I realized earlier today that I don't think I've spent more than 2 consecutive nights in the same place in several weeks. Whether it's Charleston, Raleigh, or some of the other places that I've had to go recently I've achieved Platinum and Elite status at a number of hotel chains, and that's not necessarily a good thing.
I also find I drive, on average, upwards of 1,000 miles a week - give or take a hundred miles depending on whatever happens to be happening. There's a triangle of cities where I find myself and most of the time I'm so focused on doing what I need to do I don't think about the impact that it all has.
Well - I've been feeling like crap lately. Pressure in the sinuses. Watery eyes. Dull headache. No energy. And the speed of life I've been living doesn't provide one of the main ingredients of getting better. Rest.
None of that is a complaint. My career is going crazy. Over the last couple of days we've had to account for $2.4 million dollars of a government grant in a project that stalled a while ago and I've gotten back on track - so knowing how much is left and what has been spent on what although very few people who were originally involved are still there has been more like detective work than anything. It has actually been fairly fascinating.
On another front I've got a million dollar project that's the first phase of a paradigm-shift for a major tech player going into production in two weeks so we're getting all those loose ends tied off, keeping all our stakeholders calm, and managing expectations. It's the culmination of much of my effort in Raleigh over these past several months....and I'm ultimately responsible.
That's why my feeling like crap over these past couple of weeks has been such a hassle. I can't do all of this with less than full energy. And although it was great to spend some time with mom, the Thanksgiving day trip to Dallas and back didn't help.
I realize all this has put me out of balance. I've said that several times recently and I'm ok with it for some period of time. But the reality is that now is the time to work on some longer-term plans that aren't nearly so frenetic, that allow for a more stable world, and that provide the opportunity to enjoy the slice of heaven where I live.
Those conversations started this week. What about the future? What parts of this are flexible enough to fit into it, and what parts aren't? It won't change until something makes it change - either I get myself sick, or I can't juggle it all and start dropping the ball, or someone makes a decision. As I said in my last post - I own that.
I don't define myself by my career. Those who have followed this blog for any period of time will recognize the ebb and flow there, as well. I took most of the summer off to enjoy some "me" time expecting that a time of very little "me" time would necessarily be involved at some point. Well, this is that point.
I've been a consultant for a long time - partly because I need the flexibility and partly because I enjoy doing different things. There are benefits to that kind of life, but costs as well. So - one of the costs recently involves going home to a hotel after work or driving a hundred miles or more.
Tonight I'm home for the first time since I left here at 3am Monday morning. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow because the antibiotics and the nasal spray hasn't chased this "yuck" feeling away. I don't know that there's anything she can do to help....she's going to tell me I need to rest. My goal is to spend at least 3 nights here at home - that'd be a good place to start.
It's going to be 70+ degrees here this weekend. That's my kind of December. I'm going to slow my life down and enjoy it...I own that, too.