Thursday, February 28, 2013

My second biggest need.

It's 2am.  I've got 2 dogs sleeping on the king size bed here at the hotel with me.  I should be sleeping, too.

The oddest thing happened tonight.  I went out for dinner and got back to my hotel by 7.  But I was overcome with fatigue and just lay down.  And I slept for 5 hours.  The good news is that it was good sleep.  The bad news is, well, here it is 2am and I'm awake.  I'm hopeful of still getting 3 or 4 more hours of sleep tonight.

As I mentioned last time, the CNN piece dropped today.  It's a topic that generates quite a bit of passion and I'm told by people who have waded into the comments that it's pretty ugly.  I expected that.  As I also mentioned, I don't look at the comments because it makes me crazy.

Late this afternoon CNN emailed me and asked if I would answer some of the questions being asked, or address some of the themes in the comments.  I responded by saying that they'd need have someone dig through the comments for common themes as I wasn't going to head down that path.  They agreed, and sent some questions along with associated comments.  I should be answering the questions right now.  Instead, I'm writing here and I'll be going back to bed in a moment.

This is my last day at work on this contract.  I actually enjoy contract work for this very reason - I like things that end.  There is a specific duration to the contract, and once it's done the option to continue may be there but the reason that an organization needed to supplement its workforce with someone has been addressed.  It can make for a fairly tumultuous life, but I've done it for the better part of 30 years and I've found it suits me.

I've enjoyed the work here.  I'm met some people I hope to stay in touch with.  My projects were all successful, and we part on good terms which is as it should be.  But now it's time to get some continuity back home.  That's my biggest need right now.

My second biggest need is to get back to sleep, so I'm going to try.  We'll see how it goes.  :)

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The storm, and the calm.

Yesterday was one of those days you just need to get thru.  I was up at 3, had both wet dogs in the truck and on the road by 4, long wet rainy drive to Raleigh but made my 9am meeting, dogs stuck in the truck, pouring, and finally letting up after work.  Wet, soggy, cold. damp - it was just one of those "yuck" days where it's nice to sit in front of a fire or go to the movies all day long.

The pups really didn't seem to mind, tho....Road warriors just like me.  These dogs are troopers, and they've experienced these things before so they've learned to take things in stride.

With yesterday's soaking rains, this became the wettest February on record in Charleston (story here).  We've had well over ten inches of the wet stuff.  I'm interested to see how that affects our spring, as spring blooms last year happened way in advance of the year before.  I remember a time, living in AZ, when we'd average 4 inches of rain for an entire year. 

None of this is a complaint, mind you.  It's just the way it is.  I'd rather have ten inches of rain and zero inches of snow than the other way around.  I'm thrilled to death that our daily temperature highs are typically closer to 60 than to 20.  It has snowed three or four times in Raleigh, but thankfully I haven't been around to actually see that.

I'm fascinated with a recent story about the Yahoo CEO's edict to end tellecommuting at the company (story here).   That's the exact reason why my contract is ending this week.

There has been quite a bit of strong reaction to it (one example).  I wouldn't be surprised to see a bit of a backtrack on it sometime over the next week or so now that it has had the chance to land with a thud.

For me, our original  agreement of actually being in Raleigh on Tues-Wed-Thu provided the flexibility that made this commute tolerable.  When asked to make it a traditional 5-day week here, the decision was an easy one.  I'm happy to say that when I leave the office for the last time on Friday to drive home to Charleston we'll still be on good terms.

In the meantime, this week I'm training the PM who will be replacing me.  I suspect that Yahoo will be going through similar trainings....

It all gets back to that same thing: Balance.  I don't think I'd want to telecommute every day.  But at the same time I need some flexibility to manage my life.  Until recently things here had balanced well.  But things change, so it's time to go home.

I'm already looking at exciting things to do.  A certain someone and I are going to start taking SCUBA lessons and get certified now that my schedule is more settled.  We've been talking about that for a while but the blocker has been my ability to be at home over the days of the classes.  There are a number of photo Meetup Groups that I'm part of but I can rarely make the meetings because they're on nights that I'm typically gone.  I'm looking forward to putting more stability into my world....both for my own sake and for the pups.

