Impetuous

Impetuous:  Characterized by sudden and forceful energy or emotion; impulsive and passionate. 

I suppose I could be called impetuous.  My filter between thinking something and doing something is sometimes very thin or non-existent which has both it's good and bad points.  I sometimes consciously remind myself to slow down to consider things more carefully when I sense that something might be taking that path in me. 

The reason any of that is relevant right now is that I had a trip home to Charleston planned and it struck me that the answer to several of my conundrums was to drive instead of fly.  I already had the flights booked, mind you, and the 1,300 mile each-way drive is not for the faint of heart.  I really did try to stop to consider the options but the right answer that kept popping up was to drive - so here I am.

We (as in me, and the pups) did almost 800 miles on Saturday and 500 miles on Sunday.  We were up at 3:30am and on the road by 4 to get here quicker - as always they were wonderful traveling companions.  The weather was wonderful, the roads were good, the truck behaved flawlessly, and there was some spectacular autumn scenery along the way....especially along I-40 northwest of Asheville NC and I-26 just south of it.  

It typically takes me a couple of says to recover physically from those long drives and this was no different - I'm finally over the lingering effects.  But barring unforeseen delays - and honestly the chance for one is 50/50 - we'll be back on the road at this time tomorrow to do it all in reverse.

The thing I want most right now is to bring my worlds together.  That seems to be an ongoing story for me.  For years it was the gender thing.  Now, it's the home/career thing.  Regardless....one of my worlds often seems to be traveling a different path than the one I'd like it to be on so aligning them into a single direction seems to have become a life constant.  That's not a complaint so much as an observation.  I realize it, I see it,  and I've come to peace with it.  I've got a good job, good health, a nice place to live that I truly enjoy, and I'm looking forward to the future.  The only problem is that some of those things happen to exist across different time zones....

All that said, I realize that I've got two very good worlds going on, as I have for quite a while.  It's not like I need to flee one to get to the other.  They're both there and the situation will rectify itself in its own time - not in my time.  The best I can do is remain patient, sip from both my worlds, and keep a good spirit about it all.  I think I do that pretty well most of the time although as my Nebraska world heads into winter this entire dynamic may change.  We'll see.

Some of what I've got on my To-Do list today is practical...I'm getting my flu shot, registering my car, I'm getting my hair done, I need to pick up my wet suit from the scuba store, I need to move some things in my truck, I'm meeting some friends for dinner and I've got a ticket to see Matt Nathenson tonight.  All said - a busy day.  The weather here has been wonderful - highs in the 70's - and I'll take this any day of any week.  Love it.

Speaking of Matt Nathenson - there was an article in Towleroad yesterday about his latest video (see it here).  Apparently, it features a trans-woman.  

I typically feel "blah" for a day or so after having my flu shot so feeling blah while doing a 1,300 mile two-day drive is something I'd prefer to avoid so we'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow.  Regardless of my physical health - right now everything I'd want to be here in Charleston is here....my truck, my pups, and me.  But my job is waiting patiently for me to get back and I need to heed that call until such time as the job thing is here too.  

Until then - and probably even afterwards - impetuous is typically something you are not something you do.  And...I am.