It's 2am. I've got 2 dogs sleeping on the king size bed here at the hotel with me. I should be sleeping, too.
The oddest thing happened tonight. I went out for dinner and got back to my hotel by 7. But I was overcome with fatigue and just lay down. And I slept for 5 hours. The good news is that it was good sleep. The bad news is, well, here it is 2am and I'm awake. I'm hopeful of still getting 3 or 4 more hours of sleep tonight.
As I mentioned last time, the CNN piece dropped today. It's a topic that generates quite a bit of passion and I'm told by people who have waded into the comments that it's pretty ugly. I expected that. As I also mentioned, I don't look at the comments because it makes me crazy.
Late this afternoon CNN emailed me and asked if I would answer some of the questions being asked, or address some of the themes in the comments. I responded by saying that they'd need have someone dig through the comments for common themes as I wasn't going to head down that path. They agreed, and sent some questions along with associated comments. I should be answering the questions right now. Instead, I'm writing here and I'll be going back to bed in a moment.
This is my last day at work on this contract. I actually enjoy contract work for this very reason - I like things that end. There is a specific duration to the contract, and once it's done the option to continue may be there but the reason that an organization needed to supplement its workforce with someone has been addressed. It can make for a fairly tumultuous life, but I've done it for the better part of 30 years and I've found it suits me.
I've enjoyed the work here. I'm met some people I hope to stay in touch with. My projects were all successful, and we part on good terms which is as it should be. But now it's time to get some continuity back home. That's my biggest need right now.
My second biggest need is to get back to sleep, so I'm going to try. We'll see how it goes. :)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The storm, and the calm.
Yesterday was one of those days you just need to get thru. I was up at 3, had both wet dogs in the truck and on the road by 4, long wet rainy drive to Raleigh but made my 9am meeting, dogs stuck in the truck, pouring, and finally letting up after work. Wet, soggy, cold. damp - it was just one of those "yuck" days where it's nice to sit in front of a fire or go to the movies all day long.
The pups really didn't seem to mind, tho....Road warriors just like me. These dogs are troopers, and they've experienced these things before so they've learned to take things in stride.
With yesterday's soaking rains, this became the wettest February on record in Charleston (story here). We've had well over ten inches of the wet stuff. I'm interested to see how that affects our spring, as spring blooms last year happened way in advance of the year before. I remember a time, living in AZ, when we'd average 4 inches of rain for an entire year.
None of this is a complaint, mind you. It's just the way it is. I'd rather have ten inches of rain and zero inches of snow than the other way around. I'm thrilled to death that our daily temperature highs are typically closer to 60 than to 20. It has snowed three or four times in Raleigh, but thankfully I haven't been around to actually see that.
I'm fascinated with a recent story about the Yahoo CEO's edict to end tellecommuting at the company (story here). That's the exact reason why my contract is ending this week.
There has been quite a bit of strong reaction to it (one example). I wouldn't be surprised to see a bit of a backtrack on it sometime over the next week or so now that it has had the chance to land with a thud.
For me, our original agreement of actually being in Raleigh on Tues-Wed-Thu provided the flexibility that made this commute tolerable. When asked to make it a traditional 5-day week here, the decision was an easy one. I'm happy to say that when I leave the office for the last time on Friday to drive home to Charleston we'll still be on good terms.
In the meantime, this week I'm training the PM who will be replacing me. I suspect that Yahoo will be going through similar trainings....
It all gets back to that same thing: Balance. I don't think I'd want to telecommute every day. But at the same time I need some flexibility to manage my life. Until recently things here had balanced well. But things change, so it's time to go home.
I'm already looking at exciting things to do. A certain someone and I are going to start taking SCUBA lessons and get certified now that my schedule is more settled. We've been talking about that for a while but the blocker has been my ability to be at home over the days of the classes. There are a number of photo Meetup Groups that I'm part of but I can rarely make the meetings because they're on nights that I'm typically gone. I'm looking forward to putting more stability into my world....both for my own sake and for the pups.
A more daunting reality is that trans people typically have difficulty getting jobs (see recent CNN story) and I'm not immune to that. I haven't had "the discussion" with anyone here at work but I'm not naive enough to believe that nobody knows. In fact, I couldn't care less. However, I'm also not naive enough to believe that learning about my past hasn't played had significant impacts on my career.