A more daunting reality is that trans people typically have difficulty getting jobs (see recent CNN story) and I'm not immune to that.  I haven't had "the discussion" with anyone here at work but I'm not naive enough to believe that nobody knows.  In fact, I couldn't care less.  However, I'm also not naive enough to believe that learning about my past hasn't played had significant impacts on my career. 

That is the very reason that I was and remain so passionate about ENDA.  The barriers many of us have to face to get and keep a job are the very reasons it's hard to get and keep our head above the water.  It is more than an assault on our employability - it is an assault on our personhood.  Anyway - I need to get off the soapbox.  I'm in too good a mood to get my blood-pressure up.

Speaking of blood pressure up, my friends at CNN wrote to me and asked if I wanted to comment on a story they're currently running that's apparently generating quite the reaction.  The parents of a first-grade trans girl in Colorado filed a complaint with the state Human Rights Commission because their daughter is not being allowed to use the girls bathroom (story here).

I get these requests at, like, noon, and have a couple or three hours to write something.  Typical length is 600-800 words.  Anyway, I wrote the first thing that came to my mind and sent it off.  They're happy with it, so I suspect that will be published by this time tomorrow.  As usual, I won't read any of the comments.  I've learned that the hard way.

In the meantime, tomorrow is my second last day on this project.  As a contract worker beginnings and endings are part of the territory.  In a way, reaching them is actually a relief.

Monday, February 25, 2013


The pups and I will be up early in the morning for our last drive to Raleigh.  I'm turning over my remaining projects, and then I'll be done.  I would have preferred to do this without getting the dogs involved but there's no other way.  Thankfully, we stay at "dog friendly" hotels and they're pretty accustomed to traveling.  But it's a drag to keep them cooped up in a hotel (or, in my truck) all day.

One of the themes I touched on in my last post was the trait to be willing to do what it takes to get something done.  Frankly, I think it's a rarer trait than many of us realize as many people spend way too much time waffling and not enough time doing.  Although I could name a number of down-sides to the "do-what-it-takes" mentality I'm willing to accept them for the sake of actually getting things done.  Everything has down sides.  And, "down" is typically in the eye of the beholder far more than an absolute.

My son is going thru one of those right now.  He has decided to relocated to Boulder, CO.  He doesn't know a soul there, he just drive thru that blizzard, but he has made a decision so he's going to make it happen.  I'm actually a little nervous for him about it, but then again no matter how old our kids get we never stop being "parents".

The good news from my melanoma check today is that there isn't anything that appears worrisome.  The one piece of "eh" news is that apparently I've got a cyst the size of a walnut on my back somewhere so I'll be headed back in a couple of weeks to have that excised.   

I recently went to see the new Die Hard movie.  I'll be honest - I've enjoyed all the Die Hard movies except one.  And I thought the last one was one of the best.  Anyway, I realize that it may not be a hit with critics (most seem to hate it) we're not embarrassed to admit that we both enjoyed it (although I can't speak for the one other guy in the theater while we were there).  It was just kinda "fun", and that's one of the reasons we go to the movies for.  I stopped gauging which movies to go see by what the critics think a long time ago.

Speaking of movies - I was in bed before the Oscars got underway last night but was glad to see that the actress from Silver Lining Playbook won the Oscar for best actress.  That was still my most favorite movie of last year, and she was great.  I watched her post-Oscar interview, and she seems as genuine in person as she appears on screen (link here).

Lastly - back to the dueling "Romance" discussions I've had recently - it's important to realize that I've got some very effective walls and it takes a lot for them to come down.  Sometimes I'll provide a peek at what's behind the walls, but the reality of it is that "walls" are an important component of self-preservation.  I could spend an hour talking about walls....different kinds of walls, built for different reasons....but suffice it to say that I know these things about myself and I'm comfortable with them.  Just because something is part of a "wall" doesn't make it any less real.  If anything - it can make it "more" real because sometimes the wall is there in the first place is that it's something we're sensitive about.

Anyway - my walls are a constant Yin/Yang of push and pull, of moving, of trying to make sense of things.  Like many things in these entries some will scratch their heads at that.  Others will consider it as psycho-babble.  And others....well, you'll get it without more explanation.

Oh - one last thing for tonight.  I'm going to be the PRIDE month keynote speaker for the CIA.  I'm looking forward to that.  :)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

The other side of the coin

It has been a little less than a week since my last entry.  I can't believe that, as so much has happened in that time that I struggle to even remember it all.

