So - there's something fun about girl-shopping.
I didn't go girl-shopping tonight, but I was in Nordstrom's Rack and was around a couple of young women who were out shopping together. I've had those kinds of adventures, and they're fun...
While I was there (bought a couple of little things....just love it there) there was someone I'm fairly confident was another trans-woman shopping there, too. At least, I'm fairly confident that she was. I've lamented in the past how we've got no secret wink or any other way to say 'hi' to one another that's not somehow inappropriate. It sometimes feels like the phrase from the Sixth Sense where the kids says "I see dead people".... I think we're sensitized to seeing one another for no other reason than...well...we just can.
This particular mall - South Point - is wonderful. It's halfway between Raleigh and Durham and on both sides of the street there's pretty much every store I'd want to shop at, except for a real MAC store. But I was thrilled that the traffic wasn't bad, that parking was easy, that there were no crowds. Except at Maggiano's.
I went there, and there was a 45 minute wait at 7:30. So, I ate at the bar with a couple of guys in town on business. It was very pleasant, and as usual I brought food home with me.
As I was walking thru the mall tonight it struck me how this time of year can get depressing. Honestly, I haven't felt it...at least not yet...but it reminded me of my first year starting my transition around this same time of year. They put me on a traveling assignment and I remember staying a week and over a long weekend in Birmingham, Alabama at our mail-order pharmacy there.
I went actually went back to my old journals to find the entry from that time and coincidentally, it was 13 years ago today:
December 1999 – Birmingham AL
It's Sunday morning at about 8:45 and I'm at work. We have a huge building here, and I think me and the security guard are the only two people in it. Sheesh.
For some reason, I'm feeling kinda down this morning. I don't know if it's from feeling alone, or stress, or what...but I can feel it. I was planning to go for a run at the fitness center at the hotel this morning, but I just don't have the motivation or the energy. On top of that, I have a scratchy throat, and a bit of a sniffly nose, so I may be at the early stages of a cold. Great....
I worked here yesterday from 7:30am-6pm, and actually got alot done. Unfortunately, the computer that this program runs on is physically located inside the pharmacy, and that area is only accessible as long as there is a pharmacist here. The pharmacist was scheduled to leave yesterday afternoon and not return until Monday morning, so I had to get a cart and take the system apart and lug it to a cube outside of the pharmacy area and set it back up again....
When I left here, I really wasn't hungry for dinner, and I didn't want to go and park myself in my hotel room for the rest of the night, so it was a tossup between going to a movie or going to the mall. I decided that I wanted to walk around a bit after being cooped up here all day, so I went to the mall. It is a very nice one, and needless to say was VERY busy.
Hotel life. The gym. A cold. Long hours. So much has changed, but so much is the same.
My ex-wife called me last night and we chatted for a while. It was pleasant, but I don't miss her anymore.
My son texted me today to ask me what I wanted for Christmas. I still can't believe that his 27th birthday is 2 weeks from today....
And, the one person I do miss right now....well, thankfully it's not a chronic situation.
My day today was a good one. Tomorrow I pack up, I work all day, then I drive the 300 miles back to Charleston. If all goes as planned I'll be at home in my own bed at this time tomorrow.
So - time for bed. As I said - it was a good day. I just got through several days of ebb, so I need to enjoy the flow while it lasts. :)