That is the very reason that I was and remain so passionate about ENDA. The barriers many of us have to face to get and keep a job are the very reasons it's hard to get and keep our head above the water. It is more than an assault on our employability - it is an assault on our personhood. Anyway - I need to get off the soapbox. I'm in too good a mood to get my blood-pressure up.
Speaking of blood pressure up, my friends at CNN wrote to me and asked if I wanted to comment on a story they're currently running that's apparently generating quite the reaction. The parents of a first-grade trans girl in Colorado filed a complaint with the state Human Rights Commission because their daughter is not being allowed to use the girls bathroom (story here).
I get these requests at, like, noon, and have a couple or three hours to write something. Typical length is 600-800 words. Anyway, I wrote the first thing that came to my mind and sent it off. They're happy with it, so I suspect that will be published by this time tomorrow. As usual, I won't read any of the comments. I've learned that the hard way.
In the meantime, tomorrow is my second last day on this project. As a contract worker beginnings and endings are part of the territory. In a way, reaching them is actually a relief.
The pups really didn't seem to mind, tho....Road warriors just like me. These dogs are troopers, and they've experienced these things before so they've learned to take things in stride.
With yesterday's soaking rains, this became the wettest February on record in Charleston (story here). We've had well over ten inches of the wet stuff. I'm interested to see how that affects our spring, as spring blooms last year happened way in advance of the year before. I remember a time, living in AZ, when we'd average 4 inches of rain for an entire year.
None of this is a complaint, mind you. It's just the way it is. I'd rather have ten inches of rain and zero inches of snow than the other way around. I'm thrilled to death that our daily temperature highs are typically closer to 60 than to 20. It has snowed three or four times in Raleigh, but thankfully I haven't been around to actually see that.
I'm fascinated with a recent story about the Yahoo CEO's edict to end tellecommuting at the company (story here). That's the exact reason why my contract is ending this week.
There has been quite a bit of strong reaction to it (one example). I wouldn't be surprised to see a bit of a backtrack on it sometime over the next week or so now that it has had the chance to land with a thud.
For me, our original agreement of actually being in Raleigh on Tues-Wed-Thu provided the flexibility that made this commute tolerable. When asked to make it a traditional 5-day week here, the decision was an easy one. I'm happy to say that when I leave the office for the last time on Friday to drive home to Charleston we'll still be on good terms.
In the meantime, this week I'm training the PM who will be replacing me. I suspect that Yahoo will be going through similar trainings....
It all gets back to that same thing: Balance. I don't think I'd want to telecommute every day. But at the same time I need some flexibility to manage my life. Until recently things here had balanced well. But things change, so it's time to go home.
I'm already looking at exciting things to do. A certain someone and I are going to start taking SCUBA lessons and get certified now that my schedule is more settled. We've been talking about that for a while but the blocker has been my ability to be at home over the days of the classes. There are a number of photo Meetup Groups that I'm part of but I can rarely make the meetings because they're on nights that I'm typically gone. I'm looking forward to putting more stability into my world....both for my own sake and for the pups.
A more daunting reality is that trans people typically have difficulty getting jobs (see recent CNN story) and I'm not immune to that. I haven't had "the discussion" with anyone here at work but I'm not naive enough to believe that nobody knows. In fact, I couldn't care less. However, I'm also not naive enough to believe that learning about my past hasn't played had significant impacts on my career.
That is the very reason that I was and remain so passionate about ENDA. The barriers many of us have to face to get and keep a job are the very reasons it's hard to get and keep our head above the water. It is more than an assault on our employability - it is an assault on our personhood. Anyway - I need to get off the soapbox. I'm in too good a mood to get my blood-pressure up.
Speaking of blood pressure up, my friends at CNN wrote to me and asked if I wanted to comment on a story they're currently running that's apparently generating quite the reaction. The parents of a first-grade trans girl in Colorado filed a complaint with the state Human Rights Commission because their daughter is not being allowed to use the girls bathroom (story here).
I get these requests at, like, noon, and have a couple or three hours to write something. Typical length is 600-800 words. Anyway, I wrote the first thing that came to my mind and sent it off. They're happy with it, so I suspect that will be published by this time tomorrow. As usual, I won't read any of the comments. I've learned that the hard way.
