overly Holiday-ish either. It's not because it brings me down - it's just that it really doesn't do anything for me either way.
Our group has adopted a "Secret Santa" thing where everyone put their names in a hat and chose someone for whom they will leave little gifts here and there. I chose not to participate so there's no pressure there.
People are getting all goopy on Facebook so I'm avoiding that. Instead I'm focusing on more positive pursuits.
The weather sometimes plays a part. A couple of years ago my mom wanted me to come and visit and a blizzard made flying back across the country tough.
Today, in fact, the nasty storm that has made its way across country is supposed to reach Raleigh and Charleston so I'll be leaving a little early in hopes of beating it. I'd prefer to play it safe.
Last year a highlight was a long bike ride, then dinner with some friends. I'd love a repeat, although the weather on Tuesday is looking kinda iffy so we'll see. All things considered....I look forward to this as down time....not pressure time.
I will admit that my wardrobe enjoys this time of year. It's when I replenish things. I'll be headed back to SouthPoint mall tonight and I already know a couple of places I need to visit - not for anyone else, but for me.
I've got some simple goals for my 10-days of shut-down. I want to migrate as much stuff off my old iMac onto my external hard drive as I can, and clean it up. Same is true for my laptop. I want to install Lightroom 4 and play with some of my photos. I want to play guitar each day. I want to do something physical each day - whether it be go for a walk, or a hike, or to the gym, or kayaking....I want to see 3 or 4 movies. There's some real and symbolic cleansing that needs to happen.
12/20
Ever since I signed up for Groupon and Living Social my in-basket gets tons of extra email. Since I travel as much as I do I get offers from both Charleston and Raliegh/Durham/Chapel Hill. It surprises me which ones will catch my interest and become impulse buys. I've recently done a couple of those and will share how they come out.
One that comes on every 6 weeks or so is the opportunity to do a skydiving thing. I'm going to sign up for that. I've got a "buddy" who says she wants to do it too but my confidence that she'll really take the step when it comes to jumping or not is not high.
I signed up for 4 Pure Barre classes in Charleston to tone my core. I'm actually looking forward to getting going on those.
That's the key - core strength. Your arms are one thing but shoulders, stomach, butt, trunk....those are critical for so many things. I'm actively trying to make more lean muscle so we'll see how this goes.
Speaking of birthdays - in 2 months and 2 days I'll turn 54 (God willing). Oy.
The storm making it's way across the central US is on it's way. I'll leave here at lunch time in hope of escaping most of it. At least rain is better than snow.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Lightning, then calm.
A loud peel of thunder just made it's way down my street. A bright light, followed by an immediate rrrrriiiipppppp-boooooooom! Now, it's raining and the thunder and lightning is much more "normal". Ironically, I was waiting for my power to flicker off and I got a note on my iPhone saying there's a Severe Thunderstorm Warning. Um. I know.
I'm in Charleston, today. I can hardly walk. On Saturday I decided to start working some muscles I haven't focused on in a while. My calfs. So now that I'm focusing on my legs more I spent some time working my calves. And, in my "go big or go home" kinda way I apparently overdid it. It didn't hurt yesterday. But today? Oh my God. It feels like knives stabbing them. I spent a half hour massaging them and that helped a little. It has made me realize that one thing I don't have here is a bathtub.
It's surreal that next week today will be Christmas Eve. Between now and then I'll drive to Raleigh for 3 days and back, and the weekend will be another weekend. My son's birthday is the day after tomorrow. He'll be 27. 27 friggin years old!! Then 15th anniversary of my dad's death is the end of next week. He's been gone for 15 years. My dad. How can that be?
It seems we always talk about the passage of time. But starting now - as in - this week - thru the end of the year - my life becomes full of life anniversaries that have helped to shape me in very profound, ways.
I change during the Holidays. I know I do. And I apologize in advance to anyone I might bite between now and then. I become fairly solitary. I turn inwards. I don't let the way that other people choose to celebrate it derail my own experience of it. I realize that the Holidays can be tough and I've come to peace that it is fitting to end the year with these kinds of quiet, reflective, opportunities.
I haven't even left yet and I'm already looking forward to getting home and nesting on Thursday.
Anyways, the storm has passed. Things are quiet again in downtown Charleston. I'll need to start packing for my trip, I'll watch a little TV, and I'll be in bed by 9 or 9:30. I'll be on the road by 5:30 in the morning, so 12 hours from now comes quickly. Too quickly. Time doesn't slow down for any of us....
I was thinking the other night about what I'm missing in life right now. I miss my mom's fruit cake. I realize that there's a negative "aura" to fruit cake but my mom used her grand-mother's recipe and for years her cakes were definitive of of Christmas for me.
I miss my sister's Christmas cookies. The closest I've had recently was one that a friend's daughter made but these aren't things you can buy. There's something more to it than that. I may spend some time on Christmas making some of my own.
Some things don't seem to change. For example, I graduated from Syracuse University in 1981 in in all my years there we had one head basketball coach. Jim Boeheim. Well, Jim is still there - still doing what he did all those years ago. He has coached athletes there, and then eventually coached their sons. As he closes in on 900 victories, and eventually becomes the winningest coach in NCAA basketball history he remains one of those reminders that some things can and do last. SU has moved up to #3 in the most recent coaches poll and we're currently playing Detroit. Go 'Cuse!
