Friday is done. It was more emotionally draining than I thought it would be.
During lunch I went and signed my life away to get the keys to my apartment. I signed release forms about pets, about satellite tv, about bed bugs....I think it was more paperwork than when I signed for my mortgage. Crazy. But I've got my keys, and as I stood in my empty one bedroom apartment the distance between here and home seemed greater and the magnitude of this came into perspective. I'm in friggin' Nebraska.
As I type this it's pouring outside....tornado watch is in effect for the next 45 minutes. It's quite the water and light show out there. Regardless, I'm hoping to be asleep shortly.
Tonight isn't the first night in my new place because the only thing there at the moment is my Cox connection. I'm still in the little basement haven at Meredith and Lynne's house where I've been since I arrived. They have been absolute life-savers....I have no idea how I would have been able to do all this without their good energy, their kindness, and their help. I'll start moving "living" stuff, like the little bit of furniture I've got here, in tomorrow. I may stay there tomorrow night, but more likely I'm thinking on Sunday.
There's a special Anderson Cooper CN360 tonight about recent news that an ex-Navy Seal has come out as trans.
Some Still seem so shocked when these kinds of things happen. But the reality is that many of the trans-people I know are over-achievers who became hyper-masculine in an attempt to deal with their "secret". The old stereotype of a feminine boy that others must somehow realize is trans is proven to be wrong over and over and over but still, the we titillate when things like this happen.
I give Kristen all the credit in the world for sharing her story so openly. And I wish her nothing but happiness and success. This is hard road, but I think she's already recognized that many of the traits that made her successful as a Seal are necessary to survive transition and beyond.
To bring things full circle - that's why I'm here in Nebraska. We do what we need to do. There's no use complaining of having a pity part - I've got a good job doing some pretty interesting work, I like the people I've met here so far, I'm healthy, I'm relatively happy, I'm focused, I allowed an unexpected opportunity to happen, and I'm dealing with the logistics now. Those are instincts for survival as much as simply life traits that I honed as a teen and have helped me throughout my life.
Today or tomorrow I will be making a shopping trip I've made a dozen or more times before. Filling up the refrigerator, stuff for setting up a new place to live (shower curtain, silverware holder, welcome mat, pots and pans, etc.) Getting settled is a process. But this part of it started today.