In the meantime, tomorrow is my second last day on this project. As a contract worker beginnings and endings are part of the territory. In a way, reaching them is actually a relief.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Walls
The pups and I will be up early in the morning for our last drive to Raleigh. I'm turning over my remaining projects, and then I'll be done. I would have preferred to do this without getting the dogs involved but there's no other way. Thankfully, we stay at "dog friendly" hotels and they're pretty accustomed to traveling. But it's a drag to keep them cooped up in a hotel (or, in my truck) all day.
One of the themes I touched on in my last post was the trait to be willing to do what it takes to get something done. Frankly, I think it's a rarer trait than many of us realize as many people spend way too much time waffling and not enough time doing. Although I could name a number of down-sides to the "do-what-it-takes" mentality I'm willing to accept them for the sake of actually getting things done. Everything has down sides. And, "down" is typically in the eye of the beholder far more than an absolute.
My son is going thru one of those right now. He has decided to relocated to Boulder, CO. He doesn't know a soul there, he just drive thru that blizzard, but he has made a decision so he's going to make it happen. I'm actually a little nervous for him about it, but then again no matter how old our kids get we never stop being "parents".
The good news from my melanoma check today is that there isn't anything that appears worrisome. The one piece of "eh" news is that apparently I've got a cyst the size of a walnut on my back somewhere so I'll be headed back in a couple of weeks to have that excised.
I recently went to see the new Die Hard movie. I'll be honest - I've enjoyed all the Die Hard movies except one. And I thought the last one was one of the best. Anyway, I realize that it may not be a hit with critics (most seem to hate it) we're not embarrassed to admit that we both enjoyed it (although I can't speak for the one other guy in the theater while we were there). It was just kinda "fun", and that's one of the reasons we go to the movies for. I stopped gauging which movies to go see by what the critics think a long time ago.
Speaking of movies - I was in bed before the Oscars got underway last night but was glad to see that the actress from Silver Lining Playbook won the Oscar for best actress. That was still my most favorite movie of last year, and she was great. I watched her post-Oscar interview, and she seems as genuine in person as she appears on screen (link here).
Lastly - back to the dueling "Romance" discussions I've had recently - it's important to realize that I've got some very effective walls and it takes a lot for them to come down. Sometimes I'll provide a peek at what's behind the walls, but the reality of it is that "walls" are an important component of self-preservation. I could spend an hour talking about walls....different kinds of walls, built for different reasons....but suffice it to say that I know these things about myself and I'm comfortable with them. Just because something is part of a "wall" doesn't make it any less real. If anything - it can make it "more" real because sometimes the wall is there in the first place is that it's something we're sensitive about.
Anyway - my walls are a constant Yin/Yang of push and pull, of moving, of trying to make sense of things. Like many things in these entries some will scratch their heads at that. Others will consider it as psycho-babble. And others....well, you'll get it without more explanation.
Oh - one last thing for tonight. I'm going to be the PRIDE month keynote speaker for the CIA. I'm looking forward to that. :)
One of the themes I touched on in my last post was the trait to be willing to do what it takes to get something done. Frankly, I think it's a rarer trait than many of us realize as many people spend way too much time waffling and not enough time doing. Although I could name a number of down-sides to the "do-what-it-takes" mentality I'm willing to accept them for the sake of actually getting things done. Everything has down sides. And, "down" is typically in the eye of the beholder far more than an absolute.
My son is going thru one of those right now. He has decided to relocated to Boulder, CO. He doesn't know a soul there, he just drive thru that blizzard, but he has made a decision so he's going to make it happen. I'm actually a little nervous for him about it, but then again no matter how old our kids get we never stop being "parents".
The good news from my melanoma check today is that there isn't anything that appears worrisome. The one piece of "eh" news is that apparently I've got a cyst the size of a walnut on my back somewhere so I'll be headed back in a couple of weeks to have that excised.
I recently went to see the new Die Hard movie. I'll be honest - I've enjoyed all the Die Hard movies except one. And I thought the last one was one of the best. Anyway, I realize that it may not be a hit with critics (most seem to hate it) we're not embarrassed to admit that we both enjoyed it (although I can't speak for the one other guy in the theater while we were there). It was just kinda "fun", and that's one of the reasons we go to the movies for. I stopped gauging which movies to go see by what the critics think a long time ago.