The most significant effort over these last few days was my birthday-day drive from here to Little Rock, AR.  850 miles.  The older I get, the harder it is to do these kinds of one-day drives, and by the time I got there it was great to see my son and pups but I was wiped out.  One night of sleep didn't make things much better so getting back into the car, that time with both pups, to do it all in reverse yesterday morning just added to it all.

And by the time we arrived this morning I was physically and mentally running on E.  Not good.

There were several good parts.  It was great to see my son.  The last time I saw him was on my cross-country trip in May or June of last year.  He's looking good, and making some significant changes in his own life.

It was great to see the pups.  The last time I had all the pups living with me was when I lived in central PA a couple of years ago.  Since then my son has had one or both of them so this is the first time we've all been "reunited" in a long time.  The logistics of how all this is going to work still eludes me....but I'm sure I'll work it out.  I always find a way.

To top it all off I have my bi-annual dermatologist appointment to check for a return of my melanoma tomorrow morning.  I go into these things with a "it is what it is" attitude, but I'm sure there is some sort of emotional energy drain there, too.

And, my last day at work in Raleigh is on Friday.  When it rains is pours, I suppose, but even for those of us accustomed to life change would prefer a more measured dose.  This is a lot, all at once.  I've already come to peace with the fact that it's going to take me a little while to get used to it all and how it's going to affect my life.

I work up this morning with a big, hairy body next to me.  I took me a moment to realize one of the pups.  I'm not used to fighting for bed-space.

I also wanted to revisit something I posted on a recent entry about romance.  I think I've developed a bit of a Jeckyl/Hyde mentality when it comes to romance and the Nine Inch Nails song is something that's one side of the coin, and it's certainly valid.  But I don't want to paint a picture where I'm some emotionally bankrupt romance-less soul.  I consider myself to be passionate, and passion is a complicated emotion.  I heard a recent song I find represents the "other" side of my romance coin:

If I could articulate the emotions that are important to me, this song would be the result.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


I know it might not be apparent to those who don't look deep below the surface, but I'm still a romantic at heart.  I'm not talking about hopeless romantics, or some kind of version of high school romance.  I'm talking about mature romance that sometimes transcends relationships.  Often, it's the simple things that embody my vision of "romance" holding hands, or simple kissing....rather than any grand gesture where the ultimate goal isn't romance.  It's simply sex.  I'll take romance over simply sex any day of the week.

I've got a lot of big things coming up.  I just told someone that I wish that I could go to sleep and wake up two weeks from now, with everything that needs to happen between now and then all taken care of.  I think they call that kind of "sleep" a coma, and I suspect I'll be awake for more of what's going to happen than I really want to.

I'm on the cusp of some significant changes.  I've already mentioned that my contract is ending as of the end of next week so this particular crazy commute will be over, as well.  With gas prices zooming up (they've gone up 17 cents here in the last week!) it's probably a good thing.  But I've got at least one and maybe two cross-country drives in my near future and that's not going to be fun.

One of the things that a certain someone and I share is a trait whereby we simply do what needs to be done.  We don't complain too much.  We don't dilly dally.  We make decisions and then we do.  In this case I've got some things that need to be done and I could moan about some of it for an hour.  There's a good chance that I'll spend my birthday night later this week in a hotel somewhere in Louisiana.  But I've got an obligation that I need to honor so despite the fact that it complicates life right now I need to do what I need to do. 

I can remember a half dozen recent birthdays of being on the road to or from somewhere.  None in recent memory top my birthday when I turned 50 but I don't look at birthdays that way.  It's just another marks another year that I've been on this earth.  As we've talked about many times in the past it's not how long you're here that matters's what you do with the time.

Today is Tuesday - so I was up at my usual ridiculous hour and I drove my usual 300 miles to get to work.  I'm actually in pretty good spirits, although I've got a big headache right now.  I'm not sure if it's the new BP meds, or the rain, or the stress, or what....but I'll be headed to my hotel shortly and hope to curl up in a little ball for a few hours.

I had my annual birthday physical yesterday and all seems to be well.  Funny thing is that in previous years I'm typically in tip/top shape in February and there are often issues of one kind or another.  This year I haven't had the time to get to the gym in weeks and my readings were the best they've been in years.  Go figure.  I've got an appointment with a dermatologist on Monday to do the close examination of my skin for any sign of another melanoma.  I'm not too worried, but then again when they found one on me 4 years ago I wasn't worried about it then either.

