Saturday, May 29, 2010

Earned Laughter

I talked with me ex-wife for almost an hour this afternoon. It was a pleasant, upbeat, fun, interesting chat that meandered from topic to topic in the same way as our earliest conversations when we first met - 30 years ago. It truly was a throw back.

Most of those words: pleasant, upbeat, fun, interesting....they're not words I typically use when I talk about my ex. I can think of a number of words that I choose not to use right not. But in this case these "happy" words are appropriate for today's conversation.

I hope they continue to be appropriate tomorrow too. I'm going over to her house (it used to be our house) for dinner. I can count the number of meals we've had together since I left that house for FFS in 1999 on two hands and I can count the number of "pleasant" ones on one hand. It has been a long road full of bumps - really. And there are a number of times when I've just thrown up my hands in the air and given up that it'll ever get better. But I'm an eternal optimist and time is an amazing healer. So is 20 years of memories and having an adult son - but I'm hopeful for tomorrow.

I hope she doesn't spit on it. :)

It's time. No - it's way past time - for us to be able to laugh together again. Lord knows there have been more than enough tears. But sometimes I think you need to earn laughter. Some would say it just comes but I don't know that's true. Real, easy, unforced, fun, laughter is something special. Anyway - we'll see.

One quote that I like: “Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

One thing I want to fade from my memory as soon as possible is the drudgery of yesterday's drive. Yuck. The good news is that there were no lasting ill effects. I went to the gym today for a little workout and was happy with how things went.

Here's my song for the day. Instead of embedding it today I'll just link to it (see it here). I really like this version....

Since I'm on a John Mayer kick - here's song #2. Good stuff (see it here).

I'm heading out tonight and wearing makeup for the first time in quite a while. It feels good. :)


Gwen said...

Congratulations sweetie, it's been a long and often trying time for you and the both of you.
Let's just hope this is the beginning of many better days to come.

See Ally Go said...

Good luck. It is the greatest joy for me that my ex and I can laugh and talk like we did a long time ago. We only traded three calls today.

I'll spin a prayer wheel

Ally in 'Ally'bama

Anonymous said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that the two of you have a lovely time together !