Speaking of movies - I was in bed before the Oscars got underway last night but was glad to see that the actress from Silver Lining Playbook won the Oscar for best actress. That was still my most favorite movie of last year, and she was great. I watched her post-Oscar interview, and she seems as genuine in person as she appears on screen (link here).
Lastly - back to the dueling "Romance" discussions I've had recently - it's important to realize that I've got some very effective walls and it takes a lot for them to come down. Sometimes I'll provide a peek at what's behind the walls, but the reality of it is that "walls" are an important component of self-preservation. I could spend an hour talking about walls....different kinds of walls, built for different reasons....but suffice it to say that I know these things about myself and I'm comfortable with them. Just because something is part of a "wall" doesn't make it any less real. If anything - it can make it "more" real because sometimes the wall is there in the first place is that it's something we're sensitive about.
Anyway - my walls are a constant Yin/Yang of push and pull, of moving, of trying to make sense of things. Like many things in these entries some will scratch their heads at that. Others will consider it as psycho-babble. And others....well, you'll get it without more explanation.
Oh - one last thing for tonight. I'm going to be the PRIDE month keynote speaker for the CIA. I'm looking forward to that. :)
Sunday, February 24, 2013
The other side of the coin
It has been a little less than a week since my last entry. I can't believe that, as so much has happened in that time that I struggle to even remember it all.
The most significant effort over these last few days was my birthday-day drive from here to Little Rock, AR. 850 miles. The older I get, the harder it is to do these kinds of one-day drives, and by the time I got there it was great to see my son and pups but I was wiped out. One night of sleep didn't make things much better so getting back into the car, that time with both pups, to do it all in reverse yesterday morning just added to it all.
And by the time we arrived this morning I was physically and mentally running on E. Not good.
There were several good parts. It was great to see my son. The last time I saw him was on my cross-country trip in May or June of last year. He's looking good, and making some significant changes in his own life.
It was great to see the pups. The last time I had all the pups living with me was when I lived in central PA a couple of years ago. Since then my son has had one or both of them so this is the first time we've all been "reunited" in a long time. The logistics of how all this is going to work still eludes me....but I'm sure I'll work it out. I always find a way.
To top it all off I have my bi-annual dermatologist appointment to check for a return of my melanoma tomorrow morning. I go into these things with a "it is what it is" attitude, but I'm sure there is some sort of emotional energy drain there, too.
And, my last day at work in Raleigh is on Friday. When it rains is pours, I suppose, but even for those of us accustomed to life change would prefer a more measured dose. This is a lot, all at once. I've already come to peace with the fact that it's going to take me a little while to get used to it all and how it's going to affect my life.
I work up this morning with a big, hairy body next to me. I took me a moment to realize one of the pups. I'm not used to fighting for bed-space.
I also wanted to revisit something I posted on a recent entry about romance. I think I've developed a bit of a Jeckyl/Hyde mentality when it comes to romance and the Nine Inch Nails song is something that's one side of the coin, and it's certainly valid. But I don't want to paint a picture where I'm some emotionally bankrupt romance-less soul. I consider myself to be passionate, and passion is a complicated emotion. I heard a recent song I find represents the "other" side of my romance coin:
If I could articulate the emotions that are important to me, this song would be the result.
The most significant effort over these last few days was my birthday-day drive from here to Little Rock, AR. 850 miles. The older I get, the harder it is to do these kinds of one-day drives, and by the time I got there it was great to see my son and pups but I was wiped out. One night of sleep didn't make things much better so getting back into the car, that time with both pups, to do it all in reverse yesterday morning just added to it all.
And by the time we arrived this morning I was physically and mentally running on E. Not good.
There were several good parts. It was great to see my son. The last time I saw him was on my cross-country trip in May or June of last year. He's looking good, and making some significant changes in his own life.
It was great to see the pups. The last time I had all the pups living with me was when I lived in central PA a couple of years ago. Since then my son has had one or both of them so this is the first time we've all been "reunited" in a long time. The logistics of how all this is going to work still eludes me....but I'm sure I'll work it out. I always find a way.
To top it all off I have my bi-annual dermatologist appointment to check for a return of my melanoma tomorrow morning. I go into these things with a "it is what it is" attitude, but I'm sure there is some sort of emotional energy drain there, too.