Anyway - life changes on the way.  That's true for all of us, I suppose, but here we go again.  I like to think there's an ultimate purpose for all of this.  But then again, I  think that's the romantic in me speaking....

Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Chain

The good news is that my blood is good.  At least, the readings are good.  The doctor sent them to me on Friday and I've got my annual physical tomorrow to discuss them.  For years my annual physical was simply a non-event.  Now that I'm at this stage of life - ya just never know.

Over the past several days I put 1,400 miles on my trip for a "quick" trip to Miami to spend a couple of days at the boat show there.  It rained the entire way down.  Friday produced the most rain they've had in Miami in any single day this year so we spent our time at the Convention Center,  and yesterday - well - it was beautiful so we spend it visiting the Sailboats.  That was the main reason for the trip.

I've never been to a boat show before.  At least, not a show like this one.  It was huge.  It filled the entire Miami Beach Convention Center, and covered two of the large Marinas.  I have no idea how many thousands of people typically attend these things but it was sufficiently overwhelming to this admitted neophyte.

The reasons of the trip were twofold.  One was to gather as much information as possible from our couple of days at the convention.  We had a blast in that regard, and came back with lots of information and we made many good connections.

The second was simply to adventure together - doing things I doubt each of us would do alone.  We had a blast in that regard, as well.

An unexpected result was being reunited with a very dear old friend.  My friend, Amanda,  was the first trans woman that I met in Phoenix.  I was introduced to her through our electrologist, Maria, who continues to be a dear friend for both of us.  Maria had a knack of connecting transitioning girls with others she thought would make good friends, and she was generally dead-on in her connections.

Anyway, I'll never forget getting Amanda's phone number and giving her mine, and hearing her leave me a voice message in my little apartment.  We grew to be good friends, and she eventually even moved in with me for some period of time.  She was a beginning activist, and I remember many a conversation of my belief that my own path would not lead me in a similar direction.  I could not have been more wrong.

Eventually Amanda met a girl, and the two of them moved out of state.  We lost touch with her for years.  Until last year.

So, it has been a dozen years since I have seen her.  Until yesterday.

Amanda and Donna - Reunited after a dozen years

Our time together yesterday was relatively short.  She was working the boat show, and although we planned on meeting for dinner I got a call from the hotel saying that I had left my iPad there when we checked out that morning so plans changed and dinner never happened.  But I suspect our paths will cross again sooner rather than later - it will not be another dozen years before we meet up again.  It is truly wonderful to reunite with people who played significant roles in our lives at some point later on.   She will always be a "Big Sister" for me.  And for that, I will forever be grateful.

I doubt many people stop to think about the importance of finding "big brothers" or "big sisters".  Some stay in our lives for some period of time - others stay for a lifetime.  But their impact never goes away.

I can name a half dozen people, or more, who played a role as a big brother or sister for me in those early days.  And I suppose I've played that role for a number of little brothers and sisters, who have paid it forward themselves.  I have come to understand that we are all part of a chain of learning and sharing.

Meeting with Amanda has made me a bit nostalgic, I think.  As I get ready for bed tonight I have taken out some old photographs from those early days.  I will do something useful with them - stay tuned for that.

I also have a unique proof sheet of shots we took the day we took perhaps my most well-known early photo, from 2003.

As the photo shoot progressed we got more and more playful, and by the end I wanted some shots while wearing a blazer and a pearl necklace, holding some roses, and nothing more.  Here's one of the tame ones.

Although I think they're very tastefully done, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the most prominent aspects of the last of these black and white photos are my breasts.  I'd love to share them because I'm not ashamed of them at all.  At the time, it was a celebration of my body combined with the opportunity to do it in what I considered an elegant's just that I'm not sure what would be "appropriate"....

Anyway - this boat show was a connection to both my past and my future.  I can feel it.  I don't know how many times things like this happen in our lives.  So as special as the trip was in several ways - the true importance of it all will become apparent once some time has passed...

