There is still quite a bit of uncertainty in my world that needs to be straightened between now and Thursday. It's more complicated than I can say. But the good news is that it's complicated because there are difficult decisions about a number of potentially good options to be made, not because there there are bad choices (or no choices) on the table.
Part of the problem I'm dealing with is that people who have filled various trusted roles in my world are changing, or are forfeiting their trusted role. It's not anyone's "fault", but it's just the way it is. Things change. People change. Time changes things.
I don't have any one person in my life who fulfills all my basic needs. To be perfectly candid, I don't know that I ever did, or if it's even possible (or desirable). Intimacy needs. Someone to discuss difficult decisions with, who actually cares and will provide good feedback. Someone I can vent to, or explain to, or simply ask questions. There's a whole range of them. Not having someone else to fill them leaves me mostly to my own devices to either have a trusted friend who can help, or simply do it myself.
Anyway - among everything else that is changing right now, roles (and perhaps needs) are changing too. I'm not sure if it's coincidence or not. It's just a fact.
In the midst of all this - picture this. I'm running around doing errands yesterday, heading to the gym this afternoon near rush hour on one of the local highways. Traffic isn't going all that fast, but we come to a stop. Except for the guy behind me. Boom. Right into the back of my truck.
I haven't been in an accident in years. The last moving "incident" I had was when I hit a deer full on back in 2003. That was pretty traumatic. But this was a "fender bender" in the most literal sense. My rear fender is bent. His truck wasn't nearly as large as my truck - and half of his front bumper is coming off.
I didn't get hurt. I got more frustrated than anything, because I just don't need this right now. But here we are....I've got an appointment tomorrow with the collision guy to tell me what's involved to fix it.
Back to this roots thing for a second....
Once my wife and I moved into our home outside Rochester, NY in 1982 we were there for almost 15 years. We left there and were pretty settled in Scottsdale when all hell broke loose in 1998. I've been trying to count all the different places I've lived since then - how many times I've had to pack and/or unpack. I lost count at 12 and think it's probably closer to 15. That's crazy.
I suppose it could be said that my life has been "unsettled" simply because there are more moves than years. I don't think I'd deny that. Part of it has been a process of trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, and where I want to do it. My career as a consultant is inherently fluid - and there's always a specific start and end to the projects I manage. But as I've shared in recent emails - I'm finally tired of that, and looking to settle down. Donna's ready for some good nesting time.
No nesting in the short term. Headed to Raleigh tomorrow to look around and sign papers. Then, I'll drive to Charlotte. I've got a 6am flight from Charlotte to Rochester, NY on Friday. Wedding stuff and family stuff kick in when I get to Rochester. My nieces wedding day is on Saturday. Then I do it in reverse - 6am flight from Rochester to CLT, then drive to Raleigh to start work on Monday.
It's going to be a busy next few days. :)