And, my last day at work in Raleigh is on Friday. When it rains is pours, I suppose, but even for those of us accustomed to life change would prefer a more measured dose. This is a lot, all at once. I've already come to peace with the fact that it's going to take me a little while to get used to it all and how it's going to affect my life.
I work up this morning with a big, hairy body next to me. I took me a moment to realize one of the pups. I'm not used to fighting for bed-space.
I also wanted to revisit something I posted on a recent entry about romance. I think I've developed a bit of a Jeckyl/Hyde mentality when it comes to romance and the Nine Inch Nails song is something that's one side of the coin, and it's certainly valid. But I don't want to paint a picture where I'm some emotionally bankrupt romance-less soul. I consider myself to be passionate, and passion is a complicated emotion. I heard a recent song I find represents the "other" side of my romance coin:
If I could articulate the emotions that are important to me, this song would be the result.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Romantic
I know it might not be apparent to those who don't look deep below the surface, but I'm still a romantic at heart. I'm not talking about hopeless romantics, or some kind of version of high school romance. I'm talking about mature romance that sometimes transcends relationships. Often, it's the simple things that embody my vision of "romance"....like holding hands, or simple kissing....rather than any grand gesture where the ultimate goal isn't romance. It's simply sex. I'll take romance over simply sex any day of the week.
I've got a lot of big things coming up. I just told someone that I wish that I could go to sleep and wake up two weeks from now, with everything that needs to happen between now and then all taken care of. I think they call that kind of "sleep" a coma, and I suspect I'll be awake for more of what's going to happen than I really want to.
I'm on the cusp of some significant changes. I've already mentioned that my contract is ending as of the end of next week so this particular crazy commute will be over, as well. With gas prices zooming up (they've gone up 17 cents here in the last week!) it's probably a good thing. But I've got at least one and maybe two cross-country drives in my near future and that's not going to be fun.
One of the things that a certain someone and I share is a trait whereby we simply do what needs to be done. We don't complain too much. We don't dilly dally. We make decisions and then we do. In this case I've got some things that need to be done and I could moan about some of it for an hour. There's a good chance that I'll spend my birthday night later this week in a hotel somewhere in Louisiana. But I've got an obligation that I need to honor so despite the fact that it complicates life right now I need to do what I need to do.
I can remember a half dozen recent birthdays of being on the road to or from somewhere. None in recent memory top my birthday when I turned 50 but I don't look at birthdays that way. It's just another day....it marks another year that I've been on this earth. As we've talked about many times in the past it's not how long you're here that matters most....it's what you do with the time.
Today is Tuesday - so I was up at my usual ridiculous hour and I drove my usual 300 miles to get to work. I'm actually in pretty good spirits, although I've got a big headache right now. I'm not sure if it's the new BP meds, or the rain, or the stress, or what....but I'll be headed to my hotel shortly and hope to curl up in a little ball for a few hours.
I had my annual birthday physical yesterday and all seems to be well. Funny thing is that in previous years I'm typically in tip/top shape in February and there are often issues of one kind or another. This year I haven't had the time to get to the gym in weeks and my readings were the best they've been in years. Go figure. I've got an appointment with a dermatologist on Monday to do the close examination of my skin for any sign of another melanoma. I'm not too worried, but then again when they found one on me 4 years ago I wasn't worried about it then either.
Anyway - life changes on the way. That's true for all of us, I suppose, but here we go again. I like to think there's an ultimate purpose for all of this. But then again, I think that's the romantic in me speaking....
I've got a lot of big things coming up. I just told someone that I wish that I could go to sleep and wake up two weeks from now, with everything that needs to happen between now and then all taken care of. I think they call that kind of "sleep" a coma, and I suspect I'll be awake for more of what's going to happen than I really want to.
I'm on the cusp of some significant changes. I've already mentioned that my contract is ending as of the end of next week so this particular crazy commute will be over, as well. With gas prices zooming up (they've gone up 17 cents here in the last week!) it's probably a good thing. But I've got at least one and maybe two cross-country drives in my near future and that's not going to be fun.
One of the things that a certain someone and I share is a trait whereby we simply do what needs to be done. We don't complain too much. We don't dilly dally. We make decisions and then we do. In this case I've got some things that need to be done and I could moan about some of it for an hour. There's a good chance that I'll spend my birthday night later this week in a hotel somewhere in Louisiana. But I've got an obligation that I need to honor so despite the fact that it complicates life right now I need to do what I need to do.