Anyways - back to this past weekend.  I'm not feeling all that well - some sort of a cold that seems to be a result of my travels between Charleston and Raleigh.  But I've been drinking tea, and taking Tylenol, and a certain someone took good care of me.  I slept well and although it might sound like driving as far as we did and doing as much as we did in as short a period of time as we did is fairly dramatic we actually took it fairly easy.  She's one of the only people I know who can keep up with me...indeed, can surpass me from time to time when it comes to pushing limits.  But no limits were pushed here, and as I type this I've taken Tylenol PM and I'm drinking some tea - getting ready for bed.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


I'm sitting in the parking lot, waiting to go into the doctor's office for my annual blood work. Yuck. I'll be a lot happier in an hour, when it's over and I've got a cup of coffee in me.

I get It checked once a year as part of my annual "birthday" physical ritual. The actual physical itself is around the corner, and my semi-annual visit to the dermatologist is on the horizon as well.

It's Valentine's Day. I've explained how I feel about this manufactured non-holiday in the past and my feelings haven't changed. It's not that I'm necessarily down on some of the things it supposedly represents - it's the pressure of the Holiday itself that gets me crazy. I always plug into "Love Sucks" radio on Pandora this time of year, and so far this year is no different.  Bah Humbug.

I adopted my own unique love song a few years ago and seem to share it here every year around this time.  When this song changes, you'll know that something in me has changed.  But here we are again - and here it is again.

Nine Inch Nails - Love is Not Enough....

Love it.

Perhaps one thing responsible for my fairly negative world view right now is news yesterday that the IOC is dropping Wrestling from the 2020 Olympics.  Wrestling is one of 9 sports contested in the modern version of the Olympics in 1896, and now this?  Rhythmic Gymnastics and Synchronized swimming are in....but a foundational sport like Wrestling is somehow out???  That's absolutely asinine.  All I can say is that wrestlers are a fairly hardy bunch and will not take this quietly.  I don't think this is over.

It shows just how out of touch the IOC has become with the games that they are purported to represent. And the articles coming out now that the shock has settled somewhat have been very interesting.  Here's one Forbes (link here).  Here one in the LA Times (link here).   Here's one in the Washington Pose (link here).  It's absolutely mind-boggling to me.  Anyway - as I say I don't think this is over.

Gotta go get poked by a needle. More later.


Monday, February 11, 2013


I had a pleasant weekend.  My definition of pleasant is doing things I want, being with people I want to be with, not feeling too much, pressure, and generally just enjoying life.

It seems like we're always looking to use superlatives.  Wonderful.  Incredible.  Amazing.  And these things do happen.  But so many things are "pleasant"....something positive and good and comfortable.

I got a lot done over the weekend, or, at least I feel like I did.  There are a ton of things I didn't get done, but I don't dwell on those things. 

For whatever didn't get done, well, there will be another time.  In this case - it's what did get done that counts.

Planning for the Miami Boat Show.  An afternoon sailing around Charleston Harbor on a boat similar to the ones that are interesting us right now.  A certain someone took some video of part of the adventure and I'll share it here....we both had a blast.  I can't take any credit whatsoever for her skill to put these things together the way she does.  The credit is all hers....

It's fascinating to talk with people who live what I think most would consider "non-traditional" lives.  People who live on boats seem to fall into that category.  Captain Mike and his wife have lived on that boat for a number of years and it was truly a joy spending the afternoon with them.  Some wine and cheese, beautiful weather, great company.  It was just what we needed.

As a side note - I find the older I get the more comfortable I get with non-traditional.  I was raised to be fairly traditional, and I think even through my transition trying to fit into traditional compartments was part of my thinking.  But as I get older, and I become more aware of the unconventional nature that some of us take to get from here to there the more I appreciate similar thinkers.  We're rarer than you think because there's a price to day....

Anyway - I'll make no bones about it.  If I have my way there will be a big sailboat in our not too far off future.  We've started the process of talking to people, and we both have friends who have lived on boats.  But part of this process is seeing if it's something that feels even remotely as we envision.

Yesterday - we were cutting through the water. And it was....well...better than pleasant.  It was magical.  If you could put yourself into that video, and feel boat cutting through the water, the wind filling the sails, the wind and ocean spray in your face....I think you'd come up with that same word.  Magical.

Anyway - later this week we're headed down to the mother of all boat shows - where this will lead?  Well....I hope it leads right back to where we were yesterday.  Except we won't be visitors on someone else's boat.  We'll be captains of our own.