Another interesting thing....my skin. For all the years I didn't take care of my face you'd think it'd be a mess at this stage of life. It's not. There's not a day go by that I don't moisturize now - it's just part of getting ready for the day - and I'm constantly amazed at how smooth it is. That said, age is certainly taking a toll on it and if I do have one more "procedure" left it'll be to tighten up the extra skin that covered all the facial bone that was removed.
I watched the president's remarks at the Elementary School where the kids were slaughtered in CT yesterday. He is incredibly eloquent, and both his words and the way he said them really hit home. As I said in my original post on the subject I find these things to be symptoms of much deeper problems and I hold out hope that we, collectively, have those discussions. I perceive the current discussion on gun control as the solution as a knee-jerk, simplistic, reaction.
As a gun owner myself I certainly have feelings on the issue, but I'm far from what I'd consider to be a radical in that regard. Watching some of the current conversations on FB on that particular issue is very heated....I'm not wading into any of that. One of my own ironies is that I don't think that I'd own one if I weren't trans. I was never around them growing up, and actually I never felt vulnerable before. At my first support group meeting a number of the girls were discussing that fact and it scared me a little bit. Now, I get it.
I believe that if someone gets it in their mind to do something horrible - they'll find a way. Part of that is the price we pay for some of the freedoms we enjoy.
Back to the main theme....time happens. It's a constant. I'm committed to ensuring that I make the most of the time I've got. My bucket list is very real, and my biggest goal for 2013 is to got to Europe. The rest....well, we'll see how it unfolds.
I'm in Charleston, today. I can hardly walk. On Saturday I decided to start working some muscles I haven't focused on in a while. My calfs. So now that I'm focusing on my legs more I spent some time working my calves. And, in my "go big or go home" kinda way I apparently overdid it. It didn't hurt yesterday. But today? Oh my God. It feels like knives stabbing them. I spent a half hour massaging them and that helped a little. It has made me realize that one thing I don't have here is a bathtub.
It's surreal that next week today will be Christmas Eve. Between now and then I'll drive to Raleigh for 3 days and back, and the weekend will be another weekend. My son's birthday is the day after tomorrow. He'll be 27. 27 friggin years old!! Then 15th anniversary of my dad's death is the end of next week. He's been gone for 15 years. My dad. How can that be?
It seems we always talk about the passage of time. But starting now - as in - this week - thru the end of the year - my life becomes full of life anniversaries that have helped to shape me in very profound, ways.
I change during the Holidays. I know I do. And I apologize in advance to anyone I might bite between now and then. I become fairly solitary. I turn inwards. I don't let the way that other people choose to celebrate it derail my own experience of it. I realize that the Holidays can be tough and I've come to peace that it is fitting to end the year with these kinds of quiet, reflective, opportunities.
I haven't even left yet and I'm already looking forward to getting home and nesting on Thursday.
Anyways, the storm has passed. Things are quiet again in downtown Charleston. I'll need to start packing for my trip, I'll watch a little TV, and I'll be in bed by 9 or 9:30. I'll be on the road by 5:30 in the morning, so 12 hours from now comes quickly. Too quickly. Time doesn't slow down for any of us....
I was thinking the other night about what I'm missing in life right now. I miss my mom's fruit cake. I realize that there's a negative "aura" to fruit cake but my mom used her grand-mother's recipe and for years her cakes were definitive of of Christmas for me.
I miss my sister's Christmas cookies. The closest I've had recently was one that a friend's daughter made but these aren't things you can buy. There's something more to it than that. I may spend some time on Christmas making some of my own.
Some things don't seem to change. For example, I graduated from Syracuse University in 1981 in in all my years there we had one head basketball coach. Jim Boeheim. Well, Jim is still there - still doing what he did all those years ago. He has coached athletes there, and then eventually coached their sons. As he closes in on 900 victories, and eventually becomes the winningest coach in NCAA basketball history he remains one of those reminders that some things can and do last. SU has moved up to #3 in the most recent coaches poll and we're currently playing Detroit. Go 'Cuse!
Another interesting thing....my skin. For all the years I didn't take care of my face you'd think it'd be a mess at this stage of life. It's not. There's not a day go by that I don't moisturize now - it's just part of getting ready for the day - and I'm constantly amazed at how smooth it is. That said, age is certainly taking a toll on it and if I do have one more "procedure" left it'll be to tighten up the extra skin that covered all the facial bone that was removed.
I watched the president's remarks at the Elementary School where the kids were slaughtered in CT yesterday. He is incredibly eloquent, and both his words and the way he said them really hit home. As I said in my original post on the subject I find these things to be symptoms of much deeper problems and I hold out hope that we, collectively, have those discussions. I perceive the current discussion on gun control as the solution as a knee-jerk, simplistic, reaction.
As a gun owner myself I certainly have feelings on the issue, but I'm far from what I'd consider to be a radical in that regard. Watching some of the current conversations on FB on that particular issue is very heated....I'm not wading into any of that. One of my own ironies is that I don't think that I'd own one if I weren't trans. I was never around them growing up, and actually I never felt vulnerable before. At my first support group meeting a number of the girls were discussing that fact and it scared me a little bit. Now, I get it.
I believe that if someone gets it in their mind to do something horrible - they'll find a way. Part of that is the price we pay for some of the freedoms we enjoy.
Back to the main theme....time happens. It's a constant. I'm committed to ensuring that I make the most of the time I've got. My bucket list is very real, and my biggest goal for 2013 is to got to Europe. The rest....well, we'll see how it unfolds.
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