I can remember a half dozen recent birthdays of being on the road to or from somewhere. None in recent memory top my birthday when I turned 50 but I don't look at birthdays that way. It's just another day....it marks another year that I've been on this earth. As we've talked about many times in the past it's not how long you're here that matters most....it's what you do with the time.
Today is Tuesday - so I was up at my usual ridiculous hour and I drove my usual 300 miles to get to work. I'm actually in pretty good spirits, although I've got a big headache right now. I'm not sure if it's the new BP meds, or the rain, or the stress, or what....but I'll be headed to my hotel shortly and hope to curl up in a little ball for a few hours.
I had my annual birthday physical yesterday and all seems to be well. Funny thing is that in previous years I'm typically in tip/top shape in February and there are often issues of one kind or another. This year I haven't had the time to get to the gym in weeks and my readings were the best they've been in years. Go figure. I've got an appointment with a dermatologist on Monday to do the close examination of my skin for any sign of another melanoma. I'm not too worried, but then again when they found one on me 4 years ago I wasn't worried about it then either.
Anyway - life changes on the way. That's true for all of us, I suppose, but here we go again. I like to think there's an ultimate purpose for all of this. But then again, I think that's the romantic in me speaking....
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Chain
The good news is that my blood is good. At least, the readings are good. The doctor sent them to me on Friday and I've got my annual physical tomorrow to discuss them. For years my annual physical was simply a non-event. Now that I'm at this stage of life - ya just never know.
Over the past several days I put 1,400 miles on my trip for a "quick" trip to Miami to spend a couple of days at the boat show there. It rained the entire way down. Friday produced the most rain they've had in Miami in any single day this year so we spent our time at the Convention Center, and yesterday - well - it was beautiful so we spend it visiting the Sailboats. That was the main reason for the trip.
I've never been to a boat show before. At least, not a show like this one. It was huge. It filled the entire Miami Beach Convention Center, and covered two of the large Marinas. I have no idea how many thousands of people typically attend these things but it was sufficiently overwhelming to this admitted neophyte.
The reasons of the trip were twofold. One was to gather as much information as possible from our couple of days at the convention. We had a blast in that regard, and came back with lots of information and we made many good connections.
The second was simply to adventure together - doing things I doubt each of us would do alone. We had a blast in that regard, as well.
An unexpected result was being reunited with a very dear old friend. My friend, Amanda, was the first trans woman that I met in Phoenix. I was introduced to her through our electrologist, Maria, who continues to be a dear friend for both of us. Maria had a knack of connecting transitioning girls with others she thought would make good friends, and she was generally dead-on in her connections.
Anyway, I'll never forget getting Amanda's phone number and giving her mine, and hearing her leave me a voice message in my little apartment. We grew to be good friends, and she eventually even moved in with me for some period of time. She was a beginning activist, and I remember many a conversation of my belief that my own path would not lead me in a similar direction. I could not have been more wrong.
Eventually Amanda met a girl, and the two of them moved out of state. We lost touch with her for years. Until last year.
So, it has been a dozen years since I have seen her. Until yesterday.
Our time together yesterday was relatively short. She was working the boat show, and although we planned on meeting for dinner I got a call from the hotel saying that I had left my iPad there when we checked out that morning so plans changed and dinner never happened. But I suspect our paths will cross again sooner rather than later - it will not be another dozen years before we meet up again. It is truly wonderful to reunite with people who played significant roles in our lives at some point later on. She will always be a "Big Sister" for me. And for that, I will forever be grateful.
I doubt many people stop to think about the importance of finding "big brothers" or "big sisters". Some stay in our lives for some period of time - others stay for a lifetime. But their impact never goes away.
I can name a half dozen people, or more, who played a role as a big brother or sister for me in those early days. And I suppose I've played that role for a number of little brothers and sisters, who have paid it forward themselves. I have come to understand that we are all part of a chain of learning and sharing.
Meeting with Amanda has made me a bit nostalgic, I think. As I get ready for bed tonight I have taken out some old photographs from those early days. I will do something useful with them - stay tuned for that.