But closer on my horizon is my health.  I went off my BP meds to see what it looks like without "help".  Eeek.  Not good.  I went to Costco to buy a blood pressure cuff so I can monitor it better but haven't put it together yet.  I was actually wonderful last time on the meds.  At my most recent check:

Admittedly, getting checked at the supermarket might not be the most conducive place for a low reading but I'm not after a low reading.  I'm after a realistic one.  So whether it's diet, or weight, or pressure, or family history.....when I have my birthday check-up next week I can tell where this conversation is going to go.

That's what birthdays are turning into for me these days.  Health tests.  Blood tests.  Any more malignant melanomas?  How's the body working.  And although I mentioned last week about my inner child the reality of a 50+ year old body is very much something that needs ongoing monitoring and maintenance.

I don't expect to live forever, but I'd like to live long enough to take out boat to the Virgin Islands...whether that's a year, two years, or five years away. 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Inner Child

It's Thursday, and I didn't go to North Carolina this week.  I've worked from here in Charleston, and truth be told with all the tools available to work remotely I've been just as productive - if not more - here than I would have been if I had driven the 600+ miles and spent my typical 2 nights in a hotel.

Yesterday we hit 75 degrees here and I did another first.  I practiced lacrosse.  A certain someone has an 11 year old son who's just getting into the sport so we spent an hour out front throwing the ball.  Frankly, I had as much or more fun than he did.  Our record of consecutive throws/catches was 13...

It reminded me of being a kid.  We didn't have lots of the things kids have today that keep them indoors - video games, DVD's, hundreds of tv channels.  When we were home and the weather was nice we were outside....riding bikes, throwing a baseball or a football, shooting baskets, playing tennis, mowing the lawn, or just finding things to do.  My favorite memories of being a kid are outdoor memories, and are fairly simple.  Nothing too profound, but still....a comforting sense of my childhood.

It's nice to know that at this stage of life the child in me is alive and well.  I suppose there will be a time when my body won't be able to do what my inner child is asking it to do but I'm hoping that that day is a long way off.  In some ways I truly am a child at heart, a young spirit, and I think part of my ongoing efforts to find and maintain balance involve that Yin/Yang of being older, wiser, and more experienced at "life" and the need that my inner child always has to be able to come out and play.

That probably sounds like a lot of jibberish to most people - but I'm confident those who "get" it will understand what I'm saying.  I'm not sure I can explain it any better.

I think the general Yin/Yang, Push/Pull, drive towards balance is a constant in life in general but becomes most acute when one or more things are significantly "out" of balance.  It's true of relationships, career, sense of's actually a pretty complicated dynamic.  But being able to see it, being able to actively "manage" it, and getting to a state where things are relatively aligned OR dealing with the fact that they're not is a constant driver in life.

Again....probably jibberish to most.  But I see it least most of the time I do.  Like now.

Right now - so much in my life is IN balance, it's the job thing that just doesn't fit.  At least, it doesn't fit with where I'm trying to go.

I realize that some of what I share here is fairly vague sometimes.  There was a time when I probably shared too much, but the need for privacy - both my own and for others - has probably become one of the more significant concerns of sharing online.  I truly believe that many people share way too much personal stuff online....blogs, FB, etc....and it can have significant affects but that's a bit off topic of what I want to say.

From time to time I mention "a certain someone".  Some people know who she is.  Most importantly, she knows who she is.  She has played an important role in my life for a long, long time - we've been through a lot together.  All I've ever wished for her is happiness and I know she feels similarly in return.  So none of this is new news.

As for our relationship - well, I don't need to provide a more descriptive explanation than the fact that she's the certain someone that I mention from time to time, and that she's special to me in a way that nobody else is or has ever been.   She has her life that's busy and complicated, and I have my own.  Where our lives intersect - well - all I can say that is in a world that sometimes seems so complicated that part seems so pure and simple.

She has recently explained some of this, using far less words and probably far more effectively, in her own blog and has given me permission to share it here.  (Link here). When it comes to important things like this, all I can say is "Amen".

And that's that.  For now.  But some of what happens over the next few weeks will make more sense for those who read that.  If all goes according to plan we'll be headed to Miami at this time next week.  And, for those who recognize that my inner child is still very much alive and well.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Better Bal

Life gets busy sometimes to the point I don't write here for some number of days.  Usually when that happens, it's a good thing.  This time it is.

