It has been a little less than a week since my last entry. I can't believe that, as so much has happened in that time that I struggle to even remember it all.
The most significant effort over these last few days was my birthday-day drive from here to Little Rock, AR. 850 miles. The older I get, the harder it is to do these kinds of one-day drives, and by the time I got there it was great to see my son and pups but I was wiped out. One night of sleep didn't make things much better so getting back into the car, that time with both pups, to do it all in reverse yesterday morning just added to it all.
And by the time we arrived this morning I was physically and mentally running on E. Not good.
There were several good parts. It was great to see my son. The last time I saw him was on my cross-country trip in May or June of last year. He's looking good, and making some significant changes in his own life.
It was great to see the pups. The last time I had all the pups living with me was when I lived in central PA a couple of years ago. Since then my son has had one or both of them so this is the first time we've all been "reunited" in a long time. The logistics of how all this is going to work still eludes me....but I'm sure I'll work it out. I always find a way.
To top it all off I have my bi-annual dermatologist appointment to check for a return of my melanoma tomorrow morning. I go into these things with a "it is what it is" attitude, but I'm sure there is some sort of emotional energy drain there, too.
And, my last day at work in Raleigh is on Friday. When it rains is pours, I suppose, but even for those of us accustomed to life change would prefer a more measured dose. This is a lot, all at once. I've already come to peace with the fact that it's going to take me a little while to get used to it all and how it's going to affect my life.
I work up this morning with a big, hairy body next to me. I took me a moment to realize one of the pups. I'm not used to fighting for bed-space.
I also wanted to revisit something I posted on a recent entry about romance. I think I've developed a bit of a Jeckyl/Hyde mentality when it comes to romance and the Nine Inch Nails song is something that's one side of the coin, and it's certainly valid. But I don't want to paint a picture where I'm some emotionally bankrupt romance-less soul. I consider myself to be passionate, and passion is a complicated emotion. I heard a recent song I find represents the "other" side of my romance coin:
If I could articulate the emotions that are important to me, this song would be the result.