I also have a unique proof sheet of shots we took the day we took perhaps my most well-known early photo, from 2003.
As the photo shoot progressed we got more and more playful, and by the end I wanted some shots while wearing a blazer and a pearl necklace, holding some roses, and nothing more. Here's one of the tame ones.
Although I think they're very tastefully done, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the most prominent aspects of the last of these black and white photos are my breasts. I'd love to share them because I'm not ashamed of them at all. At the time, it was a celebration of my body combined with the opportunity to do it in what I considered an elegant way....it's just that I'm not sure what would be "appropriate"....
Anyway - this boat show was a connection to both my past and my future. I can feel it. I don't know how many times things like this happen in our lives. So as special as the trip was in several ways - the true importance of it all will become apparent once some time has passed...
Anyways - back to this past weekend. I'm not feeling all that well - some sort of a cold that seems to be a result of my travels between Charleston and Raleigh. But I've been drinking tea, and taking Tylenol, and a certain someone took good care of me. I slept well and although it might sound like driving as far as we did and doing as much as we did in as short a period of time as we did is fairly dramatic we actually took it fairly easy. She's one of the only people I know who can keep up with me...indeed, can surpass me from time to time when it comes to pushing limits. But no limits were pushed here, and as I type this I've taken Tylenol PM and I'm drinking some tea - getting ready for bed.
Over the past several days I put 1,400 miles on my trip for a "quick" trip to Miami to spend a couple of days at the boat show there. It rained the entire way down. Friday produced the most rain they've had in Miami in any single day this year so we spent our time at the Convention Center, and yesterday - well - it was beautiful so we spend it visiting the Sailboats. That was the main reason for the trip.
I've never been to a boat show before. At least, not a show like this one. It was huge. It filled the entire Miami Beach Convention Center, and covered two of the large Marinas. I have no idea how many thousands of people typically attend these things but it was sufficiently overwhelming to this admitted neophyte.
The reasons of the trip were twofold. One was to gather as much information as possible from our couple of days at the convention. We had a blast in that regard, and came back with lots of information and we made many good connections.
The second was simply to adventure together - doing things I doubt each of us would do alone. We had a blast in that regard, as well.
An unexpected result was being reunited with a very dear old friend. My friend, Amanda, was the first trans woman that I met in Phoenix. I was introduced to her through our electrologist, Maria, who continues to be a dear friend for both of us. Maria had a knack of connecting transitioning girls with others she thought would make good friends, and she was generally dead-on in her connections.
Anyway, I'll never forget getting Amanda's phone number and giving her mine, and hearing her leave me a voice message in my little apartment. We grew to be good friends, and she eventually even moved in with me for some period of time. She was a beginning activist, and I remember many a conversation of my belief that my own path would not lead me in a similar direction. I could not have been more wrong.
Eventually Amanda met a girl, and the two of them moved out of state. We lost touch with her for years. Until last year.
So, it has been a dozen years since I have seen her. Until yesterday.
 |
| Amanda and Donna - Reunited after a dozen years |
Our time together yesterday was relatively short. She was working the boat show, and although we planned on meeting for dinner I got a call from the hotel saying that I had left my iPad there when we checked out that morning so plans changed and dinner never happened. But I suspect our paths will cross again sooner rather than later - it will not be another dozen years before we meet up again. It is truly wonderful to reunite with people who played significant roles in our lives at some point later on. She will always be a "Big Sister" for me. And for that, I will forever be grateful.
I doubt many people stop to think about the importance of finding "big brothers" or "big sisters". Some stay in our lives for some period of time - others stay for a lifetime. But their impact never goes away.
I can name a half dozen people, or more, who played a role as a big brother or sister for me in those early days. And I suppose I've played that role for a number of little brothers and sisters, who have paid it forward themselves. I have come to understand that we are all part of a chain of learning and sharing.
Meeting with Amanda has made me a bit nostalgic, I think. As I get ready for bed tonight I have taken out some old photographs from those early days. I will do something useful with them - stay tuned for that.
I also have a unique proof sheet of shots we took the day we took perhaps my most well-known early photo, from 2003.
As the photo shoot progressed we got more and more playful, and by the end I wanted some shots while wearing a blazer and a pearl necklace, holding some roses, and nothing more. Here's one of the tame ones.
