It's Thursday, and I didn't go to North Carolina this week. I've worked from here in Charleston, and truth be told with all the tools available to work remotely I've been just as productive - if not more - here than I would have been if I had driven the 600+ miles and spent my typical 2 nights in a hotel.
Yesterday we hit 75 degrees here and I did another first. I practiced lacrosse. A certain someone has an 11 year old son who's just getting into the sport so we spent an hour out front throwing the ball. Frankly, I had as much or more fun than he did. Our record of consecutive throws/catches was 13...
It reminded me of being a kid. We didn't have lots of the things kids have today that keep them indoors - video games, DVD's, hundreds of tv channels. When we were home and the weather was nice we were outside....riding bikes, throwing a baseball or a football, shooting baskets, playing tennis, mowing the lawn, or just finding things to do. My favorite memories of being a kid are outdoor memories, and are fairly simple. Nothing too profound, but still....a comforting sense of my childhood.
It's nice to know that at this stage of life the child in me is alive and well. I suppose there will be a time when my body won't be able to do what my inner child is asking it to do but I'm hoping that that day is a long way off. In some ways I truly am a child at heart, a young spirit, and I think part of my ongoing efforts to find and maintain balance involve that Yin/Yang of being older, wiser, and more experienced at "life" and the need that my inner child always has to be able to come out and play.
That probably sounds like a lot of jibberish to most people - but I'm confident those who "get" it will understand what I'm saying. I'm not sure I can explain it any better.
I think the general Yin/Yang, Push/Pull, drive towards balance is a constant in life in general but becomes most acute when one or more things are significantly "out" of balance. It's true of relationships, career, sense of gender....it's actually a pretty complicated dynamic. But being able to see it, being able to actively "manage" it, and getting to a state where things are relatively aligned OR dealing with the fact that they're not is a constant driver in life.
Again....probably jibberish to most. But I see it clearly...at least most of the time I do. Like now.
Right now - so much in my life is IN balance, it's the job thing that just doesn't fit. At least, it doesn't fit with where I'm trying to go.
I realize that some of what I share here is fairly vague sometimes. There was a time when I probably shared too much, but the need for privacy - both my own and for others - has probably become one of the more significant concerns of sharing online. I truly believe that many people share way too much personal stuff online....blogs, FB, etc....and it can have significant affects but that's a bit off topic of what I want to say.
From time to time I mention "a certain someone". Some people know who she is. Most importantly, she knows who she is. She has played an important role in my life for a long, long time - we've been through a lot together. All I've ever wished for her is happiness and I know she feels similarly in return. So none of this is new news.
As for our relationship - well, I don't need to provide a more descriptive explanation than the fact that she's the certain someone that I mention from time to time, and that she's special to me in a way that nobody else is or has ever been. She has her life that's busy and complicated, and I have my own. Where our lives intersect - well - all I can say that is in a world that sometimes seems so complicated that part seems so pure and simple.
She has recently explained some of this, using far less words and probably far more effectively, in her own blog and has given me permission to share it here. (Link here). When it comes to important things like this, all I can say is "Amen".
And that's that. For now. But some of what happens over the next few weeks will make more sense for those who read that. If all goes according to plan we'll be headed to Miami at this time next week. And, for those who recognize that my inner child is still very much alive and well.