Some post-weekend observations:

The Super Bowl feels a little like the election (or vice versa).  All the build-up.  The event.  And now - all the post-game stuff.  About everything.  The game.  The power outage.  The commercials.  Which coach did a better job.  The Halftime Show.  Individual players.  The draft.  Next season.  Best SB ever?  Oy.

I dunno.  This year I just wasn't feeling it.  I curled into bed during the power outage and that's where I watched the last quarter. I was asleep within a couple of minutes and didn't see any of the post-game hoopla.

I've never missed a Super Bowl.  In fact, I remember the first one vividly because we watched it at some friends of my parents who had a color tv.  That was a fairly rare things in those days so going to someone's house who had one was memorable.

I've been to 4 Super Bowls in person and in my experience, if your team isn't playing it's more fun to watch on tv than to attend. But now, it's something I typically look forward to and in this case I didn't have a significant investment in either team.  I'm glad it was a good game.  And now, it's a long drought until training camp starts next summer.

Oddly, the election remains alive and well here.  There's campaigning for a "special election" because one of our Representatives was recently named to replace retiring US Senator Jim Demint.  So, that spot is open.  Oy.  It's the same old stuff that broadcast almost non-stop around here for what seemed like years before the Presidential election.  Anyway - it feels like Groundhog Day.

Speaking of Groundhog Day - apparently Puxatawny Phil didn't see his shadow on Saturday so spring is coming early?  Fine by me. 


I recently alluded to the fact that there is change in the air for me.  All I'll say for now is that I'm on an active countdown to end my weekly 600+ mile commute.  One chapter of my career will be closing, and there's an opportunity for what comes next.  The main ingredient it needs is to provide better balance.

I'm enjoying my time here right now with a certain someone and that certainly affects how I'm feeling about balance because it's a constant reminder that there is more to life than just work.  We're already getting the boat ready for summer.  We've been out kayaking.  Work - important.  But I'm looking forward to making better use of the 9+ hours of driving I spend going to and from work every week.

That's not to say my next role will necessarily be here in Charleston.  As a contractor, the key to the entire thing is timing.  Opportunities come and go, and the key is being available or not.  I suppose it's kind of like relationships.  Anyway, I'll work on this over the next few weeks but have very much enjoyed the work we've done over these last several months.  I only wish it was closer.

We'll see how things play out.

I was looking back over some of my blog entries from 2004-2005.  It has been quite a ride.  These blog entries gain value over time, at least for me they do.  It's fascinating to see what has happened once you've got the context of time to consider it all.  Anyway, I find writing in general to be a healthy outlet....I think that's going to be a theme of a workshop I suggest for SCC this year.

Some may know that Dr. Meltzer in Scottsdale is someone I both admire and truly love.  For several years I worked with his patients during their recovery, and I struck up several friendships that continue today.  There is a little "event" there this week to celebrate his 10th anniversary in Scottsdale.  I truly wish I could be there in person....but life gets in the way sometimes.  I'll be there in spirit.

I hope to be in Scottsdale within a month for a visit - some things going on there that I'm not ready to talk about yet because they're not fully baked.  But I've talked before about my need to go back and get the rest of my "stuff" that has been living in a storage unit there.  There may be a cross-country drive in my near future....stay tuned.

Friday, February 1, 2013


I'd say the single most discussed (or over-discussed, depending on your point of view) topic on this blog over the years is Change. If there were a singular theme - that would be it. The good news is that it's an ongoing process so we typically only notice the big events.

I turn 54 years old 3 weeks from today. 54. It's not what I'd call a "major" birthday because it isn't one of those significant numbers. But in the scheme of things it's something to appreciate.

These events turn me introspective. Things I haven't done. Things happening in my life that I need to change. Things NOT happening that I'd like to see happening. I suspect that these next week will be full of this kind of thing. I've come to learn the hard way that these deep-dives into my life often turn into action. So - I wouldn't be surprised to see some significant deep thinking and actions over the coming weeks.

I'm in Charleston tonight and this weekend. I'm in one-of-those moods. It'll be interesting to see what comes from it all. The groundwork for the biggest changes has already been set.

I took a pleasant walk downtown this morning. By combining some simple things on my iPhone and iPad I created something cool.

Speaking of changes....look for some big changes at in the upcoming weeks. It's time to change.

Oh, last for today. I think I'll do a workshop or two at SCC this year. New topics. :-)