I'm Too Sexy....

I chose that title because it's the title of a song from the '80s that I don't mind if I never hear again. But it sure does get people's attention.

One of the questions I was asked at a talk recently is whether or not I had some pre-conception about womanhood, or what living as Donna would be like, at the beginning of my transition and if so how different is my life from those early notions. That was a good question and my answer could probably fill a book.

A second question I was asked was by a reporter who asked whether or not men hit on me at bars. I tried to explain to her that men hit on anything that's blonde with 38D boobs once a little soft lighting and alcohol is applied. She replied that it must be tremendously fulfilling to get that response from men, as though it were some sort of validation of my "womanhood". To that - I told her 'no'. It's not.

People's notions of what's "sexy" are unique and personal. I gave up trying to be traditionally "sexy" a long time ago - I found that it's one of those things that if I need to try to make it happen it just feels awkward and silly. I got an email from Victoria's Secret today and the model on there - now SHE looked sexy. But me? It's not something I think about, try to do, try to be, or otherwise consider in my day-to-day life. Others can worry about looking sexy in a short skirt and heels. As for me - I'll worry about keeping my face (and my pride) intact at the US World Team Trials this weekend. Sexy can wait.

Unless, of course, you find finely toned women athletes wrestling with other women athletes to be sexy. If that's the case - you'll be in heaven this weekend. Winners of this tournament wrestle at the World Championships in Moscow....

As I type this it's almost 9:30pm and I need to pack so I can get to bed. My flight leaves at 6am which means I need to leave the house by a little after 4 to get there in time. Yuck. The good news is actually the same as the bad news which is that I'm lighter right now that at any time in my adult life (my body HATES this). When I got back from practice tonight I had almost 4 pounds to spare which is very, very light for me. It means two things, though. First, is that I can eat and drink in moderation over the next couple of days. Thank God. Second, I don't plan to do another workout between now and the event on Friday. I'm done. I'm tired and worn out from doing this for days on end and need to re-energize so that's what I'm gonna do. And - that's that.

No matter what happens, I can't thank the group at Sunkist Kids and ASU enough for their help these last few days, and over through this entire effort. I'm the only person locally who is competing this weekend (but my coach will be there) so they've gone out of their way to make life difficult for me and work me hard. Although I'm paying for it now I'll appreciate it in the long run. They're a great group and everyone offered best wishes as we all went our separate ways after practice this evening. One of the best parts of being involved in organized sports is the esprit-de-corps between athletes. That's really important, because standing out in the middle of that mat prior to the beginning of a match can be a lonely, lonely place. And then - all hell breaks loose.

If all goes as planned, I'll be in Omaha at this time tomorrow and it will be the last sane evening for a few days. Onwards. And upwards.