Not Afraid

This morning I got a call from the doctor's office. Apparently they got the results of my neck X-Rays and were calling to tell me that the doctor needs to see me to discuss them. That's like being asked to go into your manager's office and to close the door behind you - it's generally not a good thing. I went to see him this afternoon.

He didn't have the X-Rays, but he had the analysis. It included (a) chronic arthritis in my neck and (b) recent muscle trauma. I knew about the arthritis so that's no shocker. However I was surprised that they could glean muscle trauma from an X-ray but apparently they can. The words I was concerned I'd hear included fracture or rupture or tear, and none of those were to be found. Thank God. The treatment includes anti-inflamatories (ibuprofin), heat, and rest while the muscle heals. It could have been far worse.

My BP was good. My weight was good, too. I've gained back most of the ten pounds I lost to get to my skinniest, lowest weight a week ago. I'm exactly where my body likes to be and where it finds a healthy balance point. I plan to stay here until there's a reason to leave.

One of the things that has made an impression on me these last couple of days is the comfort I have felt here in the Valley being around friends. Yesterday was a good example. I've known the service guy at the car dealership (the good guy, not the guy who gave me crap on Tuesday) since I first bought my car and we've got a good rapport. I stopped by to see the always wonderful Maria, and a good friend was sitting in the waiting area. An online friend sent me some roses at her office....

I had dinner with good friends and even graduated up a notch in my sushi-ness - I ordered seared Mahi sushimi. And, there was a fun little meeting with a guy parked next to me who needed to flirt a little and show me his muscular calves.

And, this morning, although getting a call from your doctor that he wants to see you is probably not the best way to start the day I've been with my doctor since the earliest days of my transition so there's a significant comfort level there, as well. I'm sitting in a Borders as I type this waiting for rush hour traffic to thin a bit before heading back across the Valley to get home.

I'm going to my first baby shower ever on Saturday and am looking forward to seeing other friends there. Another friend and I are going to the movies this weekend and I'm talking with still another about getting together for dinner on Monday. All in all - the comfort level of being around friends can't be underestimated.

I'm generally not a fan of rap music but the latest Eminem song has some lyrics I can so identify with. It's titled "Not Afraid":

It's been a ride
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one....
Now, some of you might still be in that place
you're trying to get out
Just follow me - I'll get you there...

...ain't no way I'm
gonna let you stop me from causing mahem
When I say I'm
gonna do something I do it
I don't give a damn what you think
I'm doing this for me
so f*ck the world
Feed it beans - it's gassed up
You think you're stoppin' me
I'mma be what I set out to be
without a doubt
undoubtably
And all those who look down on me
I'm tearing down your balcony...

I'm not afraid
to take a stand
everybody
come take my hand
We'll walk this road together
through the storm
Whatever weather
cold or warm
Just let you know that
you're not alone
Holla if you feel like
you've been down the same road...

Several annual calendar "events" happen over the next few days. The first official day of summer is right around the corner. Weather here in the Valley is consistently 104 and sunny - every day. Later next week it'll heat up to 107 or 108 but when you get this warm a couple of degrees doesn't really matter all that much. We've got 8% humidity so the days are actually fairly comfortable. I've got no complaints in that regard.

Father's Day is around the corner, too. Several years ago I did an interview with someone from some news service about Father's Day. He was interested in talking to me as a transgender person, and about how my son and I celebrated it. Anyway - he writes to me every year around this time to talk about it again, and again, and again. I ignore the requests because it just sensationalizes something that transcends the simplistic words and concepts that they use to try to explain it. We've got way too much of that going on as it is...

Speaking of press, I'm still on the Board of Directors for the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). We recently made news by severing our relationship with McDonalds (see details here). It was only a couple of years ago when we had a VP from McDonalds on our board and there was a brou-ha-ha over that (see details here). AFA called for a boycott and shortly afterwards the VP resigned from the board and McDonalds ended support for the NGLCC (more details). Anyways, I don't expect that this is over yet....

Lastly, I chatted with a friend from high school tonight. There's a reunion to celebrate my high school's 70th birthday in Buffalo this weekend and although I'd really like to be there the reality is that I've got too many things going on and just can't make it. Darn. Anyway, this friend and I haven't spoken since 1976 - it has been a LONG time - but she's one of the people I've been hoping to reconnect with. It was GREAT to chat with her, and I look forward to seeing her next time I'm back in Western NY.