Although I think they're very tastefully done, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the most prominent aspects of the last of these black and white photos are my breasts. I'd love to share them because I'm not ashamed of them at all. At the time, it was a celebration of my body combined with the opportunity to do it in what I considered an elegant way....it's just that I'm not sure what would be "appropriate"....
Anyway - this boat show was a connection to both my past and my future. I can feel it. I don't know how many times things like this happen in our lives. So as special as the trip was in several ways - the true importance of it all will become apparent once some time has passed...
Anyways - back to this past weekend. I'm not feeling all that well - some sort of a cold that seems to be a result of my travels between Charleston and Raleigh. But I've been drinking tea, and taking Tylenol, and a certain someone took good care of me. I slept well and although it might sound like driving as far as we did and doing as much as we did in as short a period of time as we did is fairly dramatic we actually took it fairly easy. She's one of the only people I know who can keep up with me...indeed, can surpass me from time to time when it comes to pushing limits. But no limits were pushed here, and as I type this I've taken Tylenol PM and I'm drinking some tea - getting ready for bed.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Valentine
I'm sitting in the parking lot, waiting to go into the doctor's office for my annual blood work. Yuck. I'll be a lot happier in an hour, when it's over and I've got a cup of coffee in me.
I get It checked once a year as part of my annual "birthday" physical ritual. The actual physical itself is around the corner, and my semi-annual visit to the dermatologist is on the horizon as well.
It's Valentine's Day. I've explained how I feel about this manufactured non-holiday in the past and my feelings haven't changed. It's not that I'm necessarily down on some of the things it supposedly represents - it's the pressure of the Holiday itself that gets me crazy. I always plug into "Love Sucks" radio on Pandora this time of year, and so far this year is no different. Bah Humbug.
I adopted my own unique love song a few years ago and seem to share it here every year around this time. When this song changes, you'll know that something in me has changed. But here we are again - and here it is again.
Nine Inch Nails - Love is Not Enough....
Love it.
Perhaps one thing responsible for my fairly negative world view right now is news yesterday that the IOC is dropping Wrestling from the 2020 Olympics. Wrestling is one of 9 sports contested in the modern version of the Olympics in 1896, and now this? Rhythmic Gymnastics and Synchronized swimming are in....but a foundational sport like Wrestling is somehow out??? That's absolutely asinine. All I can say is that wrestlers are a fairly hardy bunch and will not take this quietly. I don't think this is over.
It shows just how out of touch the IOC has become with the games that they are purported to represent. And the articles coming out now that the shock has settled somewhat have been very interesting. Here's one Forbes (link here). Here one in the LA Times (link here). Here's one in the Washington Pose (link here). It's absolutely mind-boggling to me. Anyway - as I say I don't think this is over.
Gotta go get poked by a needle. More later.
I get It checked once a year as part of my annual "birthday" physical ritual. The actual physical itself is around the corner, and my semi-annual visit to the dermatologist is on the horizon as well.
It's Valentine's Day. I've explained how I feel about this manufactured non-holiday in the past and my feelings haven't changed. It's not that I'm necessarily down on some of the things it supposedly represents - it's the pressure of the Holiday itself that gets me crazy. I always plug into "Love Sucks" radio on Pandora this time of year, and so far this year is no different. Bah Humbug.
I adopted my own unique love song a few years ago and seem to share it here every year around this time. When this song changes, you'll know that something in me has changed. But here we are again - and here it is again.
Nine Inch Nails - Love is Not Enough....
Love it.
Perhaps one thing responsible for my fairly negative world view right now is news yesterday that the IOC is dropping Wrestling from the 2020 Olympics. Wrestling is one of 9 sports contested in the modern version of the Olympics in 1896, and now this? Rhythmic Gymnastics and Synchronized swimming are in....but a foundational sport like Wrestling is somehow out??? That's absolutely asinine. All I can say is that wrestlers are a fairly hardy bunch and will not take this quietly. I don't think this is over.
It shows just how out of touch the IOC has become with the games that they are purported to represent. And the articles coming out now that the shock has settled somewhat have been very interesting. Here's one Forbes (link here). Here one in the LA Times (link here). Here's one in the Washington Pose (link here). It's absolutely mind-boggling to me. Anyway - as I say I don't think this is over.
Gotta go get poked by a needle. More later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
